Some concerns about same gender loving women on the rock

With the recent murders of several men who have sex with men and related issues taking centre stage on mainstream news and in the LGBT community's gaze the same gender loving female community issues get overlooked sometimes but one concerned sister in the community shared with me and another influential a story of one of her friends who is going through a rough time so to speak with the forced eviction from her home by predominantly her father which led her to leave voluntarily after a heated argument with him among other things.


You will appreciate not all the details will be presented here but the ones relevant so as to raise some issues.





We since arranged a meeting with the young lady who spoke candidly about her dilemma as she crashes with another friend in a kind of alternative crisis intervention plan. 

.......... here is an old audio post I had done in 2011 raising person's willingness to provide temporary accommodation to other LGBTians who may need emergency shelter after a traumatic or phobic event.

Some considerations ..... would you assist someone who has been displaced ???

Same gender loving women too also go through displacements but we often do not hear about them that much as MSMs are more prominent and visible in as far as the outcomes are concerned leading to sometimes full homelessness. She was willing to share her story and allowed some minor details to be shared via this blog in a bid to carry on the discussion about insensitive parents and their separation from their LGBT siblings once perceived or found to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or even transgender though often confused as a cross dressing gay individual.

Issues here in this case included:

1) Profiling


2) Prying into personal stuff and space (where the displaced woman's father searched her room sometimes in her absence and kept asking questions such as where was her boyfriend?)


3) Restrictions of the use of the computer as her father thought she may be influenced by some lesbian, his resolve was allegedly strengthened during the brouhaha over the lesbian coercion matter in the media earlier this year although she was already out of the home voluntarily.  


4) One parent showing slight support - i.e. her mother showed some concern but had to be discreet in her connections as her husband the victim's father would scold her upon realizing or finding out that contact was made


5) The victim's desire to reconnect despite the opposition from her father but does not know where to turn for proper psycho social assistance


6) Other friends impatience with her suggesting she get over the issue and move on while implying she must forget her parents altogether


7) Her father's unease with her semi masculine or stud aesthetic


Linking up:

The recent discussion on a television program "All Angles" hosted by Dionne Jackson Miller (just above time:1:41 onwards) resonated somewhat with her mother more so than her father as both saw the program on TVJ hence the attempts to reconnect even more thus allowing for some discreet visits to the home of course in the absence of her father, as she outlined this development it was clear to me that she was moved by that first visit back to the home as her reactions proved she was touched by the development.


It is however good she could have reconnected in some way but her friend and I are in no way capable or qualified to counsel her as to this type of intervention where families are concerned, although peer support is indeed helpful in some respects, the most her friends have been doing already was encourage her to move on and suggested as aforementioned permanent separation from her parents as a solution. 


The psycho social support here is needed as I have been reiterating in previous posts referrals sometimes do not work and not all counseling experts are LGBT specific in their practice and do not know how to handle related issues. There was an infamous case years ago where a lesbian was referred to a counselor and she was told in the session to seek God and the whole nine yards which led to the particular counselor being removed from the list of referees for such services at that time.


She has since been referred to a counselor to have the matter looked at unfortunately at market rates though I wish it were pro-bono but such is the scheme of business. We need some sort of residential support systems that negates the need for referrals that could end up costing so much money that some displaced and homeless lgbt people already do not have. It is good to know that persons are seeking out ways to help each other in the community but our lesbian sisters need equal attention just as MSMs do or get as there is a perception that the women are often overlooked in the eyes of some persons as for me I say flat out that they are overlooked often times.


I am keeping my fingers crossed on this one and hopes it works out for the best.


Peace and tolerance


H

United Belize Advocacy Movement (UNIBAM) discusses sexual orientation; is it a choice?

The President of United Belize Advocacy Movement (UNIBAM), Caleb Orosco, is taking the government to court, challenging Section Fifty-Three of the criminal code on the grounds that it criminalizes homosexuality. This morning the organization held a meeting at the Radisson to dialogue with various human rights agencies. It discussed a myriad of issues including sexual discrimination and ways to increase the understanding of gender based violence, homophobia and LGBT human rights issues. According to Orosco, the LGBT movement is raising consciousness on sexual orientation across demographic lines. Clinical Psychologist, Asa DeMatteo, presented scientific findings on the origins of sexual orientation and Orosco says it is not a choice.


Caleb Orosco, President, UNIBAM

CALEB OROSCO

“I am proud to say that the one thousand or so people that we have in our close group in Belize for the Constitutional Challenge have not only raised awareness, but they have engaged the Christian right and their position. I am most proud of the fact that we’ve taken sexuality out of the closet—and not just LGBT sexuality; I mean sexuality as a whole. Nobody in this country can ever say that they do not or have not had a discussion on sexual orientation. Nobody can ever say that they don’t know what discrimination is like or they cannot say that there isn’t a face to the issue of discrimination. We had invited a clinical psychologist to try to build new research around epigenics and basically it is scientific research that talks about the origins of sexual orientation. 

For us, his presence here has value because he brings not only a professional perspective but a scientific background in explaining what things are. His value is also to break up some of the myths that have been projected out there in the media; that sexual orientation is a choice, that sexual orientation you can pray the gay away. These are fundamental issues which have hardly begun to be address within the media or the education system. So his presence is about increasing the awareness of the other scientific research.”

According to Orosco, no individual should endure abuse because of their sexual orientation. According to Clinical Psychologist, Asa DeMatteo, the court challenge is the beginning of a long process which will inevitably lead to the tolerance of differences on sexual orientations.

ASA DEMATTEO

Asa DeMatteo, Clinical Psychologist

“Gay people say I’m a citizen, I pay my taxes, I live a life in this country or my country and I want to be equal under the law. Belize is like the United States in the 1970s or England in the 1980s; this is moved faster in some places than others. A lot of people, particularly here in Belize talk about it as a gay agenda or as a conspiracy. I don’t know how you call it a conspiracy for someone to say I wanna be equal. I want to be treated equally under the law. The biggest opposition—but not all the opposition—comes from the religious community and that’s just a segment of the religious community. I don’t think they should be asked to accept it. What they have to be asked to do is keep the laws out of discrimination. 

No church has to accept that homosexuality is not a sin; no church has to accept gay marriage or anything like that. Religion like sexuality is a private matter that each person gets to choose. And so what they need to do is tolerate differences. This issue is for me and for gay people; this is our life. This is our everyday twenty-four seven life that we have to cope with; this insult kind of insult to our dignity and our civil rights. For the church it is a side issue. It’s an important to them, but it is not central. Central to their belief is their love of god and their adherence to biblical principles; that is their central focus. And why they are going to accept it is that they are just gonna give up.

That’s what happen all across the world. They’re gonna say all right already we understand the equality and how that happens so far—and I can only look at history to predict how it happens in the future—is that gay people say I’m gay. Caleb Orosco started this thing but that’s not gonna change. What’s gonna change people is when they find out; oh my butcher is gay; oh my nephew is gay; oh my son is gay; my daughter is in love with a woman. When you know that someone is gay, you can’t hate them anymore because they’re your community; they’re your brothers and sisters and friends and neighbors and business men and stuff like that. And that’s how it happens all over the world. And Belize isn’t different from the rest of the world. And it will come. This is the beginning of a long process.”


UNIBAM, as an organization has been struck off from the case by the court, but Caleb Orosco, its president is continuing with the legal challenge.