On International Family Equality Day #IFED2017

May 1, 2017, marks the fifth celebration of International Family Equality Day, a day to celebrate families all over the world where one or both parents identify as LGBTQ. It usually runs for sixteen days and culminates on IDAHO day. Last year, 67 cities across 32 countries had celebrations to honor their local “Rainbow Families” and this year, hopefully more do so.

Jamaica parents as guardians or as persons with children from a previous relationships anecdotally have been doing pretty well, a couple cases over the year parents coming out to their children sometimes while disucssing the 'birds and the beez' have worked out well as the children seem to understand.

Though each community can throw its own event or party, some LGBTQ families celebrate on a smaller scale with a private family dinner. Regardless of how International Family Equality Day is celebrated across the world, LGBTQ families deserve recognition and a day to be proud of their families and the progress we have made.

Here’s why:

Brings awareness to LGBTQ family rights.

Only 24 countries allow for same-sex marriage with Colombia being the most recent to legalize gay marriage. With 195 countries in the world – 24 is not a significant number. Though LGBTQ couples don’t necessarily have to be married to have children in all countries, marriage allows for certain rights and protections for their family and kids. By celebrating International Family Equality, it’s bringing awareness to the many countries across the world who don’t recognize LGBTQ families or provide them with basic rights, such as marriage, that their straight counterparts receive. Rights include the ability to marry, adopt, equal healthcare access, birth certificate recognition, access to fertility treatments or surrogacy, and many more.

It is often harder for LGBTQ parents to create their families.

As an LGBTQ parent, you understand the time, commitment, and financial struggle it took to create your family. LGBTQ parents have to go through countless fertility treatments, rigorous adoption or surrogacy processes, step parent and second parent adoptions, and much more to have a child. Because of this, LGBTQ parents deserve a day in which they can be reminded how all that time, possible stress, and hard work was totally worth it.

Visibility can bring positive results.

Though the numbers of LGBTQ families are increasing, there are still many communities and aspects of the media in which LGBTQ families are not represented. With International Family Equality Day, there’s a focus on LGBTQ families on social media, in the media, and out in public during public events. Visibility fosters so many positive results such as acceptance and education, as well as making it clear to the world: LGBTQ families are here.

Children deserve a day to celebrate their parents and their family.

The great thing about the events surrounding International Family Equality Day is that these events usually involve fun, interactive activities for children. When children are taken to these events by their LGBTQ parents, they are able to see other families like theirs being celebrated, thus creating a sense of pride for their family.

A chance to meet other LGBTQ families.

In some communities, it may be difficult to connect with other LGBTQ families. International Family Equality Day brings together a number of LGBTQ families at their celebratory events allowing for families to mix and mingle and hopefully, form new friendships.

Enjoy your Family Equality Day

Peace & tolerance

H

Objectives of Parents Month indeed with LGBTQI children invisibility ..........

November is Parents Month, which has been observed annually since 2000. As per usual the omission of LGBT families and or children was evident yet again this year. In addition, the Ministry of Education, in 1991, designated March 10-15 as Parents' Week, using the theme: You can make a difference to your child's education.

An series of extended radio discussions by mostly the parent teachers associations, religious leaders and others only sought to reinforce the exclusion in their ideas of a perfect world, namely Reverend Clinton Chisholm and others; they want to supposedly 'purify' the stream as is in their eyes LGBTQI children are an anathema. 

The objectives of Parents Month for this year include:

To celebrate and recognize the achievements of our parents and guardians

To create opportunities for parents to further develop their parenting skills

Support the strengthening of the home-school relationship

To encourage our men to be more involved in the role of parenting

To remind our youth that parenting is a serious responsibility that should be undertaken only by prepared and mature adults

To encourage parents to join the PTA so that they too can have a voice in the transformation of the education system and the running of schools

To develop an awareness in parents that they are their child's first teacher so they should be good examples and mentors to ALL children

To encourage communities and ALL adults to protect our children, support parents in their role and be partners in the raising of children

To promote family life and health education in schools, as preparation of tomorrow's parents begins with the education of children

Create networks among parents for their own support and that of their children and the schools the children

Inform parents of the material and human resources that are available to help them to become effective parents

Nowhere in the mix is anything was any reference to LGBTQI kids save and except for the reparative therapy ambit. Children can be broken as it were once they display any non conforming behaviour and then we expect unity!

Buoyed by the Trump win some of these religious fanatics are more emboldened to support anti LGBT sentiments while ignoring the open misogyny by the said presumptive President then they also ignore the disgraceful nude parading of his THIRD wife; they claim God is using Trump to change the status quo and gay marriage in the USA will be defeated despite a Supreme Court judgement.

The general tenets of the objectives are noble but we are now in a different day and age and they MUST be way more inclusive than before.

Think on these things

Peace & tolerance

H

FAME FM’s ‘Uncensored’ radio show conflates homosexuality, paedophilia with transgenderism

Firstly thanks to my bredren Gary for calling my attention to it via phone as I caught the show some twenty minutes into it on April 27 but I gleaned enough for me to arrive at the title of this post. I do wish that when radio discussions planned these kinds of shows/topics that some basic research is done especially in this age of information as this is not the dark days of old. These kinds of discussions (mostly uninformed ones) can end up being counter-productive despite their noble intent upon production but by the time one gets into the studio on the other side of the glass it turns in another direction. Some contact with LGBT voices locally would be nice and a clear separation of homosexuality, transgenderism and abuse is clear so that the public does not walk away with old perceptions almost getting some confirmation thus cementing old hardened positions hence resistance to change ones mindset.

An occasional caveat would have been nice to show a clear difference between gay children (as the topic was about) versus transgender during the show so that listeners have no doubt as the minutes went by.

