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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

The ‘B’ in LGBTQ stills means something



The old issue of invisibility of bisexuality in the struggle if not the discourse surrounding sexuality, rights and orientation continues, this blog may be a little guilty of it for this year at least as so many other issues have come up but several tags and posts have been made prior. The matter of bisexuals seen as confused is also very much alive despite the feeling is coming from younger LGBTians and also despite the availability of more information on social media persons still believe that people need to choose between or be either gay, heterosexual or transgender for that matter but not bisexual or have no room for such expressions with pansexuality (that most do not seem to know the difference from bisexuality) seen as an extreme.

The ball started a rolling from a workshop on sexuality in June where bisexuality was raised among other things, the conversation continued on social media and subsequently I was alerted to the furore of sorts as to what to make of bisexuals especially given that one male member of the cohort openly expressed his bisexuality and was wondering about a female partner he was thinking of a prolonged relationship given she wants a child and is also aware of his orientation none the less. It is almost annually I find myself doing these kinds of posts as the mindset change I expected seems not forthcoming. What is even more egregious is that the vitriol towards bisexuals comes from more females than males, a surprising feature to me seeing we expect women to be more sensitive to emotions and so on.

Sentiments to the effect that bisexuals want to hide their homosexual desires or experiment with homosexual sex is wrong or that they want to have their cake and eat it too which suggests sexual greed keep coming up in the sub text of it all. One woman who can be described as a lesbian said she does not want any bisexual as a partner as how could she trust them as she was not sure when they would “switch” meaning she could be dropped and a man become her replacement. Other insecurity driven sentiments also came through on the now deleted thread by the administrator of the Facebook group involved. Things got so heated that terse words and indeed curse words were exchanged. Bisexuality is still able to somehow emote such phobic or opposing responses from within the LGBT populations. Some questioned how bisexuals can settle going from the one partner at a time concept as opposed to polyandrous or polyandry relationships. Despite some interventions in terms of posts and related articles posted in the group in question some persons were just not receptive, I guess we are experiencing the misunderstanding of orientation as binary in a sense as mentioned before.

What is to be made of asexuality and given the rise in the discussion as linked to the matters of intersex and the Olympics, transgenderism where it is believed some gays are getting caught up in the novelty element of same and the aforementioned pansexuality. The sudden explosion of transgender visibility and the notion of sex reassignment as it were some young persons are misaligning orientation with aesthetics, feminization (forced or unforced) and drag culture and wanting to align with trans when in fact they are not in the final analysis. The same workshop where this bisexuality issue stemmed from also seemed to have elucidated this mix up with transgender as well. Transgender in the eyes of some is a safer haven in their eyes to avoid homophobia with the punctuated violence and seek or get comfort in that world which can lead to other challenges especially in the homeless department.

Just to reiterate it, bisexuals are not confused nor are they greedy and do not want to be seen as such and some persons are sexually attracted to both sexes, maybe one moreso than the other and that there is an abundance of information out there we must not see the kinds responses to such persons. We need to simply inform ourselves on such matters and really get a grasp of what LGBTQ actually means; and that they are not just simply cute call letters for use to identify with. Real inclusiveness if not tolerance is needed, if we are to really get some respect on all levels then said tolerance must be already demonstrably clear in our own backyards to include embracing inter/intra community differences.

Peace & tolerance

H

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