#IDAHOT2017 ...............

IDAHOT-IFED 2017: Celebrate Family Diversity

International Day against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia (IDAHOT)

International Family Equality Day (IFED) 2017

“LOVE MAKES A FAMILY”

Families are at the heart of all of our lives. Whether it’s the family we grew up with or the families we have built as adults. Whether they are families of biology or families of choice. We are all part of “families”, and those families; however we define them, influence all aspects of our lives.

In 2017, the focus on “families” will particularly spotlight
- The role of families in the physical and emotional well-being of LGBTIQ people
- The social and legal recognition of Rainbow Families, the families where at least one parent is LGBTQI

Families of LGBTQI people

The situation

The family constitutes the very first environment of any person, including members of the LGBTQI community. This is the place where values are shaped and transmitted, where security and safety is provided, and the place where self-esteem and confidence are constructed. Families, therefore, have great powers … and great responsibilities in the moral and physical well being of their members.

Family is especially critical in environments where members face rejection, stigmatisation and sometimes bullying in the “outside” world, in which cases the family constitutes the only available “safe haven”.

This sense of family happens “naturally” when the cause of stigma is shared by all members, such as in instances of race or other ethnic identity and economic status. Unfortunately, when the sexual orientation and/or the gender identity of a family member differs from the rest of the family and/or their perceived “social norms”, the overall family experiences a conflict between the loyalty to the family member and the compliance of the norm.

When the balance strikes in favour of the norm, the family might become the first perpetrator of rejection and violence where members meet non-conformant gender expression or sexual orientation with rejection. Children are of course the prime victims of this violence. All too often parents become their children’s first bully, allow or even support bullying by siblings, and even expel young people from the family home, exposing them to homelessness and all the dangers a young person is confronted to on the streets.

In Canada for example, the association of Parents and Friends of LGBTQI people P-Flag reveals that 26% of LGBTQI youth were told to leave home. Locally the evidence of forcibly evicted persons especially youths aged as low as 14 is as clear as crystal. Groups such as JFLAG, Colour Pink, Dwayne’s House and others still cannot seem to get their act together or make themselves one to begin to properly address this growing problem.

Families, especially those under the influence of radical religious movements, might chose to impose so called ‘conversion therapies’, which not only constitute a human rights violation in themselves as they constitute forced treatment, but often include degrading and harmful practices, both psychologically (aversion therapies, humiliations, etc.) and physically (deprivation of food and sleep, electroshocks, etc.) Considerations for coming out so to speak to children of bisexual parents as well is crucial geared towards understanding, bearing in mind that many persons had relationships for varying reasons; persons entered in arrangements to normalise themselves in the eyes of other family members and siblings.

While children are of course the main targets of this family violence, exclusion also hits other members, for example when family members who come out are being excluded from family gatherings, denied contacts with other family members like nephews and nieces or grandchildren, expelled from family property, etc.

Elders who are LGBT are also particularly vulnerable to abandonment, mistreatment, isolation and abuse, a phenomenon I used to see oversees but as life expectancy in Jamaica continue to extend in the post HIV epidemic era boosted by sustained ARV/HAART/CHART treatment. Other lifestyle diseases are showing a slowing down of mortality rates such as diabetes, hypertension and heart disease to name a few are a good sign as the choked health systems struggle to meet overwhelming demand based on the supposed ‘free’ healthcare systems and drugs as dispensed by outlets such as Drug-Serv. Families with progressive social values, while they will not display hostile attitudes directly, often lack the necessary tools to discuss sexual and gender diversity. The silence surrounding the issue contributes to creating a climate of exclusion and, in any case, does nothing to alleviate stigma and discrimination endured outside of the family setting.

Like anybody confronted with unknown or unusual circumstances, families who include members with non-conformant sexual orientation and/or gender identity need support, education and resources. Attention to the needs of families must be given by social and educational authorities, by LGBTQI organisations and their supporters, and by mainstream family organisations. Re-integration programs are so essential but seem not to be happening at the speed and urgency that are required. Families must be able to access correct and unbiased information, psychological support and adequate resources to help them deal with the situation in the respect of all their members.

The actions

For May 17 and definitely onwards, possible actions include:

For LGBTQI organisations to ensure that
· Voices of parents, friends and allies are given special attention
· Specific resources for parents, friends and allies are developed
For parents, friends and allies of LGBTQI people to
· Join an existing organisation
· Form an organisation of parents, friends and allies of sexual and gender minorities

For educational authorities to

· Develop a specific educational pamphlet on sexual and gender diversity for parents, or to include sexual and gender diversity in existing resources

· Provide adequate support to families in dealing with sexual and gender diversities.

For legislators, to
· Introduce bills that respond to the specific needs of families, friends, and allies of LGBTQI people.

Rainbow Families
The situation

In many countries, Rainbow Families, that is families where members are LGBTIQ, are faced with unsuitable domestic laws, if not a total legal void.

This lack of proper recognition of Rainbow Families exposes their members and especially their children to all sorts of legal risks. These families live with the thought that if a tragedy touches their life, for instance, the death or accident of the legal parent, the bond of the social parent to the child may not be recognised by the Law and basically their family life can be severely disrupted.

Children being raised in LGBTIQ families are denied legal ties to their parents, putting them at risk. For example, when LGBTIQ parents are prevented by law from creating legal ties to their children, these parents may be unable to pick up their children at day care, may be unable to advocate for their children at school, and can be denied the ability to make critical healthcare decisions for their children.

The lack of legal ties also creates undue financial burdens for LGBTIQ families, and can place children at economic risk when parents’ relationships dissolve, when a parent dies or becomes disabled or when seeking access to government safety net programs during times of economic crisis.

Formal recognition of same-sex relationships gives couples the tools and the security they need to build a life together. For committed same-sex couples with children, relationship recognition provides both legal and economic security for the entire family. Denying this recognition robs children of crucial support and stability, and ultimately leaves families unprotected, which makes creating and raising a family even more difficult.

Adoption is one of the primary ways that parents who are LGBTQI create families, whether through the public foster care system, a private agency, or simply a second-parent adoption of a partner or spouse’s child. However, in many countries LGBTQI individuals and couples still face barriers to adoption, making it difficult or sometimes impossible for these loving, qualified people to create families.

