Our Children are at great risk ........

By Leighton Levy wrote this piece in the Star News which is one of the few remaining sensible non sensationalistic columns left in the paper which was once described as the afternoon version of the Gleaner: Have a read:

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to live with faith.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.


- Dorothy Law Nolte PhD (1972)

It was bound to start happening. I mean children live what they learn, children learn what they live, or so the song above says. We could not go on treating each other like savages and killing each other the way we do and it not affect our children. After all, this is what we have been teaching them for a while.

It was no surprise then that in recent times we have borne witness to a couple of incidents where children have become the perpetrators of murders. There was an incident recently where a young girl stabbed her 22-year-old brother to death, another where a girl accidentally stabbed her brother to death 'while playing' (I mean, who plays like that with a sharp knife), but the most heinous occurred a few days ago when a 15-year-old girl stabbed her six-year-old brother to death!

Now, I don't know about you but a single stab wound is one thing - even though I am still unable to wrap my mind around why someone would want to stab a six-year-old - but to stab the child four times, that's just plain cruelty.

perpetual violence

It is easy to pin these incidents on the attackers and turn a blind eye to the bigger picture and we do that very well here in Jamaica, but how much longer can we continue to ignore the fact that the perpetual violence that this country has been besieged by for more than a decade has finally begun to take hold of the psyche of our kids.

Seriously, what kind of dispute can a 15-year-old have with a six-year-old that would require the elder of the two to resort to stabbing the latter to death? I don't care what the issues are; stabbing someone to death can never be the solution. But in Jamaica today, we seem to have lost the ability to argue our way out of disagreements. The minute an impasse develops our first reaction is violent. So while we continue to try to dig our way out of this enormous financial hole we have found ourselves in, there are other more serious issues that we also need to contend with.

The examples we set for our children are very important in their overall development. It makes no sense we tell our children one thing and then we show them examples that are in direct contradiction. Children are not idiots and it's time we recognise this; and I don't care where you're from.

People who live in impoverished communities sometimes like to use their economic circumstances as an excuse to behave poorly. What they should remember however, or at the very least be cognisant of, is that we should always want our children to lead better lives than we did. So with that in mind, we have to start to do better. Similarly, in more communities of more affluent people, if their children see their parents using their considerable means to flout the law, what do they think the children will do when they become adults?

We have to start to do better. It seems as if it is already too late to save this upcoming generation that has already been severely scarred by the violence around them, but I have long held the belief that even on the road to madness there is always a way back.

Send comments to shearer39@gmail.com

ENDS

Coincidentally the matter was touched on via the GLBTQ Jamaica Facebook Group by a bisexual parent who expressed some concern about children's care and safety, she commented

"When adults are not conscious of how unconscious they are, they are unaware of how damaging their actions can be. in many cases the children suffer more than adults realize. (Discover the Gift)

For many years my world struggled to understand my passion for deliberate parenting, my focus on identifying and unlocking the key to my childrens' heart and mind and not just their actions. My scarifices (seeming), professionally as i pursued the school of life, to create, find, recreate a world in this world for children to BE acknowlegde as equal spirits to all other beings.

To clear the confusion as to the Right to be seen as well as heard, to be trusted rather than to have doubt and dependence shackled to them. To connect to the pain and bewilderment, the frustration and the thoughtless submission enforced by an ' unaware adult world, it hit my consciousness today, i cannot get weary in fighting for parenting to be more than a presumable osmotic expierence.

So many experts now speak and write books on strategies of parenting, missing the most important link, to build the consciousness of the adult, to change thought, deny myths, affirm spirit in the process, allow the equal participation of the childs spirit with ours.

This was was cry as a child lost in an adult world, today i allow my children to help me to find 'our' way in this world.

I thank my parents Walter and Rubie for giving me a glimpse of Positive Proactive Parenting."

Also at a recent community meeting where JFLAG was present it was asked and subsequently proposed that we stand with allies on other issues chief among them the rights of the child and given recent atrocities to the young it is disturbing that we have not joined in the chorus of condemnations on them, it's no wonder why the nation is cynical and compare rights as more needed than others with our calls deemed unimportant?. We cannot just be locked on gay rights or seeking superstar status as it appears to be that on that basis as many of our own detractors are champions for children's issues chief among them Betty Ann Blaine for example, if we ask the gay lobby are asking the nation to be tolerant then why are we uncooperative in working with these groups on issues that affect us as a whole? Yes Jamaicans for Justice and others do speak from time to time about LGBT issues then why are we reciprocating and join them publicly on issues they champion?