The clash between the hosts on LGBT advocacy bullying and gay men wanting to be women at the end of the show is the part that made me most uncomfortable; the presence of Tiana, a transgender voice now living overseas and who worked with my sister organization Aphrodite’s PRIDE Jamaica however was the saving grace but had I been not so enlightened like members of the public I would have walked away thinking gay men want to be women (an old perception that drives fear and loathing tied with effeminacy/homophobia) and that homosexuals for all intents and purposes act like girls or the greater subtext want to be opposite sex only via sex itself.

The topic was about “What would you’d do if your child was gay?” but by the time it got to where I tuned in all kinds of suppositions about beastiality being normal were professed by some of the panelists including a reverend gentleman. The other saving grace was the presence of a psychologist from the UK who spoke to Jamaica’s unique unease towards sexual orientation and that in the UK such phobia and abuse especially when it gets physical can be dealt with via laws and court action as opposed to no such coverage here. Co-host Colin Hines (who always whenever chance he gets claims he is not in support of homosexuality) took exception to the Psychologists comments by suggesting she and others were implying normalcy in homosexual expression or existence and words such as abnormal, demons and paedophiles came forth in the short exchange prior to her departure from the show.

Dr Gemma Givan Child Psychologist from the UK said for example in response to a question on the experience in her country “.....we promote everyone being able to have the same rights as everybody else regardless of their sexual orientation is or their gender is; so we've grown up as law; we’re not allowed to discriminate against anyone; we get sent to jail we get fines, so our is more multi-cultural so it based everybody no matter what you believe, what religion, where you are from, what your culture is; everyone is on the same line, whereas in Jamaica the law is attached to the church and because of what people believe in the Bible influences their idea of what should be and what shouldn't.”

Colin Hines asked “So Christianity is a factor?” to which Dr Gemma Givan responded “Right, yea ‘cause there is very little competition with religion here unlike in other countries.”

As expected the conflation between paedophilia, beastiality, child abuse and same gender sex came forth as always those who oppose homosexuality recline in the comfort of old perceptions of predatory intent (outside of wanting to be women) by adults while not understanding or refuse to get acquainted with the information that denotes the difference. Reverend Jason Downer a panelist and from MUGAVA Men Under God Against Violence & Abuse claiming to be speaking as a parent said among other things when asked about his 6 year old daughter declaring she is a lesbian in later life what would he do?:

“God forbid if she comes to me with that ....... I wouldn't want that; Even any parent who are homosexual let’s say same sex union they don’t wanna, most of them you talk to they don’t want their child to have to experience that”

“It’s the demon weh me a tell yug ‘bout” (It’s the demon I am telling you about) another panelist shouted immediately following that comment.

Reverend Downer continued that being a counselor he would not be shocked as he knows there are other factors influencing sexual orientation. Yet it seems the goodly Reverend with all his knowledge and exposure seems locked into the notion of same gender sex and abuse as one as opposed to separating the issues. He says he has counselled 14/5 year olds but he expects her to show “signs” so he can address it. Obviously he was going to the response of reparative therapy but redeemed himself of sorts when he said he would not put out his child. “I don’t condone homosexuality one bit but I love and respect my child anyway” he claims yet he was the one later in the discourse who brought up the futuristic call for beastiality rights and fears by religiosity as being punished for speaking out against the ‘lifestyle.’ Let us remember this man also was introduced as a psychologist/counselor.

One of the parents on the panel when asked by co-host Colin Hines about their sexual orientation being “abnormal or what frightens them?” (While infusing the procreation ambit) to which a gentleman responded that he would be worried about his own reputation and the perception of others looking on to suggest he may have been the one who introduced homosexuality to his child so it somehow rubbed off. This old perception is another one of the challenges that has created a wall of resistance in LGBT advocacy as if to suggest homosexuality is contagious or has ill-intent by those so described as gays. He continued “.....the public shame (egged on by Colin Hines) that ridicule almost like, what if he saw his father doing things? Why him dis, why him dat? (Why is he this or why is he that way?) Reverend Downer concurred that many Jamaican men also think that way. The parent continued that he is looking on his son and seeing how unfortunate the situation is for him because his life is not going to be the same; there is no normalcy again; it’s gonna be a difficult road he does not want him to traverse.

The suggestion of danger and future abuse us hinted there or predatory behaviour by such other individuals being laid at the feet of gay men, “I don’t want my son to go through that,” was his line that made some sense as homo-negativity has had its effects as evidenced in attacks and so on. “I will have to have sessions as to how to be a man, how boys must be in classes ... it seems to me listening how some persons are accepting to it talk, it’s OK man if he wants to let him do it. .... Open the door show them that they can try a guy if they want; if girls don’t work out, try a guy.”

“So not being grandfather worries you?” asked co-host Colin Hines to which the parent answered yes, there suggesting again the procreation imperative often used by those who supposedly oppose homosexuality as fodder for justifying it.

Tiana during the Aphrodite's PRIDE Jamaica/GLBTQ Jamaica  Seizmic workshop in 2013/4 photos I had taken more HERE as well or Seizmic Project Here, she now lives in the US

It was at that point that Tiana was brought into the discussion; she handled herself pretty well and made the point that she and her father now have a steady relationship in terms of understanding as her mother had passed away prior to that her and her father did not communicate for several months. She brought the historical context of her childhood and being teased or told to ‘man it up’ While I appreciate her intervention to very timing of it helped in my view to skew the exchange in a totally different direction riding on the subtext that gay men want to be women. Tiana was asked by Colin Hines for example if she had done the ‘transformation’ or re-assignment surgery to which she responded no. She gave her high school experience and the ‘man-up’ demands and her constant questioning of why she was like that? Or cry in private, she also stressed she was not abused or introduced by some abusive trigger.