Studies show that alarming numbers of students with parents who are LGBTQI report experiencing bullying, harassment, and discrimination at school because of who their parents are and how their families were formed. As a result, these students are deprived of equal educational opportunities and are too often left with few or no avenues for recourse. Research shows that unchecked bullying and harassment negatively impact student achievement by decreasing interest in school, increasing absenteeism, and decreasing concentration levels for students. Leaders in the fields of education and child welfare agree that positive school climate and culture is a critical condition for promoting students’ academic success.

In addition, lack of recognition of LGBTIQ families leads to second parents often having to conceal their parenthood at work, creating untenable tensions between their careers and their parental life. In case of professional moving of a person in an LGBTIQ family, the needs of their family members will not be taken into account. Uniting LGBTIQ families is even more of a challenge when these families have been formed across borders. The lack of recognition leads to families being unable to unite, or having to leave existing homes, which means uprooting children from their schools, friends, communities, and extended families.

The non-recognition of LGBTIQ families also means that their housing needs cannot be properly addressed, especially in the case of families who are on welfare programmes. In the private sector, LGBTIQ families are prone to discrimination in access to rental or property, with hardly any protective measures effectively in place worldwide

Social stigmatization and legal discrimination of LGBTQ families forces children to stay in a closet that is not even their own. One of the greatest challenges reported by youth with LGBTQ parents is a sense of isolation, loneliness, or feeling that “they are the only one”. Furthermore, for Trans people, the family encompasses also other issues, like forced divorce that Trans people have to undergo to gain legal gender recognition in many countries. Another crucial issue is of course the forced sterilization still imposed by almost all countries in the world for legal gender recognition that takes away opportunity and choice to have biological children and family.

· Ensure that children with a same-sex parent have the same protections as children with married heterosexual parents, including the security of legal ties to both parents. The Child Care & Protection Act however limits what can be said indeed done for LGBT youth in Jamaica and fearmongering fanatics once such work is attempted go screaming claims of ‘grooming’ as if to suggest activists and organizations are trying to ‘homosexualise’ children in the ‘lifestyle’

· To remove existing barriers by defeating legislation, policies, and practices that restrict parenting by those who identify as LGBTQI; promoting and passing new laws that promote LGBTQI parenting such as second parent adoption; and promoting policies and practices that are inclusive of LGBTQI parents.

· To gain recognition of same-sex relationships and to fight off attempts to deny recognition to families who are LGBTQI.

· To ensure that all children have the same opportunity to thrive – which requires that they feel safe, supported and valued in school and are able to attend without fear of bullying, violence, harassment, and discrimination because of who their parents are or how their families were created.

May is also child’s month and the abuse of children is so frightening it boggles the mind while in the same breath children who are not gender conforming continue to find themselves the brunt or stigma, merciless teasing at school, forced evictions and feeling lost as to which way to turn.

Other reports continue to surface such as:

2 cases of forced evictions due to social media (mis)use

• Death threats in one of the inner city spaces of a young gender non-confirming male
• Man booted from church after sustained profiling church officials for not having a woman as a potential wife
• Parents continue to try to change their suspected gender conforming children in a bid to reshape their orientation
• Fallouts from poor or mistakes made from social media usage 
• Sex tapes gone viral which leads to verbal and physical abuse of the suspected parties involved

The struggle continues and it may feel a bit daunting sometimes but not pressing on is not an option.

Peace & tolerance

H

On pastoral abuse, celibacy, cover-ups & passing the buck

Gleaner's Lasmay addressed it in 2010

As the furore surrounding the numerous cases of pastoral sexual assault continues, the selectivity by some church related groups is disturbing to say the least. The rapidity of the allegation crossing denominations only adds more of an abominable stench indeed abominations outside the Levitcal posture to the already rotting flesh in the department of trust and power by what is supposed to be trusted and honest clergymen. Something rots in Denmark! What is also coming to the fore is the perceived secrecy indeed cover-ups by some leaders and groups as they try to deflect the national scrutiny since the Moravian pastor allegations of the assault of a minor with a married pastor.

also see:

Betty Ann Blaine | Sex Abuse And The Church: Reveal, Repent And Redress (Gleaner) and Betty Ann Blaine on the big gay lie .......... you do the comparison. I agree with her on the call to Report child molesters and Public Theology Forum | Is It Just A Little Sex? - Church, Sex And Power (Gleaner)

The generalized prayer, the brushing over of the challenge by turning the scrutiny on non-Christians and their sins with the ‘enemy’ as the cause continues as it were instead of an open and honest introspection we get non traditional church voices to include antigay groups blaming traditional churches such as the Catholics who are “afflicted” with that problem; a recent ‘not in our church’ sub texted discussion on The Breath of Change, TBC radio suggested or that sort of thing does not happen in our church. There may be some truth to that given the hundreds of years the Catholic Church has been around and the historical records from as back as the 11th century shows us the appearance of an organised cover-ups running all the way up to successive Popes under whose tenure the problem occurred and continues almost unabated.

New has come to hand (as I did the draft of this entry) thanks to the BBC that a female chief member of the group addressing clerical (one of two previously abused) abuse has resigned even as she suffered abuse in the 1960s. The Irish woman from Dublin is now 70 years old and at the time of her ordeal she was 13 years old. Her idea was called AWARE which included hotline services especially in safeguarding children, counselling and some action against clergy found wanting. Strangely in the first year of the commission’s in 2014 existence there was no office space allocated and no staff which gives the appearance of deliberate obfuscation and efforts to frustrate the processes. Cover-up! The commission was not given any list of designated staff in the various Vatican departments with whom the commission could liaise; the commission then recommended that a tribunal be put in place whereby negligent priests could be held accountable, this was something that was approved by Pope Francis in 2015 but suddenly the congregation for the doctrine of faith said there were some legal difficulties and the tribunal was never implemented.

See her statement HERE then there was this: 1st  March 2017 Press Release from the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors

On Monday, February 13, 2017, Mrs. Marie Collins, a Member of the Pontifical Commission for the Protection of Minors [PCPM] advised Cardinal Sean O’Malley, President of the PCPM, of her intent to resign from the Commission effective March 1, 2017.

