Lavender Rules - Bull peeps into the China shop

contributed by Lady Leslie

This may not be the way to do it but I am very good at doing things and making a mess so here comes the bull entering into this China shop.

Bull peeps into the China shop

I have been thinking about a name change recently because I dont think that either side of the family gets it. I believe in things in their purest form, love never dying be it romantic or platonic. To malice hurts me. But I have a flaw I am a lavender rose. To most of you the reference maybe lost and for sensibilities and phobias I will not explain this term ( well at least not yet, I will ease you into it slowly). So yes I am a lavender rose. And this colour in me makes it easy for people to feel violated by me. Yet they never seem to think that pushing themselves on to me wont make me defensive. So take for instance this constant slur of phobia in my ear. Playing songs meant to offend calling me a freak just because mommy said you should. Then you wonder about the kid's grades. I can take that shit from anybody outside but never from someone who proclaims undying love and falls under the category of family.

Bull proceeds to back of china shop.

When I was a kid I saw alot of things. But one of the things I witnessed that scared the shit out of me was watching a man I revered beat my Grand Uncle to a vegetable state because he was gay. This fear is numbing. So when I came out of the closet and loosing my mothers side of the family ( the side that was instrumental in my development) all of them too straight to comprehend this atrocity, I leaned a little unto my Fathers side scared to cross over because there was some bad blood brewing already ( remember Bull in a China Shop). I spoke to my dad when the fears began and recounted the tales of a molestation by his brother and my rape. Years after his death I said to an uncle that I was gay and he said he knew and we mosied on with our lifes. Maybe I was in search of some comfort ( my kryptonite) from the fact that I finally knew that this thing that I am is in my bloodline (although many of us refuse to admit it).

But what I truly dispise is the silence among families. Who though they profess love are never bold enough to say "so tell me about this lavenderness". Instead they sit around and whisper without the slightest affirmation of anything except that you are in love with the best thing that has happened to you and you have to hide it have to be prejudiced and have to be ridiculed because of it. Like I would choose to be this. I SIMPLY AM.

Fuck it!!! I believe in love in its holistic sense. I believe that I have to love some one or else I will whiter up and die inside cause I have been fucked with and fucked by men who I never wanted but willed myself to be with so as to make my Mother my Father happy. Homophobes all of them. Double hell for me, hurt by them betrayed by myself.

I know I have no boundaries sometimes. But I do know that there is no reason for me to be treated like shit because you cannot visualize what I do to my partner. Because you find my sex repulsive. But I am not fluanting my sex. I amhappy to be in love. Simply with the way she smiles for me and at me even when she hates me. I love the way her eyes flicker and dance when she eats her favorite food. The sound her toes make when she is happy. The way her serious face scares the shit out of me. The way time passes slowly as if it knows how sacred every second is. The way her smile changes my mood into better. And the way she fits so perfectly on me and falls asleep for hours. The way no matter what she has my back and allows me to have hers ocassionally. She is the only one allowed to ever say to me I LOVE YOU LOTS and I believe. The way I feel like a better person for having known that love. The simpicity of it all. So take your mind out of the gutter.

So following me around, or stalking me cannot justify anything. All it does is infuse in me hate for you and your stupidity. Cause if you had fallen I would pick your heterosexual ass up brushed it off and given you shelter simply because Jesus says " Do unto others has you would have them do unto you"

I am not perfect. And I can sure as hell do better with this life now, but isnt family some kind of security you are granted even when it all falls down. So yes I will change my name and build a family of straight and gay people who no matter what will live by the rule in this my Lavender heart " do unto others as you would have them do unto you". I hope some family members transition, cause I seriously love you all.

God damn it if I make you uncomfortable at least talk about it. Dont say you love me cause I wont believe a single word you say. Just in case you forgot 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.

Now calm down with my favorite song

Ps we are not responsible for BUJU damn man tasted the coke and had a gun..work that out...sad but true And if we are I disagree that was not a very nice thing to do guys... I am not responsible.

Jamaican author writes gay novel

According to the Star News (I of course removed the question sign they had in the headline as if it were some shocker or something to hear of a Jamaican penning a gay novel)

Typical Star News

Paula Gordon wrote:

A Jamaican woman living abroad for the past 15 years has ventured into unfamiliar territory with the publication of her first novel.

