An uneasy reintegration; time will tell

Hope remains while company is true.

The old definition of re-integration but as times change and more and more LGBT people in Jamaica find themselves outside looking in after being kicked out for either coming out or outed things have to change.

It is not very often from the myriad of reports and cases or forced evictions or voluntary exile by persons due to homo-negative reactions, stigma and sheer ignorance that comes impacted person’s reintegration news which suggest all is not lost. My experience has taught me that same gender loving women tend to be more successful than their male counterparts as the trade off of a higher tolerance of lesbianism if you will is way higher; all one has to do is visit the gentleman’s clubs all over the island and see the appetite for women whether lesbian or not mimicking such acts on stage with much cheering from the penny section and sometimes huge tips in the form of money rained on the stage. This has been seen by some experts as a clear sign of the kind of misogyny that pervades our society.

Same gender loving women who are impacted by forced evictions tend to find alleviation easier as trust seems more present, they do not have the spectre of being trouble makers such as their male and transgender displaced or homeless counterparts by virtue of the reporting over the years. Even in general homelessness it is more males than females that dot our suburban thoroughfare as opposed to women.

This latest case involves a then 18 year old bisexual woman who presents as stud she says and who was forced out of home by her mother in Portmore St Catherine in 2013. Thanks to her for sharing this and for the operative who reached out to me by via email in discussing the matters; she was concerned about the reporting on homelessness predominantly on males (the old lesbian oversight or invisibility hints) and hardly any reintegration highlights so she asked if she could make the link to which I replied and hence this post. I am grateful for the number of respondents in recent times to the posts and the sharing of issues freely.

Things however got tense form some time for the bisexual lady and her mother in particular as the relationship became tenuous between the two; arguments dotted with condemnatory remarks, the occasional lockout or ever changing appearing curfews and house rules. Arguments got louder in decibel range, other siblings were encouraged to support the mother’s anti-lesbian stance to which some did and others did not and asked her to ‘cool it’; especially coming from younger family members but older ones held on to a Leviticusal typed mantra in reminding the bisexual woman that Sodom & Gomorrah were destroyed because of homosexuality.

Things came to a head in December 2013 when she was forced to remove despite the tense agreement that if she found a job she would go for a peaceful life. These kinds of tense moments as in other cases often have tied up in the resistance by family members a lack of employment and economic stability or a job as mettle for justifying the pushback or forced evictions towards LGBTQ persons; the young lady was job hunting as she pursued a course at a nearby Community College. Thanks to friends who offered temporary shelter as she requested and has been riding the waves comfortably despite the challenges.

Two senior female community influentials are also involved in providing guidance and keeping close to the situation as well. I do wish there are more influentials like those who are not into fluff but real people and engagement. The impacted woman has been approached by her mother surprisingly and she asked for regular visits to the old home but insisting on lesbian business as it were; the woman had agreed at the time but exchanges in previous visits so far have been tense and guarded she indicated on both fronts. Where it will lead only time will tell but the influentials have encouraged both parties to commence some sort of counselling/talk therapy to deflect any future conflict with a view to mend the relational differences.

I hope this one ends up in a good place and that mutual respect and understanding can come forth out of all this.

Peace & tolerance

H