“...... just to be clear it’s not that you were exposed to homosexuality at a young age, you were molested because people tend to think; that is one of the reason somebody can’t be naturally this way; something must have triggered it; do you think you had a trigger or from you know yourself this has been how you feel? Asked by co-host Krystal Tomlinson who while I understood where she was coming from or trying to accomplish unfortunately conflated homosexual curious with gender identity searching and understanding thus the subtext here again is a dangerous one as it suggest gay men are want-to-be women. Drop that unto the backdrop of the fear of the feminine we can now understand why the loathing and abhorrence of homosexuality is well defined in our culture and psyche. Tiana nicely put the homosexual paedophile intent or the overzealous protection of the young imperative by some (not that it is not needed but in context) to rest though but would it have resonated may yet to be unproven.

“From I knew myself this is how I have always felt; nothing; no molestation; nothing triggered anything.” Tiana responded. When asked about coming into acceptance of herself and how her parents dealt with it she said that society places pressure on persons like her even as parents accept it but scared for her safety prior to departing Jamaica. She clarified the re-assignment surgery conundrum and when asked by Colin Hines about her male genitalia she responded yes she still has same. She went on to relate her relocation and the discrimination that still exists but far less and laws protect or remedy such discrimination when it occurs. Then came another question that had me a bit queasy as posed by co-host Krystal Tomlinson: “Here is the big question now Tiana, would you want your child to be born gay, is it something you want the child to experience?” while I understand the context of the topic was such again the subtext is a female cisgender imperative being implied here. Tiana responded “Um, alright (hesitation I guess realising she is not gay but transgender) I have no control over that but from a realistic standpoint ...... at a tender age I wouldn’t want for my child to even .... um ... I don’t know what to say ..... I don’t think I would want my child to be born gay ‘cause the discrimination that he or she will face is crazy and if that person doesn’t have a strong mindset then that’s why you have most cases of suicide.”

Colin Hines asked her if she had a desire to have kids? Tiana responded she may adopt. Krystal Tomlinson then went on to suggest that hearing Tiana’s voice for many persons was a shock (again the subtext is gay men want to be girls which is worlds apart from transgenderism) while admitting she did not know the technical or appropriate term to describe the situation as Tiana being biologically male sounding female, identifying as female and eventually would like to make a transition. “People find it hard to grasp” claimed Krystal Tomlinson but the original discussion was about “What would you’d do if your child was gay?” not whether someone is gay wants to do re-assignment surgery or is transgender which is where the conflation intended or not delays the understanding process. Tiana went on the however said she is comfortable with herself but we must remember she is not gay but transgender.

One of the panelists asked Tiana at what age did she know she was a girl? Tiana’s answer “Let me say ....... at around eight, four, five;” another question came up “How were you certain you were not just bi-curious or searching?” Tiana answered “No, it wasn’t even any sexual thing or anything I just used to put on my mother’s clothing; her heels and everything and when I looked in the mirror I just always saw this girl; you know you can picture yourself; whenever I picture myself I picture myself as a girl.”

“Why am I to think that you were playing misguided dress up?” (again the subtext is abnormality is implied) asked another panelist and urged on by Reverend Downer “As many boys do,” Tiana responded “Because that outside appearance was, my physical appearance was of a male at first but whenever I thought about myself mentally I saw a girl.” Krystal Tomlinson got the point when she asked “it’s not just about the dress and the shoes it’s how you think of you?’ Tiana replied “It is not about the dressing up, the shoes, the makeup and stuff or anything is it how I think of myself and how I feel.”

Reverend Downer asked if she was attracted to males or females.

Tiana said she is attracted to males. That answer in essence highlights the other problem within transgender identity and such persons being lost or overlooked in the gay or MSM communities as they are often seen as drag queens. Let us also bear in mind Tiana has entered and won several drag show competitions in Miss LGBT World, Dancehall Queen & was seen as a drag queen until she became a public face for transgender advocacy in my days as DJ/promoter on the circuit.

Then came the descent into madness as I see it where a clash ensued for some six minutes plus on or about parents being fine with knowing their children are gay in US as opposed to Jamaica. The fear of the future came in when Reverend Downer parachuted the beastiality bit or normalization of homosexuality in children via mainstream media. Krystal raised a point about abnormality and that it (homosexuality) is becoming normal in the eyes of the viewer because of exposure via social media etc and the supposed story of transgender walking with Jesus in Bethlehem. One thing I have learned in these discussions never ever, ever bring in the Bible or theological references when one cannot justify it or is informed as it would descend into chaos. That was precisely what occurred in the shouting match that followed.
Krystal Tomlinson found herself in a philosophical and theological bind as she tried to differentiate choice, beastiality, consent and paedophilia versus morals with co-host Colin Hines for the most part. She was further incensed as I was when the paedophile construct was parachuted into the mix by one of the panelists (who were hardly named), Krystal made her point “........ don’t use paedophilia ‘cause it takes away the rights of a child ....... use adult examples; use permissible adult examples where one person can consent with another person; don’t deliberately blur the lines; clearly an animal cannot consent to anything with a human being; really a child cannot consent with an adult, so I am talking about two adult choosing to do something because you say they have the right to ....... (Shouting between herself and Colin) it can’t be rape either (came through the high decibels) ...... let’s keep it within consensual bounds people; if you say consenting adults have a right to choose what they do with their body how then can you stand to lambaste them for exercising a choice that doesn't take the right away from any other person?