Who would have thought that a Jamaican woman would have been the author of a gay novel?

The self-published book Related Affairs was written by Tilsa A. Wright. Wright, who now resides in Brooklyn, New York, spent her early life growing up in Harbour View, Kingston 17. She migrated to the United States just after graduating from Camperdown High School.

In an interview with THE WEEKEND STAR recently, she disclosed that she had no plans to be a writer. She explained that the idea to author the novel came to mind while she was having a conversation with a business partner about three years ago. "I came up with the plot, characters and title within three days," she said.

Wright was quick to point out that the title of the book was "a given based on the fact that all the plots are related."

Related Affairs is a classic case of jealousy and betrayal. It deals with complex relationship issues and the views of some Jamaicans towards homosexuality.

The story which takes place in New York City sees the character named Anna meeting the attractive and talented Paul. Anna is initially drawn to Paul by a sexual attraction, but later learns how valuable he is as a friend and business partner. Paul is a homosexual and carries some deep, dark secrets including one about Anna's new-found love. However, Anna's parents disapprove of her relationship with Paul, which sets off tempers and begins irreparable scandals.

most homophobic places

At a time when Jamaica is considered to be one of the most homophobic places in the world, the Jamaican-born writer admitted that she decided to write the book because, "I'm just brave like that." Wright revealed that, "I was getting tired of the fights that homosexuals have been getting." Further adding, "It's becoming overbearing ... It's their choice, their sexual preference. We need to address character rather than sexual preference."

She noted that although she touched on the homophobic situation in Jamaica, she tried not to dwell on it in a negative sense. She believes that her time spent abroad has allowed her to be more tolerant and acceptant of homosexuals. She is also of the view that, people in general and Jamaicans in particular should learn to "embrace and love the rainbow".

While it's not a true story, the writer intends to intrigue readers with a tale that teaches them that "we are all as colourful as the rainbow and related through human connections".

For Wright, the book will find favour in Jamaica. Its popularity will increase "If people have an open mind ... if persons who read and embrace the book give it a voice," she remarked.

Added to the good feedback that she has been receiving about the novel, she says she has the complete support of her family members and friends. "People here (New York) are waiting on part 2," she said.

She informed THE WEEKEND STAR that plans are also being put in place to develop the book into film. "I am confident that things will take off in a year," she said.

While happy with the outcome of her work, she divulged that it was very challenging for her being a first-time writer. She is encouraging young writers to "stay focused and align themselves with a good support system".

In the meantime, Wright, who has hopes to launch the book in Jamaica, says she will do so "as soon as the human climate permits it." But for now, she says that persons who are interested can purchase the book online at Barnes and Noble and Amazon.

Wright says that she is aware that not everyone will agree with what she is doing and not everyone will like her work. "If it's not for you, then it's not for you," she said.

Trinidad happenings: Sexual rights are human rights & CAISO

Trinidad has been heating up recently following the debate in their parliament on same sex unions and possible rights which look close at hand if CAISO has anything to say about it and they have been speaking out.

Meanwhile this interesting article appeared in the Trinidad Newsday on March 1:

Sexual rights are human rights

It is heartening that the question of the rights of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) people has been so much in the news since the topic of same-sex marriage was raised in the Senate on February 15, 2011. That discussion in the Upper House came during a debate on the Statutory Authorities Amendment Bill, as senators noted there was a need for discussion of same-sex marriage given that our country does not recognize even common law marriages of people of the same sex.

Gender Affairs Minister Mary King was quoted in a daily newspaper as saying, “The debate must start and we must ensure that debate is taken throughout the country and when the recommendations come in they will be taken to the Cabinet for decisions.”

The Family Planning Association of Trinidad and Tobago (FPATT) is happy the issue is being ventilated, but we are obliged to note that marriage is only one of several human rights currently denied to GLBT people in this country. As gender relations and human rights expert Diana Mahabir-Wyatt said in a Newsday article that week, “People should have the same rights under the law.” FPATT believes, as does its parent body the International Planned Parenthood Federation (IPPF), all people ought to have the right to express their sexuality without fear of oppression. FPATT President Dr Jacqueline Sharpe, in her portfolio as IPPF President, said in the foreword to the document Sexual Rights: An IPPF Declaration: “Sexuality is a natural and precious aspect of life, an essential and fundamental part of our humanity. For people to attain the highest standard of health, they must first be empowered to exercise choice in their sexual and reproductive lives; they must feel confident and safe in expressing their own sexual identity.

