Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) (repost from 09) ........ International Family Day

International Day of Families, 15 May 2011
(observed 12 May 2011)

Theme: "Confronting family poverty and social exclusion"

Contrary to popular belief, there are gay parents here in Jamaica, most of them conceived or derived children during earlier heterosexual unions before going str8 gay as I call it or from marriages that end in divorce. There are lesbian parents more so than gay male parents to my knowledge as well and the children in these unions seem to be more rounded in their approach to tolerance and the sharing of responsibilities generally speaking based on my observation.

The opponents of gay parenting here who also oppose homosexuality consisting mainly the church and christian organizations who say that children must not be raised by gays because there must be a mother and father figure in the home, let's look at the so called hetero correctness where children suffer in bitter divorce battles or parents are physically present but emotionally absent hence leaving the child to seek other alternatives for development and recreation.

Str8s are doing a good job aren't they? just look at how intolerant we are as a people towards a personal decision taken based on our orientation and freedom to exercise choice ...... wow, look at how many street children or to be more religious children born out of wedlock, the alarming rise in carnal abuse, paedophilia (which is not homosexuality or committed by homosexuals as some would like others to believe), hebephilia where our teenage girls are literally watched in their growth process and targeted by men for sex (coaster bus syndrome), rape and incest. Only this week there was a disturbing news item of a girl paid by her uncle for sex.

Visible outcomes
One particular male who has three adopted boys did so out of the need for them to have a father figure as they were the product of two HIV+ parents who subsequently passed away. He is very strict with them and doesn't allow them to stray an inch, his gay lifestyle does not seem to impede his ability to father them and he has taught them that there are many types of people in the world. The boys age from the eldest 14, 12 and 10. All are attending school and are doing fairly well. They are aware of their parents' fate and are counselled by professionals who keep a close watch on them. I guess with these support systems in place it would be easier to manage these children especially in our homophobic setting where even kids often emulate what the adults do to other children who behave differently than what is expected.

I am aware of a lesbian couple who entered into a relationship some time ago with both of them having children from previous hetero unions, the kids have since been raised to be tolerant and are compatible with each other, they are told by their moms exactly what is happening and of their parents' orientation, the boy and girl ages 11 and 8 seem not to be perturbed by the arrangements and are doing well in school and socially as well. The father of the boy is active in his life and although he is upset with the mother (according to her) he speaks to both women when he visits the home to see his son making sure not to show any descent in front of them as responsible adults should behave.

There is a male couple who have been together for a while, one of the men has a son from a previous marriage but the union ended in divorce, The mother decided to share custody of the child although she was aware of her ex husband's new lifestyle and living arrangements. He has been visiting his son at her home where she now has a new spouse and the child also comes to his home as well. The growing boy, as most children do, has been asking alot of questions and both parents deliberated on how to handle the information so he would understand and the timing of it as well with confidentiality. To their surprise after they painstakingly discussed the issues with him he said openly to them that he loves them no matter what. This from an eleven year old. Kids are not fools, never underestimate children.

I think that confirms a religious phrase "And a little child shall lead them"

All in all it is clear to me that children when given the correct environment of love, support and education can become rounded individuals despite the gender and orientation of the caregivers, I don't need studies to tell me this I see it everyday by the three examples above and others which may make this post extraordinarily long so I will follow up some other time.

also see from Gay Jamaica Watch: Sexual Reproduction for Same Sex Couples?

Peace

H