Colin Hines latched onto the free speech suffocation victim ploy when he asked “Are you suggesting that I no longer have the right to critique?” to which Krystal answered: “Critique is different from lambasting, critique is separate from ostracism.” Colin defended his position: “You’re talking about degrees of comparison here.....” suggesting semantics by Krystal. She reminded him of his sojourn aided by the Reverend Downer where he said words to the effect that we were entering into a dark time (apparently prior to my tuning in) and the world is coming to an end.

“ ......A man choosing to do something we’re descending into beastiality; terms like those suggest that somebody exercising a choice has taken them on a wrong road; but if they don’t have the choice .... If what they do ....” Colin interrupted by saying “But nobody is precluded from being judged; nobody is!?”

Krystal answered “No. Judgement and judging are two different things,” which she repeated with resolve. “The judgement and the slippery slope; going down into animals, humans having sex with animals and the world coming to a dark end, people are deliberately blurring the lines ..... That’s judgmental.” Reverend Downer responded “The basis on which I make my point as I said before from earlier on understanding spiritual realities because I cannot speak about it in any other way, Tiana can speak to how she feels and that experience he or she has; I don’t have that, you understand? ....... I know from growing up socializing how I feel as a boy and there are certain things you do as male with the opposite sex and not with my sex...”

Colin interjected “Do we know what is right or wrong anymore?” piggy backing on the religious imperative with the implied sodomatical abhorrence based on a misread of the Leviticus book and those holiness codes designed for a peculiar people at that time. Colin continued to trump the victim card of stifling of freedom of speech of those who oppose homosexuality. Reverend Downer then landed the Sodom & Gomorrah line “That slippery slope is that spiritual slippery slope that cause God fi bun up Sodom & Gomorrah (that caused God to destroy Sodom & Gomorrah) that is the slippery slope that I am talking about.” Here we see the deceptive card of the justification of anti gay views based on the destruction of Sodom for exclusively homosexuality when that was not the reasons in hindsight. The socialization challenges tied in with economic issues including corruption, piracy, slavery and so on. Was the destruction of the city a scientific phenomenon via meteorite showers or actually an extraordinary heavenly event is yet to be properly determined.
Krystal Tomlinson responded that he was being disingenuous and that hysteria and extreme views to justify opposition is dishonest (I am in total agreement there) “Leave them to choose what they want to choose.” She said, she also claimed that she does not support homosexuality but persons must be free to choose. Colin claims that she is telling others how to think.

So here we have another show in earshot of thousands of Jamaicans and others online and the true gist of the topic gets lost in the haze as per usual.

I guess in hashing out the issues we have to endure some of this but as I said in my introduction we are in the information age, all one has to do is research and approach matters from an informed place.

Peace and tolerance

H

Kicked Out! Lesbian told to leave home by father as he can’t stand the site of her

Another case of stigma by appearance and perceived sexual orientation

As more reports come in of problems in the home and communities based on supposed abhorrence predicated on perceived sexual orientation I am a bit concerned as the response systems also seem not to be working in as far as formal LGBT ones are concerned, the lesbian in question did make a report at the insistence of a gay friend and she attempted to do so to an advocacy group but all they seem to have done is collect the report by phone and then no major follow up by them; instead she had to be calling them for what to do next or for further engagement and evidenced by her frustration as she reaches out for advice and some financial intervention.

One hopes that the stipend arrangements for such cases I had redesigned are still in place to assist such individuals or least tweaked for persons who find themselves in such challenges as this one. Fine that reports are being taken but the follow up and closure outside of asylum is still an administrative hiccup it seems.

The matter like most others these days came to my attention via social media which positively affects actions to closure and crisis reporting and a rather lengthy text message from an intervening party who was also included in the social media linkage and at whose house the 22 year old evicted lesbian is staying temporarily. She is also not fully employed which like similar displacement/forced eviction cases makes recovery difficult as support systems as in this community based assisted shelter response the person being assisted is left to the mercy of the kindness (however long it can last or is offered) of that time.

The 22 year old woman who hails from Manchester has been having a series of arguments with her father, according to the young lady who allowed me sharing the matter says her father would repeat a certain line in his rebuttals or rebuke that he cannot stand the site of her as if to send a subtle message that she had to go without saying it in so many words.

Matters came to a head however over the Christmas holidays in 2014 after a gathering at the house of family members and afterwards another one of those sporadic arguments commenced and continued according to the distraught lesbian far longer than usual as was due to her mode of dress for the evening as she was in a white suit presenting as semi butch, the shirt she claimed to have worn was mans and this did not sit well with her father; he claimed at the time it was inappropriate and that as his daughter she was to have presented herself better to the other family members who by the way outwardly do not really express any sign of abhorrence when I asked her if she felt such from them. Sometimes one can get signs from them as well which can suggest how far the rejection of lesbophobia as in this case has spread or is spreading.

The relationship according to the lesbian which was already tense changed for the worse over time and the final blow came in another holiday just ended in Easter interspersed with arguments and standoffs, he then told her the damaging words as usual and issued the ultimatum, his fears according to him was compounded by a revelation that neighbours and others were talking about his manroyal daughter and how she wanted no man.

“Mi nuh want nuh raasclaat manroyal round me, dutty gal......” (I want no [expletive] man royal around me, you dirty girl) the emphasis on ‘manroyal’ is crucial and has factored in previous cases of lesbians and transmen mistaken as lesbian presented aesthetically with masculine features. This hatred of the masculine present in biologically born females is substantiated by songs such as Beenieman’s Man Royal claiming he does not want to seen with such identified or looking persons. So our women also are profiled in this awful misunderstanding of sex, sexual identity and sexuality; a lack most visible in our school systems for several generations hence in part the ignorance playing itself out as in this case in family and community challenges.