Mrs. Collins, a Member of the Pontifical Commission since its inception in 2014 is a survivor of clerical abuse, and consistently and tirelessly championed for the voices of the victims/survivors to be heard, and for the healing of victims/survivors to be a priority of the Church.  In discussing with the Cardinal, and in her resignation letter to the Holy Father, Mrs. Collins cited her frustration at the lack of cooperation with the Commission by other offices in the Roman Curia. 

Mrs. Collins accepted an invitation from Cardinal O’Malley to continue to work with the Commission in an educational role in recognition of her exceptional teaching skills and impact of her testimony as a survivor.

What is also strange is that in 2015 another previously abused member who was also on the committee was sidelined after they announced the entire exercise was mere window dressing. But such are bureaucracies eh. Marie Collins the woman in question said that she was appreciative of the Pope’s leadership and said that he actually isn’t the problem. 

“The Pope is doing his best and he has made it very clear to church leaders around the world what he expects in regards to dealing with child abuse and with anyone who might abuse; but I think within the Vatican itself is a sort of a bubble there are just that small core who still I think don’t get it.” She said to a BBC reporter.

While Mrs Collins (Twitter) was able to fight through these bureaucratic obstacles her position became untenable according to her, when she was told by one Vatican department that they would not ensure all correspondence from victims would receive a response and for her it is the victims of abuse that require the greatest care and rightly so. She decided to resign. The president of the commission itself has expressed deep appreciation for Mrs Collins’ work while several newspapers in the Vatican have been paraphrasing those thoughts garnered from the Pope himself, the president also says he will offer prayers for Mrs Collins and all victims of abuse. That sounds more to me as a thinly snicker in a position of defeat by Mrs Collins, in other words glad she has left and now we can proceed under the guise of offering prayer. 

Meanwhile locally we could easily site some of the obfuscation at the Vatican and other foreign based orders designed to divert or deflect and questions, we are seeing Pentecostals, Seventh Day Adventists, Church of God structures and 

UPDATE: Revivalist Pastor arrested in Spanish Town today. Pastor to be charged following allegations that he molested a 14y.o. boy.

— Abka Fitz-Henley (@AbkaFitzHenley) February 5, 2017

Pocomania/Revivalists as a recent case shows, other denominations are factoring which suggests there are other things we may be missing and are festering out of sight but slowly coming to the fore. Who knew the dark secrets all along and did nothing? What do the governing structures of these denominations know and have been deferring or sweeping under the rug? Is the rug now two inches away from the ceiling regarding this matter? Newspaper articles barely skirting the issue of sexual assault by pastors directly while presenting the issue in a generalised context only gives the impression of a kind of intellectual dishonesty about it all; after all the said dishonesty has been used to magnify charges of paedophile intent by gays, grossing out perceptions of anal sex to include scatting or felching when we do not on a wide scale go to such extremes. It is the magnitude of the arguments that make the charges and stigma convincing hence the homophobic trap we find ourselves in. Also see: Dr Wayne West’s continued intellectual dishonesty on fisting felching & chariot racing by homosexuals in Jamaica

The resignation of Pope Benedict is widely believed it is the pressure he met with given the underbelly of the abuse of power by members of the Vatican and at monasteries worldwide, our local archbishop had said that he is not aware of any reports of such abuse, but if we are to go by the fear factor to report powerful bishops and men of the cloth things will remain under the carpet. Impacted individuals will simply not come forward, the US African American evangelical preacher Eddie Long’s case some years ago showed up the complexities of misuse or abuse of pastoral power and lesser powered individuals who often cannot say no or do not know how to in the face of a pastor who is supposed to be next to be infallible; albeit that Long case had a same gender element but the gender of the abused is immaterial and they feel abused. Sadly the unwavering support by congregants is also disturbing as they seem blind to the allegations as in the Long case is also reflected in the pending court cases locally to wait and see what evidence comes forth and the cussing out of the media as if they are the ones castigating the accused while using prayer and the ‘enemy’s fault’ in a victimhood ploy i.e. pastors/priests are infallible.

As the Moravian case and the misguided Hampton High School principal’s intervention by blocking the media from trying to interview the accused even as she helped to post bail for the man has shown us; now the school’s good name and image has been brought into disrepute, as she refuses to resign, in recent weeks much more is slowly coming out to suggest she and others including the wife of the accused who are board members of the school knew of some of the shenanigans but kept it hushed, the usual do not upset the apple cart mantra in governance structures. How various systems and terms over time have made the discourse of the lower powered position such as pregnant teenage mothers but what do we call the men who got them pregnant, normal!

Why is it that the congregants simply do not question pastors on certain things or check them by holding them accountable? Often engaging in victim blaming and seek to justify it. They and other supporters also seek to cuss out the media as they seek to cover the matters outside the courtrooms. The half hearted press releases and convenient narratives by antigay groups such as Jamaica Coalition for a Healthy Society, JCHS and its youth affiliate Lovemarch is insulting to say the least; their recently concluded seminar 

on sexual abuse some days ago focused more so on national sexual abuse by non-Christians as opposed to clerical abuse within the church as a whole, all this while charging a fee to enter but when compared to the antigay push mass rallies are held without any charge to attend, numerous documentaries are paid for by them, they fly in foreign antigay voices, sell DVDs and books to earn income while footing the bill for high priced attorneys in the ongoing buggery constitutional matter yet our homeless need help nationally, children’s’ homes need help other societal ills sit right before us. That ‘it’s you others and not us’ subtexts rang loud and clear in the materials that have since been released and the groups skirt around the matter that requires deep introspection.

It is sad that with one God we have so much division and denominational strife, and then there is the business of celibacy as forced in some instances on the priesthood following on theological narratives by Augustine and others while not realising there would have been disastrous consequences in hundreds of years to come. Celibate priests sought to seek the moral advantage over carnal laity while launching a massive re-commitment to helping the poor; however the unintended consequences still are with us today as the histories prove. Part of the new social activism was schools for poor children ran by priests known as pious schools, the combination of strict clerical celibacy with clergy involved in education made for the fermenting of freaks wearing a frock and a collar being created over time. All this happening while a sustained push to all but silence women in the church and or labelling free thinking women as witches in order to punish them, the published Witches' or Malleus Maleficarum is proof of that misuse of church power and was the guide to priests and inquisition judges that instructed how to effect the punishments. The monopolization of marriage under Pope Gregory VII in 1073 only sought to secure church power over persons while also making women as second class and fattening church coffers.