Sexual rights are a component of human rights, they are an evolving set of entitlements related to sexuality that contribute to the freedom, equality and dignity of all people, and they cannot be ignored.”

Cogent to the discussion is the danger GLBT people face daily in this country. Harassment, intimidation and physical violence are visited upon many individuals simply because of their real or suspected status as GLBT people. The recent horrifying murder of Ugandan GLBT activist David Kato in Africa occasioned a statement by a group of Caribbean sexual rights organisations, including FPATT, lamenting the killing and drawing a relationship between Africa and the Caribbean: “Were it not for advocacy late last year, 13 Caribbean countries would have allowed ‘sexual orientation’ to be removed from an international statement of commitment to protect persons from unlawful killing because of who they are. David’s death, following threats against his life, is a gripping reminder of the importance of those protections, and a sobering one of how much more work needs to be done to give people the right to freedom over their bodies in places like Africa and the Caribbean, where battles against slavery, colonialism, racism, apartheid, genocide, gender inequality and religious persecution ought to have taught us better lessons.”

David Kato was openly gay and targeted by the media, the church and the national community for his sexual orientation and his activism. The New York Times’ report of Kato’s killing said, in part, “‘David’s death is a result of the hatred planted in Uganda by US evangelicals in 2009,’ Val Kalende, the chairwoman of one of Uganda’s gay rights groups, said in a statement. ‘The Ugandan government and the so-called US evangelicals must take responsibility for David’s blood.’

“Ms Kalende was referring to visits in March 2009 by a group of American evangelicals, who held rallies and workshops in Uganda discussing how to turn gay people straight, how gay men sodomised teenage boys and how ‘the gay movement is an evil institution’ intended to ‘defeat the marriage-based society.’” The report notes that shortly after the evangelists’ visit, the Ugandan government drafted legislation that would make homosexuality punishable by death.

The report is chilling in itself, but becomes downright bloodcurdling when one considers that evangelists with the same mission have visited and continue to visit Trinidad and Tobago. There are four seminars planned for various venues here in March featuring Pastor Phillip Lee of His Way Out Ministries/ Exodus International, who will speak on the topics of coming out and homosexual conversion to heterosexuality. While anyone is entitled to believe in whatever religion they choose, and to have the full protection of the law in doing so, GLBT people do not enjoy the same rights in exercising their sexuality. Rather, their right to enjoy their human sexuality is constrained by laws that prohibit same-sex intercourse; people of the same sex in abusive domestic relationships are justifiably frightened to report the abuse to the police, for fear of harassment or intimidation; GLBT teens are too often targeted and attacked at school… the injustices and indignities are too many to list here.

The IPPF Declaration states in Article Ten:

“All persons have the right to effective, adequate, accessible and appropriate educative, legislative, judicial and other measures to ensure and demand that those who are duty-bound to uphold sexual rights are fully accountable to them. This includes the ability to monitor the implementation of sexual rights and to access remedies for violations of sexual rights, including access to full redress through restitution, compensation, rehabilitation, satisfaction, guarantee of non-repetition and any other means.”

Same-sex marriage is a worthy goal, but we have to agree with the Coalition for the Inclusion of Sexual Orientation, a local gay rights group and an FPATT ally, in saying, “The proposal is a distraction, Government clearly isn’t listening, and has its priorities on GLBT issues wrong.” We urge Government to pay heed to the GLBT community and act now to ensure the safety and security of all GLBT persons in this country, which is their right as human beings.

Contact the FPATT at executivedirector@ttfpa.org

ENDS

meanwhile see the recent CAISO video entries on the debate:

CAISO calls for equal rights - TV6 Morning edition, 21 February 2011 from CAISO on Vimeo.