He also allegedly went as far as to suggest she should find a man and have a sex life as if to imply some corrective sexual action would hetero-normalise her orientation and by extension her look, a suggestion that has also factored in cases I have seen during my time at JFLAG’s crisis intervention’s desk and via reports to my blog links and so on.

Thanks to the informal crisis shelter assistance from a young man in Porus Manchester for now and she is talking to a cousin in another parish to relocate and find an online job with PPL Register as I suggested to her in a subsequent conversation by phone. There are other stories and unconfirmed reports that I and others are tracking as the traditional spike that occurs when LGBT matters are most public seems evident yet again. Owing to a most public of them all and a shot in visibility by no less a person than the US President during his visit to Jamaica while positive in one sense has a price for some of our brothers and sisters but sometimes inevitable martyrdom is unavoidable, even if LGBTians do not necessarily subscribe to the cause of the struggle they may be affected by the spin offs positive or negatively from same.

As more displacements occur islandwide the trends seem to be suggesting more same gender loving women are factoring as victims and are older as well, just a basic scan islandwide which I attempted in late 2014 proved to me there is a challenge for the population overall and there is hardly any funding for family preservation or re-integration work just now. I am not sure if Obama’s visit will assist or change that department. Our New Kingston group friends have since scattered after the police removal in December 2014 and the outcome presented itself via a brawl just some days ago as one of them was accused of stealing a phone and another phone stealer was sentenced in a dubious case. Other minor clashes with the public have been reported as well but unconfirmed, since the dubious closure of a pilot project in 2009 the welfare and haphazard social issues that attend to MSM/Transgender displacement/homelessness have skyrocketed.

Also see my last post on MSM eviction that I was able to confirm:

Hope this sister keeps her head up and builds from this temporary fall.

Peace and tolerance

also see:

Outcomes when offering community based shelter for displaced gay/bi brethren

KSAC working to clear streets of homeless people, will the LGBT populations be assisted as well?

Housing Minister seeks funds for Shelter from NHT Money ....... Will the LGBT Homeless be Assisted?

More Jamaican LGBTQ displacements & homeless challenges in 2014

Pirates' Cove named as base for "homosexual prostitutes" KSAC asked to address homelessness by UDC

Some good news on the homeless front ..... guarded and waiting 2012 ( and I am still waiting)

Some considerations ..... would you assist someone who has been displaced ? 2011 

or the podcast I had done at the time

H

European and German high courts rule same-sex couples are regular parents

Today two high courts in Europe ruled in favour of same-sex couples adopting children. Both judgments make clear that lesbian and gay couples provide children the same safety and stability as heterosexual couples do.

 

In the first decision, the Strasbourg-based European Court of Human Rightsconsidered the case X and others v. Austria. The court deemed that

the Austrian Government had not provided any evidence to show that it would be detrimental to a child to be brought up by a same-sex couple or to have two mothers and two fathers for legal purposes.

The court’s highest chamber ruled that since unmarried different-sex couples could adopt one another’s children under Austrian law, there was no valid reason to prohibit same-sex couples from adopting one another’s children.

In today’s second decision, Germany’s Federal Constitutional Court came to the same conclusion, decreeing that successive adoption ought to be open to same-sex couples under the same conditions as different-sex couples (although joint adoption remains unavailable).

Ulrike Lunacek MEP, Co-President of the LGBT Intergroup, commented: “These timely rulings confirm what we have known for decades: LGBT people already live in families and have children, and are equally good families in comparison with heterosexual couples. Our children are loved, and grow up in stable families.”

“They do, however, remain victims of society’s intolerance towards their parents. Today’s court cases will lead to a better life for families with lesbian and gay parents in Germany, Austria, and the rest of Europe.”

In recent days, Turkey’s Deputy Prime Minister Bekir Bozdağ had announced Turkish diplomats would be asked to retrieve Turkish children placed in same-sex families in European countries.

In reaction, Vice-President of the LGBT Intergroup Sophie in ‘t Veld MEP declared: “These rulings should help put Mr Bozdağ’s mind to rest: gay and lesbian families are just the same as any other families.”

“Same-sex couples have been legal parents for the past 12 years in the Netherlands, and of course in twelve years there has been no conclusive evidence that this harmed children in any way. I hope more EU countries will now follow suit.”

Additionally:

Germany's highest court has extended gay adoption laws to bring them in line with rules that apply to heterosexual couples. Judges ruled that existing laws were discriminatory.


The Federal Constitutional Court in Karlsruhe overturned a ban on Tuesday on so-called "successive adoptions" for gay couples in civil partnerships.

Under the ruling, if one partner has adopted a child, the other partner now has the right to become the adoptive mother or father of that child as well. Until now, they could only adopt their partner's biological child.



This aspect of adoption law had previously only applied to heterosexual couples; a distinction which the Karlsruhe court said went against Germany's basic law and was therefore unconstitutional.

It ruled that same-sex couples could provide for a child as well as couples in a traditional marriage.

"In marriage as in a civil partnership, adoption provides the child with legal security and material advantages in terms of care, support and inheritance law," presiding judge Ferdinand Kirchof told the court.

The ruling followed a legal challenge from a woman who was forbidden from adopting a Bulgarian-born child whom her female partner had adopted.

Tuesday's decision does not alter legislation, however, which forbids same-sex couples jointly adopting a child. They may still only adopt the same child on an individual basis.

Germany legalized civil partnerships in 2001, but in spite of recent rulings in Britain and France, has not yet moved to allow same-sex marriage.

ccp/kms (dp
a, AFPD)

Shirley Richards & The Jamaican UK Foster Parents (The Johns) on Love 101 FM ............. on buggery

Mr and Mrs Johns (Above) had said they could not tell a child homosexuality was an acceptable 'lifestyle'

A Christian couple opposed to homosexuality had lost a battle over their right to become foster carers earlier this year in the UK.