So the hypocrisy on our part continues.

Also see: Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) Functional Bisexuality, family units & the discourse

Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) (repost from 09) ........ International Family Day

Peace and tolerance

H

MSM Homeless Issues brought back to attention again

So the issue of homelessness, displaced, aimless, unemployed or unemployable Men Who Have Sex With Men has been brought back to the front burner via a Star News article yesterday August 2, 2011 where a set of guys in the New Kingston area came into some trouble with the police which is not the first time as carried here and on my other blogs about the lack of interest in really getting to the root and starting to solve this issue. Sadly the lack of care also from the MSM community itself who see themselves as well behaved and by extension better off is not encouraging either.

Have a read of the article in question from the Star News:

POLICE end gay party

Party celebrations among a group of gay men who were seen stripping and throwing water at each other along Knutsford Boulevard in New Kingston was brought to a premature end by the police yesterday morning.

"You should a see dem, some inna bottom rider shorts and all a wear brassiere," an alleged eyewitness told THE STAR.

Information reaching THE STAR is that the men who were attired in close fitting clothes were jeered by motorists who drove by where they were standing but the men stood their ground and continued their antics.

THE STAR understands that the men, numbering about five, who were later identified to be homosexuals fled at the sight of the police who arrived at the location about 10 a.m.

Two men who were a part of the group were later apprehended by the police after they became involved in a brawl.

An 18-year-old man and his 27-year-old lover became involved in a dispute after the teenager accused the man of rendering his services and not paying him.

warned

They were warned by a police patrol team that arrived on the scene.

The men, both of Portmore addresses, held hands and walked away in good spirits.

Interestingly, THE STAR further understands that after the men avoided intial prosecution by the police, they got themselves into trouble again after they assaulted a man.

"Dem see a man a pass and a psst after him and a tell him seh dem like him," a person who claimed to have witnessed the incident told THE STAR.

It is also understood that the male victim kept his composure and ignored the taunts from the men but became infuriated after one of the men slapped him on his bottom.

The man then reportedly tried to hit the man who touched him on his buttocks but had to make a hasty retreat towards the New Kingston Police Post after the men threatened to beat him.

The men later ran in separate directions after the police tried to apprehend them.

The St Andrew Central police confirmed the incident.

ENDS

Two cents continued:

While some members of the community lambaste the Star for the alleged eye witness being present others loathe the so called sketel/raucous behaviour of the men some of whom are openly cross dressed and are not afraid to "carry on" as it were in public, many persons feel that the phenomenon in not only New Kingston is setting a bad precedence for the rest of the community as if somehow all we are are just worthless males who in essence sell our bottoms or are involved in commercial sex. Sadly as hinted to above in the introduction no sustained semi or fully residential typed interventions are in the offering now or if any soon and I fear that even if they were to be such programs put in place it would take some time for the men to come around as their "freedom" on the streets though dangerous as it can possibly get come with no rules or guidelines from others except their own. There are some who are still concerned about the lack of empowering activities to help them to help themselves and not a bootcamp scenario as was attempted when the old temporary shelter was in operation, which was closed to accommodate its conversion to an office for JFLAG. There is limited access for some of the brothers to shower and have a meal or take away items but it is not nearly enough even in the face of a campaign to get Jamaicans to be tolerant and accept gay children.

Other comments for Jamaicans ring:

"Even though the star tend to over exaggerate their stories at times esp the gay ones - if this story near go so. then we can clearly see that sometimes we ourselves as gay draw attention and harm on ourselves. its bad enough that Jamaica is a homophobic society but at least we can curve our behaviours/actions so ppl can slowly accept us for who we are. when we portrait these types of behaviour in public, do we think we are doing ourselves more good than harm? Then we get up everyday and say how Jamaica is violent against homos etc.. but really and truly, sometime things that happen can be avoided. we self inflict wounds on ourselves..."

"There are less than perfect gays in any society in any country, but it's bullshit to think that they 'represent' the community by their actions. An individual is just that, an individual...they represent THEMSELVES in words, thoughts, actions and attire. Anyone who believes that all gays act a certain because of the actions of a few is dumb as hell..."

