Question:
Hello, Doc. I am 20 years old, and I have just got engaged to a wonderful guy, who is a newly qualified doctor. We have been having sex for around three months, and I have no problems in that area. He is good in bed.
But what is making me fret is this. Four years ago, when I was 16, I had a brief sexual relationship with another girl of the same age. I suppose you could call it an affair.
It only lasted about two weeks. It started with what is called a 'teenage crush'. Then there was a little kissing and breast-touching. Finally, we went to bed, which we did about four to five times. I did not know how to behave at all, but I do remember that she made me orgasm on three occasions.
But what is making me fret is this. Four years ago, when I was 16, I had a brief sexual relationship with another girl of the same age. I suppose you could call it an affair.
It only lasted about two weeks. It started with what is called a 'teenage crush'. Then there was a little kissing and breast-touching. Finally, we went to bed, which we did about four to five times. I did not know how to behave at all, but I do remember that she made me orgasm on three occasions.
I did not understand what was happening to me.
Then it all stopped - mainly because my mother caught us naked in my bedroom, kissing each other. She got mad, and told the other girl's mom. Shortly afterwards, they left the island. I think they live in America now, but I have never been in contact with her and do not want to be in touch.
Don't get me wrong, Doc. I have no lesbian feelings now. I do not want to go with other women, but I want to know if I should tell my fiance about what I did with that girl?
here is the answer
Keep chatting folks, there is an online testing mechanism as captioned (I don't know if it actually works) but it seems interesting: Are you uncertain a about your sexual orientation? Than this is the quiz for you! Upon completion, you will find out weather you are straight, bi-curious, bisexual or lesbian: CLICK HERE
Then it all stopped - mainly because my mother caught us naked in my bedroom, kissing each other. She got mad, and told the other girl's mom. Shortly afterwards, they left the island. I think they live in America now, but I have never been in contact with her and do not want to be in touch.
Don't get me wrong, Doc. I have no lesbian feelings now. I do not want to go with other women, but I want to know if I should tell my fiance about what I did with that girl?
here is the answer
A. Well, studies in the US have shown that a sizeable minority of teenage female students have brief relationships of this sort with other girls. Generally, it is quite a short-lived phase.
So you are far from unusual in having had a short spell of sexual contact with another teenage girl. You would be perfectly justified now in forgetting all about it.
First, should you tell your fiance? At the moment, I can see no good reasons for doing so.
Please understand that men can react in various ways to being told about a spot of lesbianism in the distant past. Some guys get excited about it; others are appalled.
As far as I can see, the only person in Jamaica who knows about that teenage 'crush' of four years ago is your mother, and it does not seem very likely that she is going to start telling people about it.
All in all, I guess you should 'let sleeping dogs lie'.
So you are far from unusual in having had a short spell of sexual contact with another teenage girl. You would be perfectly justified now in forgetting all about it.
First, should you tell your fiance? At the moment, I can see no good reasons for doing so.
Please understand that men can react in various ways to being told about a spot of lesbianism in the distant past. Some guys get excited about it; others are appalled.
As far as I can see, the only person in Jamaica who knows about that teenage 'crush' of four years ago is your mother, and it does not seem very likely that she is going to start telling people about it.
All in all, I guess you should 'let sleeping dogs lie'.
ENDS
If sexuality is so fluid and discussions indeed understandings of polyamory these days the answer from the goodly doctor seems a little dated to me as it is predicated on the old construct of experimentation while sticking to hetero-normative sexual relations.
What do you think about this one?
In previous post (Am I a Lesbian?) I had suggested an online test maybe this one can work for this person as well. Or she can try a true professional on this.
What if she is actually bisexual too?
also see:
Peace & tolerance
H
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