Eunice and Owen Johns, 62 and 65, from Derby, both Jamaicans who moved to the UK said the city council did not want them to look after children because of their traditional views.

The pair, who are Pentecostal Christians, say they were "doomed not to be approved". they appeared alongside Lawyers' Christian Fellowship spokesperson anti sodomy laws decriminalization advocate Shirley Richards. The topic of discussion aired on the Love FM 101 weekly program sponsored by the Jamaica Theological Seminary was the recent comment and or threat by the United Kingdom Prime Minister David Cameron on the withdrawal of aid to countries who do not remove or repeal anti sodomy/buggery laws on their books.

Miss Eunice Johns one half of a Jamaican couple who have lived in the United Kingdom for just over forty years said that the couple wanted to continuing running their foster care activity while they were full time employed in total they fostered around fifteen children from the early nineties. They had another business outside of that which was short lived so in 2006 the couple decided to foster care as a business but when they went to sign up and go through the legal wranglings they were naive to the sexual orientation law, " ...we didn't know there was a sexual orientation act ...." she continued " we were so naive and so is a lot of Christians, we seem to think that politics has nothing to do with us, well politics has everything to do with us because its affecting us as parents, we applied to foster just to be told we had to go the line of an assessment and while we were going down there was a question, no it wasn't a question it was a scenario, they the, the social worker er um put a scenario to us she said, what if a child of eight comes to you and tell you they were homosexual what would you tell them? so I said I don't think a child of eight would know their sexuality but they said yes, so I said well I couldn't tell a child of eight that it is alight to be homosexual, she said you would have to, you would have to tell children it's alright to be homosexual because these issues that children has when you do not explain to them what is happening and then it can mess them up later life. 

So I said morally and spiritually as a Christian I couldn't tell a child it's alright to be homosexual and we left it there, but this social worker was dominant that she really wanted me to say that it's alright, she even told us that even if we got through the foster care we couldn't take the children to church, we couldn't take them to church either so that's another thing and we have to tell them it's alright, so later on we decided then we didn't want that social worker anymore because we didn't like the route this was going, cause we didn't know there was a sexual orientation act, she told us later on of course and so we went to a panel and the panel, we told the panel our story that as Christians we can foster children but we cannot tell them it's alright to be homosexual cause we don't believe it ourselves so we would be telling a lie and then said, they thanked us for coming and then later on it was about two weeks later we got a letter saying thank you for withdrawing your application."


Mr. Johns was asked to add to the above and he continued that he felt bad after looking after three generations he explained how the fostering worked, He said when the orientation matter was raised he said although they were bible believing Christians they would have worked with the social worker however the law was brought in through the back door in 2006.

Shirley Richards past President of the Lawyers' Christian Fellowship, LCF when asked about her point of view she began by saying that people were clamoring to do what they want to do in the privacy of their bedrooms but the host interjected that the current Prime Minister Andrew Holness said that what happens in private has public effects to which Miss Richards agreed: 

"Absolutely, it is naive to think that is all that is wanted, in every country and you know we have one learned QC (Lord Anthony Gifford) who mentioned Ireland that in Ireland um the anti sodomy laws were repealed by his interventions but the same very thing is happening in Ireland in every country in which these laws have been repealed what has happened is that um Christians are being impacted and so for example in the United Kingdom the Catholics have had to close down their adoption agencies (host interjects - "cause they are against the whole thing of telling children ...") what I find interesting about the Johns that they didn't realize the world around them was changing until they came in contact with the system. (host - "so the system can be very big? so you realize that Christians in Jamaica and outside of and not only Christians but others who are necessarily for if they are not aware of what is happening the thing can come on us overnight and you don't even know")

Eunice Johns agreed: "it came to England overnight, we didn't realize cause we had fostered before we had fostered 15 children we didn't know about the new sexual orientation act."

The host of the program before going to the break set up the stage for the discussion hinting to the effects on countries who have "legalized homosexuality" she also tried to present a tolerance card by saying "we are not talking about people shouldn't have their rights, we not going against people who shouldn't have their rights but what would legalization do in Jamaica, would it prevent the paedophiles from buggering our little boys?"

After the break it was instructive to hear the host of the program mention in a question she posed describing us as "The homosexuals" and "The Gays and lesbians" she said that persons were touting for the legalization of homosexuality. She again after the break repeated her stance on her version of tolerance, "I just want to make it very clear here we are not by any chance saying that if anybody knows of anybody who is involved in homosexuality they should be destroyed, they should be beaten, they should be mobbed, I've had to work with persons like that," Shirley Richards concurred "In fact we want to say that that type of response is absolutely wrong (host - "exactly") and we want to condemn it" (host - "if you know of anybody at all it is not in your right to call out for anything and want to make that very clear.") Ms Richards ended "Absolutely" The host continued in saying she lectures on mental issues and she drew inference to suicides, mental problems, HIV/AIDS high incidence and relationship problems in the same gender loving community in countries where homosexuality is legalized.

Mrs. Shirley Richards answered the following: "....one point I need to make though is that what our law penalises is anal penetration, you know, it's sodomy which is penalised by our laws in Jamaica, there is no law saying, you nuh the law just goes straight to that."

The host however either not understanding what was pointed out by Miss Shirley or that was a gratuitous move repeated a question posed before imputing that homosexuality is illegal, "Would legalizing homosexuality prevent paedophiles, because I've heard the report on the news the victims support unit that many of the little boys age 12 years old they need therapy, would would legalizing this stop anything like that?"