A historical perspective

In 1600 an honest priest named Joseph Calasanz in Rome started a school also known as the Pious or peerists order from which it was great success for the better part of twenty years, however cracks started to show despite strict rules of engagement in terms of priests who were not allowed or should not be alone at any given period with students. The order of the was supposed to be a deeply austere arrangement where narratives such as the priesthood must be seen angels devoid of all cravings or carnal affection of the flesh and so on. It did not work out as he planned and Calasanz became all too aware of the abuse cases that were on the rise when priests are left alone with the children, mostly boys. In 1629 disturbing reports got to Rome on one of the biggest schools in the network in Naples as the young headmaster was accused of sexual abuse. His name was Stefano Calbrini, fully aware of the damage the order may face if it went public sadly the founder Calasanz succumbed to fear and ordered the whole affair to be hushed up and the documents relating to the matter were burnt.

Instead of removing Stefano from the order he was promoted to visitor general of all the schools effectively removing the culprit from the scene of the crime while simultaneously given him access to more boys. It did not end well, father Stefano conspired to disgrace the founder in the eyes of the Pope and successfully forced the founder out of the order and took his place; it took the pious authorities close to half a century to recover. All this happened despite the leadership being aware of father Stefano’s issue including the Pope but did not anything, this was an extraordinary failure of power and trust, the very people dictating the moral agenda were openly defying it. The abuse of children covered up, denied and excused, the trust of many betrayed. My layman’s look at this is that a man starved or forced to be celibate can only lead to issues later, it’s like non conjugal visits to prisons and over time sexually frustrated men find substitutional sex avenues and psychologies to find a fix on the face of it, the challenge is when a matter becomes a case where control is the motivator and not sex then abuse sets in and victims are repeatedly exposed. As children with the point of least resistance being the main challenge they cannot stand up to their abusers and are left to suffer over time in silence.

Strangely in the present Mrs Collins resignation matter mentioned above she also said in part in a follow-up interview with the BBC:

“One particular area of the Vatican don’t want to cooperate with that work [child abuse matter] and that’s what been so shocking to me that these men still exist in the church; it’s something I like most people before I started working with the papal commission I was under the impression that pope just says do it and it’s done, but I think things are a lot more complicated than that there are ways and means in the curia they have been there for hundreds and hundreds of years as appearing to be amenable to something and actually put stumbling blocks in the way.

I think those men strive on secrecy, that has been the problem with the church all along but these men do these things behind closed doors and nobody gets to know about it; so from my point of view I want to say the commission is working very hard, I’m with them completely behind them and behind the Pope in every effort they make but I think keeping it secret that there is this group of people who are not willing and not of like mind I think that has to be said; I worked on it for three years, I’ve stayed silent on this instance and hindrances put in the way but there comes a point when particularly for a survivor where you see this obstruction there you cannot just accept it and go on because that’s how these things thrive; for people to keep it secret and nothing and then they get away with it.”

When asked about the systematic cover-ups equating her Vatican experience to that globally by church leaders, hierarchy and diocese she responded:

“It echoes for me the attitudes I have seen when I try to bring my abuser to justice here in Dublin twenty years ago; it echoes very clearly the attitudes that I met with in hierarchy here and my own archbishop it totally bring that all back but the church in many areas has learned and has improved and I’m particularly pleased with that I have been asked to continue with the training of new bishops.

There are church people willing and open to understand and to learn and to change, the ones that are not and that are pinning on to old ideas and institutional protections and all these other things they’ve got to be rooted out.

I can’t do it, those in the church themselves have to do it.”

Again I ask how much of that context as outlined by Mrs Collins can be placed in our local makeup in other denominations. Our very own Bishop Reece years ago in an interview had said there was no known case of abuse (see: Archbishop of Kingston Denies Claims That Clergy Members Abusing Alpha Boys or No Reported cases of Paedophilia say local Catholic Diocese Representative Reece from a 2010 interview) and the recently edition of the catholic voice publication mentioned nothing on the ongoing hot matter of clerical abuse or pastoral sexual matters but presented its usual politically correct fluff. For a church that has had so much allegations thrown at it I was expected far better particulars, statements and such as they are good at especially given the usual conflation of paedophilia with homosexuality overall often used as justification to deny any pro gay rights wrapped up in a Levitcal imperative thrust while putting other concerns over the safety of children. 

also see: Pope declares 'zero tolerance' for sexual abuse in Catholic church (Guardian) 2017

Meanwhile in a Gleaner article entitled "Canute Thompson | Confronting The Moravian Sex Crisis" and "Canute S. Thompson | Sex, Church And Power" by a member of the Moravian community suggested some actions to address the matter in his church he said in part from the former entry:

RECOMMENDATIONS TO THE MORAVIAN CHURCH

"A few synods ago, the Church, with the support of National Integrity Action and the Jamaica Civil Society Coalition, held a forum on corruption. That initiative was a welcome one and served to contribute to the image of the Church as a conscious player in an important national debate. The Church has another opportunity: to step up to the plate and show that it has the courage to articulate a commitment to heal not just its internal wounds, but the nation, as it hurts.

Synod 2017 would be a good place to engage in discussions on how the Church can work through the current issues that it faces. Hiding from each other, the public, and our reality is not a solution.

The Moravian Church has a duty to demonstrate to the public that it is serious about dealing with the issues bedevilling it. Speaking only in whispers, praying in generalities, preaching in vague terms, and casting blame will not provide a credible path forward. We have to be willing to confront ourselves and each other patiently and compassionately, yet boldly and honestly.

I offer these additional suggestions for public discussion and for the Church's consideration.

(1) That the Church broaden the terms of reference for the mechanism it has announced to examine the issue of how reports that raise adverse concerns are handled. The terms of reference should include an examination of its decision-making processes at several levels of the organisation to see the extent to which they are subject to checks and balances and capable of providing a trail sufficient for external review.

(2) That the Church seek the assistance of either a committee of the worldwide Moravian Church, or a local group, in reviewing its regulations and constitutional arrangements. The purpose of this review would be to examine whether these regulations and constitutional stipulations make adequate provisions for accountability of various office holders, especially the executive, and whether there is potential for institutionalised protection for abuse of power, violation of due process, and disregard for rules of fairness.

