Orignally posted on the BiSocial Network
“Bisexuals are whores. Oh my God, what a bisexual slut! You’d better stay away from him; he’s bisexual and probably has all kinds of diseases. You’d better stay away from her; she’s bisexual and will run off with a man [or a ] woman.”
Do any of these sound familiar? If you’re an out bisexual, you’ve probably heard all of them at least once. It’s the age old (and more annoying every year) stereotype that bisexuals will and do sleep with anyone, are promiscuous; and have no standards. While this stereotype is promoted less than it used to be, it’s still quite common to come across it today in both the gay and straight communities, especially in the media and/or when a celebrity comes out as bisexual.
We all know the right wing part of the religious community perpetuated for years and still tries to perpetuate the exact same stereotype about gays and lesbians, but now it’s becoming increasingly socially unacceptable to do so, which is a good thing.
However, why haven’t bisexuals been included much in the trend of making this stereotype unacceptable? Why is it still relatively acceptable to apply the term to us? Why do well meaning websites continue to post “how to” guides about how to date us (can anyone imagine one that said “how to date a gay person or a straight person?)”
Everyone knows there is promiscuity in every community, including the ones who pretend that it doesn’t exist. It’s pretty accepted by society at large as normal and ok in the straight community, somewhat accepted as normal and ok in the gay and lesbian communities (just look at shows like the L Word and Queer As Folk), but not too accepted when it comes to the bisexual community.
We often have to go out of our way to prove both to friends and potential partners the “yes we are bi but—we are also monogamous” scenario. Why do bisexuals have to be the ones to try “extra hard,” even though there is promiscuity in both the gay and straight communities, and it’s been proven that overall we’re not more likely to cheat or sleep around then the rest of the population?
One explanation that is mentioned often is that the idea of uncertainty scares most people. Dating someone who is attracted to both genders can make some people feel uncertain, that that person is fully interested in them and won’t “switch the next day.”
I’ve never understood why the opposite gender is a threat, but people don’t seem to think too much about the uncertainty [or the] possibility of a partner cheating with someone of their own gender. In recent years, one of the best things that the gay community has been able to do to combat homophobia is to show society, that in many ways same-sex couples are not that different from opposite-sex ones, when it comes to the issues they face.
This commonality has helped more people see gay people as “people” and not just gay. Yet it’s been harder for the bisexual community to follow this image, largely because the idea of bisexuals being monogamous is still not that widespread.
The bisexual community—just like the gay community, has put considerable effort into dispelling this stereotype, which can be seen all over the Internet and in numerous books. Yet, the stereotype persists. How can we help overcome it?
| About the Contributor: Maria M: Maria M. is a political writer in all forms of activism—and has marched in Washington DC for equal rights and landing bisexual interviews in politics and literary news. Maria came out as bi in early 2008.
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