Lesbian Identified Bisexual .........oh those labels

So the labels become more intertwined as we struggle to free ourselves while gaining recognition for who we are, a debate now rages in certain parts of the blogosphere and social network sites leaning towards bisexuals about the above captioned "label" which could be interpreted as a bisexual female who identifies as lesbian mostly to other lesbians or lgbt people probably our of fear or rejection or having to explain who she is to others who are strident in their own "gayness"

Some of the comments from the debate which I took the liberty of copying for this post suggest persons are confused or at best trying to come to terms with the description given that bisexuals get a bad rap already just from "invisibility" faced even while grouped under the LGBT rights/activism banner.

Some comments include:

"I know people who are "Straight-identified Bisexuals" and straight women who call themselves "Women-identified" and in many cases to make it clearer the phrase "Bi-identified LGBT Activist" is used. I guess it depends on the context and the intent."

"I see no problem with a lesbian-id'd or straight-id'd bisexual person. I think it's more forthright of a description, certainly is more detailed and honest, to me."

"I totally own this label, even though I am now married to a man. For me, it means that I am more into women and I identify a lot with lesbian culture."
" If someone is embarrassed about the state of the bisexual community then instead of hiding their personal identity they should help make it safer for people to identify as bi. The act of closeting one's identity reinforces the idea that on some level it really is something that ought to be hidden. This really is an area where, as a bisexual person, one is either part of the problem or part of the solution. I would venture that, proportionally, there are more closeted bi people than closeted lesbian, gay, or trans folks. When I came out it was partially a personal decision and partially a political one. In today's America, anyone's coming out is more or less the same in that way. There is a lot of internalized biphobia and it is related to, but distinct from, internalized homophobia. As a community internalized biphobia (as a separate issue from internalized homophobia) is something we need to be having a lot more conversations about"
"For what its worth-my own identification with the bisexual label, or any label I have chosen for myself over the years, has always made me look away from orientation and more towards one's character rather than their category. The label only tells a small part the story. Not necessarily a popular view but still unique for those who choose to look it at that way."

"they're calling themselves lesbian only to later come out bi in close personal conversations and request that it be kept secret."
"I know a couple of women who use this term to mean that they have had and would be open to future relationships/attractions towards men but they are primarily attracted to and date women. In fact, these 2 women, tend to use the term "lesbian identified bisexuals" when talking with bisexuals (I guess to denote where on the spectrum they fall). In mixed/un-known company, they use bisexual. I guess I'd have to evaluate the person using the title to know what they mean by using that term."

Sadly even in the gay community we give bisexuals a bad rap and many do fear coming out or disclosing that they prefer both sexes in fear of being vilified as confused or even described as nymphomaniac and unable to be satisfied as we gays cage them in our homo normative world.

As one comment above states we reinforce the biphobia and invisibility problem when we condemn our brothers and sisters who go both ways, another problem in the Jamaican GLBTQI advocacy context is that bisexuality is ever hardly discussed thus the advocates commit biphobia by default and thus our inability to handle even homophobic issues when all are tied together and then we wonder about the downlow?

Identifying as Bisexual, Fluid, Pansexual or Queer simply means that you were born with the capacity to be attracted to people regardless of someone's sexual or gender identity.

It does not define either one's lifestyle or sexual behavior. It does not mean you are promiscuous, a fence-sitter, a slut, a nympho, in the closet, unable to commit, trying to claim heterosexual privileges or whatever. Bisexual and pansexual people can monogamous or abstinent. They may have multiple sexual partners or be married/partnered for life. In other words, lives of bisexual/pansexual people are pretty much identical as those who identify as lesbian, straight or gay except that you have the capacity to like people of more than one gender.

Being bisexual/pansexual is part of who you are, of what makes you"uniquely you", but it does not dictate that you must then follow the crowd or what some people say about how "people like you" should live your life.

Many pansexual/bisexual people may have one committed relationship that lasts for decades while others may have many different kinds of relationships with different people. Some bisexual/pansexual people have no sexual relationships or they may have relationships with people of only one gender; yet, they still consider themselves to be bisexual/pansexual. On the other hand many people may have relationships with people of their own and the other gender, and yet they self-identify as Gay, Lesbian or Straight.