(3) While taking the steps [as suggested in Item (1)], and given that the Church's management of the recent incidents has led the clergy to acknowledge the existence of possible weaknesses, I suggest that the leadership of the Church open recent cases, including those prior to 2016, to review. The purpose of such a review would be to examine whether, in the handling of those cases, the executive followed the relevant procedures or otherwise acted in conformity with the basic rules of natural justice, accountability, transparency, and fairness.

(4) Finally, the church should immediately engage in a series of truth and reconciliation conversations. There are deep issues that go beyond the events of the last few weeks that remain unresolved, and there can be no sustained healing without candid, caring, and courageous truth-telling. The facilitator of such a process should be someone external to the Moravian Church. This person should be highly skilled in the art of healing-facilitation, mediation, and organisational renewal ....."

 Dr Canute Thompson is a member of the Moravian Church in Jamaica. His research interests are in the areas of governance, leadership reimagination, and transformational leadership. Email feedback to canutethompson1@gmail.com.

Trouble with these things and calls for introspection that are often met with snooty rebuffed and ignored, I can identity all too well in that department.

Cover-ups indeed:
Moravian Sex Scandal Deepens - Email Trail Reveals Church Knew Of Sex Allegations Against Pastor (Gleaner)

I run the risk of being criticized yet again of moral equivalence but how can disgraced clergy and pastors claim to speak on moral matters with any credibility? The robust nature of the antigay thrust versus what appears to be a typical expected response is hypocritical to say the least. Several cases are in the courts now I hope the systems can offer good support for victims although I am used to the knee jerk reactions when these waves of abuse come, then something else grabs our attention.

Think on these things

Peace & tolerance

H

also see:

Justified underage sexual abuse in lieu of homosexual sex!

Is the pope serious about confronting child abuse? .... the question of the age 2016

More Pastoral Inappropriateness & Under-aged Victims... Silence from The Selective Religious Anti Gay 2014

Vatican says cover-up accusations due to Pope's opposition to gay rights 2010 

Church members bashed for backing pastor

Two Good Letters on Gay Person-hood & Paedophile Homosexuality Conflation

No Reported cases of Paedophilia say local Catholic Diocese Representative 2010

Another St Thomas Pastor Accused of Rape ........... Where are Anti Gay Religious Groups?

Ephebophilia vs Paedophilia & Male Homosexuality part 2 .... the need to continue the discourse 

Catholic church 'abused 4,400 children'(BBC)

How has the Vatican's responded to child abuse?(BBC)

Pope's reforms polarise the Vatican(BBC)

American owner of missionary orphanage in Haiti arrested for allegedly sexually abusing kids (Observer)

Lesbophobic landlord clash with woman after illegal eviction attempt

The Hagely Park Road area nearing Lewis Villa Drive was the scene of a clash between a woman who had been renting a single bedroom flat on April 23, 2016. The expletives from both sides were what greeted the other tenants and the small cul-de-sac on what would have been a quiet Sunday morning. The landlord has been known to be troublesome overall as he has had clashes before with tenants in general as he is accused of using the proximity of the property to most major business points and shopping zones as he tries to capitalize on the advantage with adhoc rental increases and sometimes impromptu rules and guidelines including demanding two months deposit prior to handing over the keys according to the woman and arguments from others including another former tenant who moved out and is now residing in another house on the same avenue.

The impacted woman had rented the flat from December of last year as she said it aided her to get to school, the area is quiet relatively and the flat was cute given the area it is in; I should know I too used to live near the same avenue for two and a half years. The landlord of the woman would make unannounced visits and asking questions with inane subject matter, then he advised her that the flat water rate she was paying would be increased whilst an electrical problem with an outside light socket having a short-out she had complained about was not fixed as she comes in from work under dark at times and needs light to see, a repair the landlord had promised to address prior to her moving in. The relationship had been slipping slowly over time as the woman became irritated she expressed her displeasure to the man’s unannounced visits when it was not time for rent payments. The landlord according to her did not take kindly to the boundaries she wanted set and it allegedly became the subject of gossip with another woman next door who allegedly told the man the impacted woman did not have a ‘man’

Despite the fact that the woman’s rent was on time save and except for March 2016 which she settled later in the month as it was due of the 3rd of each month she was floored with a surprise notice to quit with no proper explanation as to why she was being asked to quit. The landlord had only had another nasty argument and eviction of a long time tenant of some ten years who hardly was at home given the type of job the man was in yet he too was served with a notice to quit. Many suspect that he is capitalising on the aforementioned proximity to business areas and raising the rent at every cycle with a new tenant. But in this case lesbophobia was clearly a part of the reason as evidenced during the shouting match the man referenced repeatedly with disparaging remarks of the ‘lesbian’ and that fact that she did not have a man; as if to suggest a single woman is an anathema. But the landlord is a senior man estimated in his seventies or older so he may not be ofe with the new dispensation, sinically many surmise that maybe the landlord was trying to make the moves on the woman but he resoluteness and insistence on boundaries was what turned him off.

Interestingly the other residents nearby came in large part to the woman’s defence as the quarrel spilled over onto the avenue; especially from a group of persons who occasionally play dominoes under a tree regularly at the end of the road. The landlord felt justified but it turns out the notice to quit was too short in the required by law as it allotted below the thirty day minimum as the standard. The breach was discovered by the woman and as she showed it to others in the uproar it caused a backlash from the supportive persons who demanded she must not move and if necessary let him take her to court; the courts normally would give an additional thirty days and owing to the fact she has two deposits paid she may be entitled to live them out.

The woman is hunting for a new spot after the argument cooled and a tense calm is now in effect, she has been encouraged to peacefully make her way out of the flat and by extension the situation, the stigmatizing landlord has been bitter ever since as reported back-handed comments have been rumoured but the woman is not perturbed and says she intends to live out her deposit until it expires before moving and is prepared to go to court and explain her situation in fairness.

I wished her all the best in her endeavours and encouraged her to report the matter if it gets out of control to the relevant bodies namely the rent board and other LGBT related outlets if needed.

Peace & tolerance

H

Insensitive Parents & displaced Adolescent MSM part 4

Insensitive Parents & displaced Adolescent MSM

So two more cases of forced evictions have come to hand involving gay males and their parents who simply do not want to endure their own siblings simply due to their sexual orientation and a pervasive homo-negativity that has come to dominate our attitudes towards homosexuality.