"Some of us need to come to Jamaica and see what the gay society has become .It is a microcosm of the nastiness that prevail in the society today ....most of us are decent and ambitious. but like every deviant conduct the few will make it bad for the society in question ..so instead of blaming tabloids and going around the the issue we need to recognize there is a problem and find strategy to deal with it ....we need to face reality . Sometimes I am embarrassed to be in new Kingston at nite and see their behavior and if they know that you are gay and you pass them by without stopping when they call ...they then try to "bring you down" and this loudness and dancing and skinning out on the street is not necessary ...and yes they do wear clothes that could be termed as women attire ...."

"There is blame on both sides, but some of us have a tendency to take aim at the community more than it deserves.

The Star's lack of value as a journalistic publication is easy to prove: when have they *ever* published any story involving gays that paints us in a positive light? It's always, always, always jealous lovers stabbing each other, or schoolboys having sex in the back of a taxi, or shrieking queens disturbing the peace in broad daylight.

They know full well that playing to the gallery sells papers."

So debate continues in various quarters, let us see where it takes us.

Also see older happenings on the subject of homelessness:

Men Beaten in New Kgn

Drag queens double jeopardy

MSM Homelessness 2011 ...my two cents by glbtqja1

Peace and tolerance

H

More complaints about Clovis cartoons ................ Part 2

In part 1 on sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch we looked at the series of cartoons coming from Clovis, resident cartoonist for the Jamaica Observer who has come in for some sharp criticisms from letter writers locally and overseas, while I can understand some of the concerns in as far as painting the stereotypes of the gay community in a negative sense thus feeding homophobia there is another side to it especially the toon of the effeminate looking men shopping which may suggest open cross dressing and effeminacy may have come a far way in as far as public showing are concerned but by no means near the tolerance levels should be.

Here are some of the cartoons as published in the Jamaica Observer recently:

here is the letter below on the complaints with regards to the last toon from top, see what you make of it

Clovis' underpants are showing

Dear Editor,

Clovis has recently received much attention for his editorial cartoons and I would like to add my few pennies to the pot. One John E Sabio wrote in his letter on July 29, "Clovis and homophobic cartoons": "Yet, while his pen describes reality, it also often prescribes a deadly dose of condemnation, specifically on the issue of homosexuality. Clovis's pen leaks not only ink, but blood as well... When he assails the LGBT community with his virulently homophobic sketches, he muzzles sensible debate by fanning the flames of the Bun Chic-chic man mentality. The most fatal consequence of Clovis's sketches, which is not readily apparent as the bright colours he uses, is the blood that drips from his stained paper. He emphasises a woefully inaccurate stereotype... My request is that his dissent should not encourage a bloodthirsty mob. It is one thing to disagree, but quite another to inject animus. The latter, I am sure, cannot possibly sit well with his religious values, or if the case may be, his secular morality."

Now I know a picture is worth a thousand words and that the pen is mightier than the sword, but to use words like "fatal", "blood", "bloodthirsty mob", "assail", is blatant overexaggeration, superb hyperbole and clear melodramatics. All this seems like utter paranoia and griping by Mr Sabio. Which of last week's two homosexual-depicting cartoons seem to be conjuring up the mysterious anti-homosexual hysteria to which Mr Sabio is referring, and how does it or will it arouse homophobia and anti-homosexual sentiments across the nation? I fail to see how. I am even more hard-pressed to see how Clovis will be responsible for any alleged homosexual bloodletting that has gone on in the past or could take place in the future. Mr Sabio's letter is a baseless emotional outburst, with no substance and nothing to substantiate it in reality.

Recently in the media as well, there has been much debate on objective journalism, media balance and political bias. Now if there is any fault I can find with Clovis, it is his clear political bias. The letter "Good job, Clovis" by K Whyte which states: "I have a cartoon idea for you. Show a meeting of comrades with everyone in orange underpants. Then have someone at the podium like Sister P announcing, 'We need a few more volunteers for journalists and political commentators. Just try not to let your underpants show.'"Clearly the writer and Clovis have been caught with their underpants showing. I have always suspected it to be green.

Yannick Nesta Pessoa

cyber_yan@yahoo.com

ENDS

also see:

Why does Clovis make gays look effeminate? (Observer Letter) .....

Cartoons and the use of gay typed characters part 2