Also don't worry about not knowing for sure right away. Sexuality and self-knowledge develops over time, and you should feel no pressure to identify in any particular way to please other people. Follow your own heart, it all comes down to what makes you feel most comfortable and what you perceive yourself to be.

Coming to terms with your bisexuality can be difficult. However, lots of people have difficulty learning to like themselves, regardless of their sexual orientation.

Some people also have difficulty understanding bisexuality, and some bisexual people may try to hide their bisexuality. In an effort to numb the effects of societal stigma, people may turn to drugs and alcohol and may even attempt suicide because their situation seems unbearable. However the vast majority of other bisexual people - just like you - lead successful, happy lives and you can too.

It helps to be informed and to know that you aren't alone. Read about bisexuality. Learn what it means to be bisexual. Make an effort to meet other bisexuals - they can be a valuable resource to build your self-confidence.

Just remember that there are lots bisexual people wherever you are. Sooner or later you will meet someone who feels some of the same things you do and has had similar experiences. Realizing that you are not the only bisexual person will make liking yourself a lot easier.

Peace and tolerance

H

(excerpts taken from BiNet USA) or here

Attacking Gender Based Violence

with Blakka Ellis

Yow my beloved peeps, tell me. What more can we do individually and collectively to help prevent all kinds of violence? And what do you really know, or how do you feel about the frighteningly increasing incidences of gender-based violence? Then tell me this, can a young woman 'man up?' Or can a young man actually be a feminist? Oh, and one last question: what exactly is a healthy relationship?

Is some very deep and serious questions dem deh, don't it? Yeah my peeps; and I definitely don't have any ready answers. But this coming week I'll be enjoying the pleasure and honour of being a co-host for what promises to be an exciting day-long event for school youths in Toronto. And that event will explore questions such as those and much more, in creative, participatory and fun ways. Mi cyaant wait!

Hear how di ting set. It's an International Women's Day Forum for young people aimed at generating discussions and advancing education to end gender-based violence and promote healthy relationships. It will be held at York University on Friday March 4, 2011 starting at 9am. The event is being organised by the 'BeLovEd' Movement under the theme 'be inspired, love yourself, educate others'. Mi love dat.

OK, so what's this movement? The Beloved movement is a stimulating campaign utilising workshops and arts-based ideas including posters, theatre and mural art, as well as radio and video public service announcements, to raise awareness and respond to the issue of gender-based violence.

sexual assault

And what motivated the movement? The Toronto District School Board (TDSB) released a school safety report called 'The Road to Health' in January 2008. And the report raised serious concern about the level of violence taking place within Toronto's high schools. The report found that sexual assault and sexual harassment are prevalent in Toronto schools, with 33 per cent of the students surveyed reporting that they have been a victim of sexual harassment in school over the past two years. The report also confirmed what many people suspected, that gender-based violence (GBV) occurs often and goes unreported. Sound like is Jamaica dem a talk bout eeh?

Well, the community responded! Yeah man, the Network of Community Based Organisations (NCBO) which is a body made up of community groups based in the Jane/Finch / Black Creek communities wanted to do more than we in Jamaica tend to do (you know, like releasing statements of condemnation and 'expressing concern' and dem boring ting deh!) They did a whole heap of stuff!

sobering findings

They sought to support a community, youth-driven response to the sobering findings. They hosted a series of community meetings with key stakeholders, identified key messages for the campaign and formed a working group. They secured funding and created a 'Strong Women, Strong Communities' mural project.

They organised community consultation sessions and commissioned work to local artists, conducted workshops with youth to develop PSAs, media advertisements, posters and other marketing tools. They established partnerships. And they organized International Women's Day Forums like the one I will participate in this week.

Alright, so why am I sharing all this? It's a really positive movement. And I want to invite my co-host, community health worker and Beloved organiser Lisa Brown to come do a similar beloved thing with me in Jamaica! Wha unnu say people?

box-mi-back@hotmail.com

Different world, Mr Gomes

In response to in essence a smoothly worded yet bigoted article that was published in the Observer written by Anthony Gomes entitled

The androgynous blurring of the sexes

this wonderful letter came from an obviously thinking individual.

First here is an excerpt of the article referred to as written by:

Anthony Gomes

"................The Roman Catholic religion states clearly thus: "The matrimonial covenant, by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership of the whole of life, is by its nature ordered toward the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of offspring; this covenant between baptised people has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament."