The first case involves an 18 year old who is described as slightly effeminate but somewhat soft spoken; he has been meeting some challenges according to him for some time in his younger days at school as his demeanour raised the suspicion level with other classmates. His non participation in male orientated sports such as football and cricket whilst not selecting other sports mostly female oriented sports as an alternative; those being netball or so he was ridiculed sometimes on the grounds as a sissy or too standoffish. Such antecedences are too common place in many crisis interviews with subjects who make reports. His mother had been asking him about a girlfriend similar to my own upbringing and veiled warnings about making sure that he was not funny or being gay.

This case also had a social media element to it as his Facebook profile was supposedly seen by another person close to his mother had been feeding her information that he has several males on his friends list and it looked suspicious. I do not know how many times I have carried entries on this blog and GLBTQ Jamaica of outings due to misuse or poor usage and monitoring of Facebook and other platforms with siblings or strangers who comb through for clues in their eyes about person’s sexual orientation for supposed proof so as to enact their stigma and hate.

The young man was eventually forced to leave the home and was assisted by a professional linked to a youth group who in turn reached out to JFLAG and others. My spare room is already occupied so I could not assist when I was contacted by Aphrodite’s P.R.I.D.E Jamaica APJ who originally handled the case. He has since settled thankfully at a temporary shelter arrangement as is the case these arrangements have expiry dates and how he will fear afterwards is unclear for now. His mother has been engaged but she is impatient to hear any consoling words and is adamant she does not want him back at home ad that he should find his way now he is an adult in her eyes seeing he has now 18 years old. Efforts are still in train to enable some sort of dialogue and re-integration with the mother; other family members are said to be mum with one uncle siding with the mother on the stance she has taken.

Case 2:

19 year old gay male forced to leave after gay nonfiction book was discovered in his bedroom.

In this case a best friend has offered accommodation temporarily as he is pursuing a short course at a skills training institution.

A simple book burrowed from a colleague that has no suggestive photos or such imagery on its cover was scanned by a relative which in turn led to a series or conversations within the family; there was some history before of tense situations with his mother as evidenced in arguments where she would hint that he has no interest in women and she knows. They say mothers always know and by all accounts with regards to this case it is true.

Her repeated hints to the 19 year old made him uncomfortable and as if he spotted the forthcoming doom he had already dropped hints to friends that he wanted to leave the house as he is not so steady. It was that forewarning that made a way open for him so soon as opposed to other cases where persons struggle in the initial displacement or forced eviction. Family member’s reaction since his removal from the home has been mixed; more so negative than positive with one relative residing overseas blasting him by phone claiming that he and his kind want to impose homosexuality as in the US where she lives but Jamaica will have none of that she reportedly shouted at him or words to such effect.

Beds are hard to come by these days as many persons simply clam shut their assistance for newly displaced as the image of homelessness is not so good a near complete dismissal to engage such is the easier way out.

Hope that both cases can be dealt with some long term resolve.

Meanwhile Kingston's Mayor is claiming she has recieved death threats:

Oh boi will this ever be solved? even with all the aspirational social media posts and announcements of projects but no serious answer yet.

In a previous post this video was featured:

Trina Bo$$ Bitch is her own boss, but suffers in a country that has no LGBTQ rights. Find out more on GAYCATION Jamaica tonight at 10pm.
Posted by VICELAND on Wednesday, March 16, 2016

also see:
Ellen Page's Gay Imperialism is Not Activism

Peace & tolerance

H

also see:
Gay homeless return ‘HOME’ … say housing promises were not fulfilled


Insensitive Parents and Displaced MSMs Part III 2011

Accused Gay Killers of Megamart employee still at large

Homeless gays accused of Megamart employee murder

Clash of cruisers & homeless again

Woman assumed to be a lesbian chopped viciously allegedly by neighbour

* sorry for the late post on this but thought it relevant to share it here, originally a Jamaica Observer story on January 4, 2015. As this story shows the ease at which persons can be attacked (in their homes) just by an allegation.

also the case update HERE

A young woman was allegedly chopped by her neighbour just over a month ago, and has, since then, been spending most of her time away from her apartment with friends and relatives, because she no longer feels safe at home.

She told the Jamaica Observer in a recent interview that it is apparent something is wrong, she just does not know what.

"Apparently she has an issue with me, I don't know what it is really. She is making all kinds of assumptions," the victim disclosed. "Because I live in a two-bedroom house with another female, she is automatically assuming that I am a lesbian."

Questioned as to whether there was any truth to the assumptions, she responded: "But me being a lesbian or not being a lesbian has nothing to do with me being chopped and that's what this is about. My sexuality has nothing to do with it, whether or not I am straight or gay, people can assume; I have nothing to say, no comment on that."

The victim told the Sunday Observer that the matter should now be before the courts, but she is questioning whether it is a situation where her case is being stalled, because when she turned up for the initial December 12 court date, she found out that there was no case file.

The situation came to a head on November 21, according to the victim, when she was involved in a tussle with her neighbour, after which she received chop wounds.

She related that everything started on November 16. She said she got into a scuffle with her housemate, who is also her business partner, after which she turned the music in her apartment on. The victim told the Sunday Observer that she heard banging on her door and when she opened it, her neighbour from the apartment in front of hers was standing there.

She said her neighbour complained that her music was too loud, so she turned it off. She said about 15 minutes later, the security guard for the compound knocked on her door and told her that a complaint was made about her music. She said that she then left the apartment and went for a walk, only to return sometime later and was told that the police had also visited her apartment.

"Nothing happened on Monday. Tuesday evening, usually after work I have school. I wasn't feeling well, so I decided that I was going to wait at work a little bit, until my business partner was finished working; we also work for the same company, that's how we got into business together," she explained.

She told the Sunday Observer that when she eventually got to her apartment, which is on the third floor of the compound's fifth block, she was greeted by a high-smelling substance.

"So I reach for the light and I am slipping at the top of the staircase in front of my door, almost burst my face. I turned the light on and there is gasolene or kerosene oil in front of my door and all over the door, not sure what (substance it was), but some high-smelling substance," the victim stated. "At first, I was thinking 'what the hell', until

I noticed the matchsticks and newspaper pushed underneath the door. So, the paper burnt all the way up under the door and there were probably about six or seven matchsticks at the door."