Shirley Richards responds: "I can't see why, I can't say that there is any direct correlation between the repeal of that law and a lessening in the incidence of abuse of minors, I can't see why, I can't see that logically that would follow, I really can't see it, what is needed is for these people, these men to be brought to justice, you know as you mentioned there is still a problem in these countries, look um there is a football coach who was who was, who was fired from his job what was it? at University of Pennsylvania, you know in a country in which there is no sodomy law, there are no sodomy laws in the states of the US and um just recently just a couple days ago he was found guilty of having molested a number of children over the years so to say that if you repeal the buggery law that the incidence of child abuse in this particular area would go down I can't see that that would necessarily follow because it still happens in these countries in which there is no such law."

The host posed a question to the Johns who were present in studio as well: "Mr & Mrs Johns would it then mean like in Britain a man can marry a man a woman can marry a woman then who would have the children? (all laughing) Mrs Johns: "yes I know" Mr. Johns: "It's happening already, a law is coming like Elton John for instance, you know." (host - "so women soon can't find husbands,come let's talk") Mrs. Johns continued: "well yes that what happen and the Bible says go out and replenish two men cannot do that neither can two women so you know that where we know it's wrong, it is wrong the Bible tells us first and foremost that it is wrong, alot of people sometimes say that this is old testament it tells you quire clearly in the new testament that it is wrong for two man to sleep together, two men and two women to sleep together, you know cause you cannot have children, two men cannot have children and two women cannot have children."

Shirley Richards interjects: "You know what too Mrs. White (the host's name called for the first time) what they need to explain to Jamaica David Cameron needs to explain to the Jamaican people you see is why is it HIV/AIDS is still, is out of control (host - "in the countries in which...yes yes") in those countries .. maybe they need to reinstate the law (host - "France has one of the highest cases of HIV where it has been legalized for so many years") among that population among the msm population, the highest incidence."

The host, one Mrs. Blossom White asked if could we suffer and loose financial aid if we don't legalize it in Jamaica? Mr. Johns replied: "That's the problem is the government going to hear the British law? (host- "yes yes") aah if they do and the cutting of funds that means they are open for all kinds of things .. and the Bible say in Leviticus 8 that it is abomination." The host continued that the present Prime Minister that people's private actions have public effects. Miss Richards responds: "Let me tell you why (host - 'yes yes") let me give you an example of that over two years we spent approximately $594 million I think it was on just prevention of HIV/AIDS, you understand? in a country which is strapped for cash and this is just prevention you know, 594 over a two year period, when you look at it the doctors have said anal sex anal penetration ids the most efficient way of passing on the HIV/AIDS virus, shouldn't we then be warning these people against these types of activity? eeeh (host - "..and the mental pressure")

In closing the host asked the guests to give their final words:

Mr Johns: "Be more opened minded and make sure you know what's happening in the world because these are laws being brought in the back door and you just find about these things happening until the challenges, you need to be more aware."

Mrs. Johns: "As Christians out there as people in Jamaica be ye very careful because we in England alot of us as Christians sort of sit and says it doesn't affect us but it affect all of us in the end and whenever you go to get a job or anything like this so many people in jobs in England they cannot speak out against homosexuality, we were fortunate we didn't have a job, we were retired people and we could speak but there are so many people that have been muzzled in the job places, so be very careful and Christians stand up for what you believe in, stand up like the three Hebrew boys, stand up and say God will deliver." Mr. Johns intervened: " ...and we are not into gay bashing (host - "no we not we not destroying anybody, that is their right as it were.") don't go out there and do things, you know?

Shirley Richards: "Yes I would say to Jamaicans just find the ways of letting the government know of your disapproval with the repeal of the buggery laws"

Prayer by Mr. Johns ............ program ends

So we see folks we have a long way to go it seems with old misconceptions and confusing paedophilia related to us is still ripe in the minds of the traditional Christian community and some members of the legal profession.

Peace and tolerance

H

Talk 'bout what you love (Observer)

WELCOME back, family, friends and fans. I can't believe a whole week has swept by us and here we are once again.

Some of you must tire of reading about my total ignorance of current affairs with my BlackBerry being my main information source, but that's just how things cook up in Elva Land so bear on with me for a few minutes.

Some righteous individuals decided to advocate for a public ban on an alleged commercial the JIS has plans to air or is airing on television depicting a homosexual couple. Whether this is so or not I have no idea. My beef is neither with the JIS nor the sanctimonious saver of the world who drafted the mail, but with individuals on my messenger service who took it upon themselves (some of them who sin more than Satan himself) to forward it to me. I am not a homosexual advocate nor am I saying the lifestyle is moral or justifiable, since only God can judge us, but I was not in favour of the tone of the broadcast which suggested that we needed to stand up for our rights as Jamaicans and call for a ban of the ad, since it was going to plunge us as a nation into the pit of hell. Now the last time I checked, the motto said 'Out of many, one people," so go figure.

That is what I got from the broadcast and remember, I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, so maybe I interpreted it wrong.

A Bible verse was also cited which alluded to such persons being stoned in the book of Leviticus. What struck me as funny is, from my Sunday school memory, the stoning punishment was rampant throughout the books of the Old Testament, being applicable to men who stole; coveted their neighbour's wife or that woman at the well who was engaging in the world's oldest profession. How come none of those other ungodly 'abominations' were listed in the broadcast? It just didn't seem fair. The way I see it, sin is sin and he who is without sin, and only he, can cast stones. Based on the Bible and its teachings that I grew up on, homosexuality is against God's law, but I don't see it as the main contender for what is destroying the fibre of our beautiful little island.

Are homosexuals or a homosexual lifestyle responsible for the national debt; garrison in-fighting; corruption in high and low places; the increasing crime rate; the devaluation of the Jamaican dollar; Air Jamaica's sale; bad mind?... well, you get the picture.