According to the Vatican: "The Catholic Church contests these revolutionary innovations which, in the name of freedom, seek to legitimise a union regarded by the universal consciousness as going against nature".

Apart from being in sync with the changing times, contemporary liberalism has gone beyond the realm of propriety in its expectations.

Pope Benedict XVI has issued a caution to deviants that the gender theory blurred the distinction between men and women and could thus lead to "self-destruction" of the human race.

"Saving humanity from homosexual and transsexual behaviour is just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction. Rainforests deserve, yes our protection, but the human being does not deserve less."

see below as well for full post, he went on about procreation and other matters giving the impression that he was tolerant only to have the true colours coming out read this wonderful response to the article published on February 28th 2011 written by a fellow blogger and advocate in his own right.

Dear Editor,

I write with reference to the article on February 23, 2011 , "The androgynous blurring of the sexes" in which the author, Anthony Gomes, struggles with the concepts of sex and gender within the context of the modern social revolution and his own longing for traditional values to hold firm.

This article is the best example to my recollection of how easily bigotry is masked by piety. It demonstrates how the smiling cleric can despise your very essence, but still feel compelled to proselytise in order to capitalise on some holy coupon scheme - the pie in the sky, if you will.

As much as part of me sympathises with Gomes' longing for simpler times, I find he posits non-traditional expressions of sex and gender as inimical to the continuation of the human race. Therefore, halting them becomes not just an expression of personal displeasure but a moral obligation and act of survival. This is the great deception of fundamentalists the world over.

They like to depict some sort of Sexual Armageddon in a topsy-turvy future that will come to fruition if "traditional values" are not protected. This is achieved of course by keeping marriage a binary concept for the fertile and Christian, eliminating the fluidity of gender and sexuality responsible for the fall of the Roman Empire, and inculcating from an early age that non-conformity is a threat to civilisation.

I suppose God didn't create inter-sexed persons or trans-gendered individuals. That Lucifer fellow sure is crafty!
I wish Gomes well that he might realise his dream of a world more in keeping with his own values, and I hope to God that I don't have to live in it.

Brian-Paul N Welsh
brianpaul.welsh@gmail.com

In The Life: Our Bodies Our Rights

As we continue to watch happenings on the lgbt scenes up north here is this month's entry for the In The Life documentary series.

A disproportionate number of LGBT youth who go through the juvenile justice system end up encountering discrimination and abuse. IN THE LIFE features the stories of young people who share their journeys of going through ill equipped correctional institutions and the voices of advocates who are fighting for change. Followed by a look at the consequences youth face for not conforming to gender "appropriate" dress and behavior in their homes and schools.

Our Bodies, Our Rights

March 2011 (00:28:00)

Juvenile Injustice (00:15:22)

"When it was time to see the judge my aunt had the option of taking me back but she said, 'No, I don't want him.' I went back to my cell for another month."

-George del Rio

Policing Gender (00:08:38)

"Our schools need to be a place where people feel like they can thrive and be who they are and be their most successful version of themselves."

- Carson Kressley

You Are Not Alone

February 2011 (00:03:00)

"You should never be ashamed to be in love with somebody."

In The Life Media staff share their personal stories of hope for young queer viewers

Did Buju not know that loose lips sink ships? (Observer Column)

CHRIS BURNS

Source

For it is written among other things that "he that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life, but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction". Furthermore, "A nuh everything good fi eat, good fi talk". Even so, the verdict that was handed down by a federal jury in Florida last Tuesday, which found Mark "Buju Banton" Myrie guilty of three of four charges, elicited anguish and scepticism among his supporters across the world. Many were expecting a vastly different outcome. But alas, Buju was found guilty of conspiracy to possess with the intent to distribute cocaine, possession of a firearm in furtherance of a drug trafficking offence and using the wires to facilitate drug trafficking.