She said by then she was furious, and contacted the landlord and property manager, as well as informed the security guard. The police were also called to the location. She told the Sunday Observer that people living on her block were also upset because their homes would also have been affected if there had been a fire.

"They were saying we need to have a meeting about what was going on," she said. "I understand that there have been some scuffles that probably the neighbours have overheard from my apartment, and my music."

She said she found the situation stressful and decided to take the remainder of the week off from work.

"So I am doing some business, working on my loan company at home, and a client comes over on Friday. As I was about to go downstairs to let him inside (the building), that's when I noticed some white, powdery substance; apparently somebody was trying to get rid of the scent of the kerosene oil or gasolene, so they had poured some powder-like substance on the handle of the door, on the door, in front of the door.

"So I am trying to push the key into the door and there is now a barrier. I can't lock my door to go anywhere now, so if I have to leave my apartment I have to leave my door open. Now, I am a businesswoman, I have my files all up in my house, not to mention my furniture, my electronics, I can't leave my house open. I am worse upset more than ever," said the victim.

She said that up to that point, no one had heard her 'go off' and things just kept on happening. She said that she went downstairs and spoke to the security guard as well as contacted the property manager who told her the matter would be looked into.

She said she was so upset she contacted one of her friends, who is a police officer, who advised her to contact the police.

"I was on my way upstairs and I was so upset I got to my door and I hit my door three times and was like, 'what the hell is all of this? Mi tyad a this, anybody messing with me need to stop it'," she explained, adding that she might have said an expletive in the process.

According to the victim, it was while she was inside her apartment with her client that she heard talking outside her door. She said she opened her door and saw her neighbour speaking to the security guard.

"My door is ajar at this time. My client is in my house. I head towards my kitchen to get some water," she stated. "About two minutes or so, drinking some water doing whatever I am doing... And I hear talking inside my living room.

"This woman is on her phone and she is screaming at me in my kitchen, and she is in my living room," she shared. "So I am like, 'what the hell, what are you doing in my house, get out my house'. The security (guard) was outside my door, just standing there. So, I went over to my door, still with the bottle in my hand because I was shocked.

"I was walking over to her and the woman grabbed me in my chest, inside my living room, tore my shirt down the middle," she continued. "My first response was to throw the bottle, it caught the security on the shoulder, he was standing behind her.

"A fight started and I kicked her out my house... mi never inna nuh fighting mood, is a bigger woman for me, so I am not going to fight her like that, or the way she wanted me to fight her; granted I did hit her back when she hit me," the victim related.

She said she eventually got control of the situation and told the security guard to hold onto her neighbour. By this time, she said her client, who was inside her house, came outside to see what was happening.

"So the security is holding her and pulling her, but she is pulling me, so it's two people pulling me," she explained, adding that she asked her client to hold onto her. She said her client managed to pull her inside her apartment but the neighbour ran up to the door and they had to brace it in order to lock it.

According to the victim, she later heard banging on her door but by this time she had already contacted her landlord and the police.

"I had spoken to the police before, so at this point the fight was done. I had not got injured or anything; we fought, I had a few scratches, she tore off my shirt, but it was done," she insisted.

"I called the police because I wanted them to come and see what was going on at my door, I was tired of it. She put her hands on me, came into my house and started a fight," she continued.

She said when her landlord, who was coming from Harbour View, got to the compound, some time later, this was when she decided to unlock her door and exit her apartment.

"My client comes out ahead of me, I change my clothes and she is standing over there talking to the security guard, cool and calm as ever," the victim recounted. "And as I exit my door, she reaches for something on her little side table, obviously it was there before, and I just saw her coming and before I could think, my first instinct was to run.

"My client started to run and I started to run and as I entered probably about the first two staircases, I heard the security yell out and I turned around to see her coming down with a cleaver, a chopper... she chop me and it was straight underneath my boob, about a four-/five-inch chop on the left side, and I moved my arm and she chopped me in the back of my neck," she continued to relate. "And she was still swinging and I just ran down the stairs.

"All I know is that I am downstairs and I am feeling warm," she recounted.

She said that the police took some time to get to the location but that when they got there, her neighbour allegedly related another story of the incident.

"So that's how I got chopped. An incident that started on Sunday and ended on Friday, and I did not provoke this woman or trouble this woman any at all," the victim insisted.

She said that when she went to court on December 12, she learnt that there was no case file.

"She was not served a summons to come to court, I was informed after going over to the police station to try to get the file, that there has to be a summons issued. But I am wondering, how does she know of the court date and 10:00 am for the time, how do I know about it, if there was no summons?" She questioned initially. "If proper protocol was not followed, how are we aware of all of these things and what happened to the file?"

The case file has since been found and, according to the victim, attempts are now being made to serve her neighbour with a summons.

"I don't understand what I did to this woman for her to feel like she had the right to come into my house... My mindset is out of place, I wake up at 1:00 or 2:00 am in pain," she disclosed. "I look over my shoulder every sound I hear, she doesn't understand what she has done to me."

She is adamant that she will not stop until she gets some justice.

Man chokes woman over alleged lesbian affair, bisexual woman told to leave her home & kids

A man was brought before the court In January 2014 for attacking his woman and choking her after he accused her of having a lesbian affair.

Dwight Henry was arrested and charged with assault occasioning bodily harm after he held down his female companion at their home and squeezed her neck, causing severe pain and swelling.

The court also heard that the complainant could not eat for days because of how swollen her throat was.

When he appeared in court, the complainant said that Henry attacked her after accusing her of cheating on him with the woman and that he was upset she had not told him of her secret woman on the side.

"He accused me, saying I was along with a lady and she and I was having relationship, and then attack me," she told the court.

Henry, however, did not deny her argument and pleaded guilty to the charge and was fined $15,000.

If the fine is not paid, he will serve six months in prison. He has since paid the fine and the matter was to be heard again, she has since removed out of the house reportedly and hopes that the case closes altogether so she can get on with her life

Bisexual woman told to leave her home & kids

Another case of a man who has become supposedly uncomfortable with his female partner's alleged cheating with another woman. The victim who hails from Gregory Park in St Catherine said she told her male that she is bisexual but he agreed none the less to enter into an intimate union none the less provided no other partners affected their romantic union but some sexual contact was allowed.