In reacting to the verdict, one of his fans quipped, "Yuh nuh si seh a pure Babylon tings a gwaan, my yute. Buju nuh deserve none o' dis yah wickedness. De man dem frame 'im, but Babylon kingdom is bound to fall." In his mind, Buju is a victim of an oppressive American justice system. But as alluring as his passionate outbursts were and as defiant as his gesticulative behaviour appeared, I did not join him in apportioning blame to any specific group for Buju's woes. And I am not about to hop on to the caravan of conspiracy theorists, whose purpose, it seems, is to downplay the merits of accepting personal responsibility and applying logics and common sense to our thoughts and actions.

None of this is to suggest that Buju's Boom-bye-bye utterances, or his staunch intolerance of homosexuals, did not bring greater scrutiny towards him, because we know that not all human actions are motivated by purist intentions and are above reproach. That notwithstanding, we should look at this case in view of the evidence presented, but also with full awareness of the doctrine of "opportunity and inclination" and the role this may have played in the minds of the jurors as they deliberated on the circumstances that caused Buju to "taste" that stuff in the warehouse. There is no need for malevolence from anyone. Like most of his fans, I would have preferred a different outcome. My heart and prayers go out to his parents, who must have been disheartened by this verdict.

These serious charges could cause Buju to spend a minimum of 15 years behind bars. Sentencing is yet to be handed down, so before we throw up our hands in complete despair, or fix our eyes on the southern stars of condemnation, we should be mindful of the fact that he has the right and the option to appeal this conviction. Furthermore, the sentencing judge may exercise some discretion when handing down his ruling. Perhaps Buju was being prescient about his own future when he said, it is Not an Easy Road, but let us hope that he doesn't face an extensive incarceration, should his appeal fall through. Let us look ahead to the promises of tomorrow, and because life's destiny is never clear-cut to anyone, one can only hope that hidden treasures will emerge from this ordeal.

At 37 years old, Buju is still relatively young, and despite this setback he can go on to lead a remarkable and transformational life, during and post-prison. He can continue to pen positive lyrics and use his voice to bring positive changes to millions around the world. Consequently, my consolation to Buju is deeply rooted in an idiom my late grandmother often shared with us. It is very much about loss and life, as it is about defeat and triumph. She reminded us constantly that, "Wha nuh cost life, nuh cost nutten". Implicit in this is a certain consciousness that the gift of life is supreme. For although one may lose everything, the fact that one can still breathe, see, hear, think, feel, create, touch and enjoy the splendours of God's creation should be enough to impel one to learn from the tragedies, mistakes and setbacks in one's life and make amends.

Therefore, the unfortunate circumstances of life ought not to become permanent walls of inaction and resignation. Once we become conscious of the character and flavour of our mistakes, accept responsibility and submit to atonement, we should then embark on a journey to fulsome redemption and reformation. In coming to grips with the misfortunes of life, we should also compel ourselves to evaluate the opportunity costs associated with the things we lose, the freedoms we abrogate - wittingly or unwittingly - and the pain we endure by not having them. But we should only do so with the view to motivate ourselves into taking full advantage of the new opportunities for positive change that lie within our grasp.

Truth is that none of us can claim perfection. Errors will be made, some more dastardly than others, yet we cannot play victim or dwell in the emptiness of self-pity or blame everybody else but ourselves for our failings. If there are lessons to be learnt from Buju's predicament, they should be how we control our tongues.Yes, we must place bridles on our tongues sometimes and become cognisant of the effect of unguarded talk, as it could come back to bite us in the softest places of the anatomy. Buju admitted this much during his testimony. He said, "I knew it (drug deal) was all talk for me because when I left Johnson's company, I say to myself 'idiot', I am not a drug dealer. I talk the talk, but I did not walk the walk..." Was it a good strategy to use "idle talk" as one of the bases for his defence?

I often wonder why almost all Jamaican jokes in circulation, particularly those on the internet, end with the Jamaican saying something downright stupid to expose one's own prior actions, often without solicitation. And although these jokes are meant to titillate, they reveal a serious reality about our loose lips. Could it be that we are so inherently honest or helplessly transparent, that we cannot keep a lid on our own tongues? We have a habit to "gwow" a lot without regard for socio-cultural repercussion, but as the frog says, "What is joke to you is death to me." Then, there is no stopping us, especially when we feel we have an opportunity to compete or impress - boy, we go to town without being mindful that "loose lips sink ships".

Burnscg@aol.com