The semi open relationship had been on for some time as she had a previous same sex union that she ended as the man did not approve of the particular woman in question, she is also the mother of a six year old son from a previous opposite sex union that ended some time ago, the man in question has allegedly contacted the father of the child and is said to be spreading disparaging remarks since this matter has surfaced.

The woman is now distraught as she seeks some redress on the issue and is engaged by a counsellor. 

Such are the challenges for bisexuals or polyamorous persons in Jamaica as time and time again we see issues such as this appearing.

also see a recent post I did on Open Relationships

Butch women interviewed on national television ...... lesbophobia, enlightenment or both?

13 types of Bisexuals, appropriate list or labeling?

Lady Switch Hitters & the Boyfriends who complain .

Peace & tolerance

H

Lesbian construction worker profiled told not to return to worksite

As we do not have enough on our hands already here comes another confirmed report this time in Kingston of a same gender loving sister who hails from my home parish St Catherine and who happens to work on a house construction site in Upper St Andrew who was told nicely by the foreman for the site that to avoid any trouble she should just leave her job as threats and verbal assaults increases, strangely not from her original colleagues who she had become used to but from new persons joining the team as the site building proceeded. 

There are also two other women on the site but they on their part do not supposedly mix concrete or act like one of the guys, in other words "manroyal" (butch acting or identified) they are situated in the cook area carrying out traditional roles. I thought that with the increasing presence of women in non traditional female occupied jobs that this kind of thing would be dying or died out by now. 

Often times same gender loving women in Jamaica do not face the kinds of opposition as their male counterparts do and in fact lesbianism is more tolerated that male homosexuality so much so that some strip clubs openly offer such adult entertainment so much so that a popular dancehall act released a song entitled "I Love Girls Who Love Girls" in the form of the artists Busy Signal, whilst at the same time he has in his repertoire that condemns male homosexuals.

 

Butch Identified women or colloquially known as "manroyals" are usually accepted as one of the boys so to speak and blend in well in Jamaica strange homosocial construct despite high homo-negativity and homophobia but every now and again there is a parting of the ways if you will with outcomes such as this one facing more butch women than soft femme or studs in the scheme of things. The new male employees on the site who lead the appeal to have the woman removed arr reported to be boasting that they chased away a "dutty lesbian" (dirty lesbian) and this is also bearing in mind that she has a child to maintain. The other workers as hinted to above were quite OK at first with her but every since the anti lesbian sentiments became clearer some of the workers joined the call and pressured the foreman who reluctantly asked her to leave as he claimed he wanted no trouble on his site and the work must go on uninterrupted.

It is also subsequently revealed that one of the intolerant men who joined the team is aware of the woman from a neighbouring rival community of the woman so in essence that opposition was the reason to use lesbophobia to show bravado in this case, thankfully it did not turn out to be a violent episode and she can recover as best as she can.

Fortunately the foreman has promised that he would try to find another site for her as she has a reputation in his eyes according to her when we last spoke on the issue then with a fairly large marijuana spliff in her mouth, "....Me cool man" she retorted, as she feels comforted by the foreman's promise. Thanks also to that foreman for forging such an alliance but I wonder had it been a man involved here if the outcome would have been so peacefully resolved?

Women who however break the gender norms and roles in society often as labelled as lesbian especially when they meet the stereotypical benchmarks that are used for profiling persons sexuality. My present garbage collection crew for my housing scheme have two females on board and they are very fortright and no nonsense and handle their male counterparts (if one should stand and observe) as equals. 

Also have a listen to the only known anti butch lesbian song recorded by Beenieman some years back as it seeks to dismiss women who supposedly display masculine aesthetics and behaviour.

also see when you can: The Butch Dynamic/mystique becoming a problem? and Ragashanti suggests JFLAG for job seeking "Butch" lesbian

The Lyrics says it all:

Songwriters: MARSDEN, STEVEN MICHAEL / ROBERTS, PATRICK / JACKSON, GARY / DAVIS, MOSES

Intro: 

Yeh man, mi know she mek yu sick man 

Yu see how she a mek yu a vomit, laugh... 

Yu see it a das why mi tell yu nuh Brethren 

Yu see me Beenie Man mi a go tell yu something 

Hear mi 

Chorus: 

Mi nuh wha nuh Man Royal gal, gal 

Gimmi di gal dem wid di real born serial 

Gal come a dance dress up in a man material 

All in a dress like she a go funeral-al 

Mi nuh wha no Man Royal, gal, gal 

Gimme di gal dem wid di real born serial 

Gal come a dance dress up in a man material 

All in a dress like, wol on 

Repeat 

Verse 1: 

Gal come in a dance an all a walk an al a push 

Call har patel that's exactly how she look 

Gal can't even cook, she all a read out a book 

Every night she an a gal gwan in a bush 

Eeh, cause she a husband crook, wol on 

Gal come in a dance an all a stand up an pose 

A wiggle an a wine up ina people ole clothes 

Yuh draw fi a lighter, an she draw fi a hose 

Cause she no wha bun di clothes 

So sing along 

Chorus 2x 

Verse 2: 

A how she walk, a how she talk, a how she flex 

A just di way mi hear she stay 

Bout she wha look di D.J. 

A itch up an a wine up wid har friend dem 

An di ole a dem a guy 

And mi hear she stay di same way 

Reason why mi hate di Man Royal gal dem 

All ways end up wid nuff ole bwoy friend 

All six, seven, eight, nine, fifteen a dem 

Eeh, wid all a one gal friend, so sing again 

Chorus 2x 

Wol on, wol on, wol on 

Verse 3: 

Anytime mi see dem pon di street affi laugh 

Some gal weh a walk wid all dem head bawl off 

Strong like a samson, like a weight dem pop off 

Mi haffi drw fi mi mask, wol on deh 

Mi know a Man Royal gal name Jone 

Feminine creature full a man harmones 

Last week mi hear Patsy in har love zone, muh 

Mi tell har leave mi alone, an fling a stone 

Chorus 2x 

Mix up, mix up, mix up, time again man 

Also see:
Concerns about labels & abuse towards same gender loving women