I think we should strive to fix the major problems our country faces by acting less selfishly; insisting our children get an education; demanding better services from our elected officials; and taking pride in ourselves as Jamaicans -- gay or straight. Send out a BB broadcast about that if you dare! Since I'm on a roll here, let me add that homosexuality has always been around, hence the town of Sodom; it is nothing new. What is new is the emphasis we have placed on it in this country over the last two decades.

When I was growing up, there were persons living among us known as 'Maama man' or the female version 'Man Royal'. They went about their business just like everyone else, they weren't the centre of attention and dancehall/reggae music and our culture focused and fostered man to woman relationships. Nowadays, as a member of the female species, I have to wait for an allotted segment to 'bruk out' at a party, because all night long the music being played is about men, whether bad man, gunman or gay man.

And they do appreciatively hog the video light, sometimes bouncing away the true divas, because they are the feature act. My granny used to say "shoemaker talk bout shoes". Shouldn't our social commentators, be they selectors, artistes or BB broadcasters promote that which they know and love? This homophobic obsession is probably what led to the JIS' alleged acknowledgement. I can't blame them if that is the case; since they must be royalty the way we focus on the lifestyle of that group. Kudos everyone, if a so it really go, mission accomplished!

Correct me if I'm wrong but is there a separate hell for homosexuals? Last time I checked all sinners whether thieves, murderers, liars, drunkards, overeaters and fornicators are going the same place come Judgment Day to spend an eternity together, so we might as well start living good with each other from now or get right with God, obey ALL his commandments in order to enter Heaven and avoid the bangarang.

Well, that's my time, I've officially run out of allotted space to prattle on, so I'll end here. Hope you got the point.

Tweet me @ElvaJamaica or send comments via email
"mailto:elvachatalot@yahoo.com" elvachatalot@yahoo.com.

Our Children are at great risk ........

By Leighton Levy wrote this piece in the Star News which is one of the few remaining sensible non sensationalistic columns left in the paper which was once described as the afternoon version of the Gleaner: Have a read:

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to live with faith.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.


- Dorothy Law Nolte PhD (1972)

It was bound to start happening. I mean children live what they learn, children learn what they live, or so the song above says. We could not go on treating each other like savages and killing each other the way we do and it not affect our children. After all, this is what we have been teaching them for a while.

It was no surprise then that in recent times we have borne witness to a couple of incidents where children have become the perpetrators of murders. There was an incident recently where a young girl stabbed her 22-year-old brother to death, another where a girl accidentally stabbed her brother to death 'while playing' (I mean, who plays like that with a sharp knife), but the most heinous occurred a few days ago when a 15-year-old girl stabbed her six-year-old brother to death!

Now, I don't know about you but a single stab wound is one thing - even though I am still unable to wrap my mind around why someone would want to stab a six-year-old - but to stab the child four times, that's just plain cruelty.

perpetual violence

It is easy to pin these incidents on the attackers and turn a blind eye to the bigger picture and we do that very well here in Jamaica, but how much longer can we continue to ignore the fact that the perpetual violence that this country has been besieged by for more than a decade has finally begun to take hold of the psyche of our kids.

Seriously, what kind of dispute can a 15-year-old have with a six-year-old that would require the elder of the two to resort to stabbing the latter to death? I don't care what the issues are; stabbing someone to death can never be the solution. But in Jamaica today, we seem to have lost the ability to argue our way out of disagreements. The minute an impasse develops our first reaction is violent. So while we continue to try to dig our way out of this enormous financial hole we have found ourselves in, there are other more serious issues that we also need to contend with.

The examples we set for our children are very important in their overall development. It makes no sense we tell our children one thing and then we show them examples that are in direct contradiction. Children are not idiots and it's time we recognise this; and I don't care where you're from.

People who live in impoverished communities sometimes like to use their economic circumstances as an excuse to behave poorly. What they should remember however, or at the very least be cognisant of, is that we should always want our children to lead better lives than we did. So with that in mind, we have to start to do better. Similarly, in more communities of more affluent people, if their children see their parents using their considerable means to flout the law, what do they think the children will do when they become adults?

We have to start to do better. It seems as if it is already too late to save this upcoming generation that has already been severely scarred by the violence around them, but I have long held the belief that even on the road to madness there is always a way back.

Send comments to shearer39@gmail.com

ENDS

Coincidentally the matter was touched on via the GLBTQ Jamaica Facebook Group by a bisexual parent who expressed some concern about children's care and safety, she commented

"When adults are not conscious of how unconscious they are, they are unaware of how damaging their actions can be. in many cases the children suffer more than adults realize. (Discover the Gift)

For many years my world struggled to understand my passion for deliberate parenting, my focus on identifying and unlocking the key to my childrens' heart and mind and not just their actions. My scarifices (seeming), professionally as i pursued the school of life, to create, find, recreate a world in this world for children to BE acknowlegde as equal spirits to all other beings.

To clear the confusion as to the Right to be seen as well as heard, to be trusted rather than to have doubt and dependence shackled to them. To connect to the pain and bewilderment, the frustration and the thoughtless submission enforced by an ' unaware adult world, it hit my consciousness today, i cannot get weary in fighting for parenting to be more than a presumable osmotic expierence.

So many experts now speak and write books on strategies of parenting, missing the most important link, to build the consciousness of the adult, to change thought, deny myths, affirm spirit in the process, allow the equal participation of the childs spirit with ours.

This was was cry as a child lost in an adult world, today i allow my children to help me to find 'our' way in this world.

I thank my parents Walter and Rubie for giving me a glimpse of Positive Proactive Parenting."

Also at a recent community meeting where JFLAG was present it was asked and subsequently proposed that we stand with allies on other issues chief among them the rights of the child and given recent atrocities to the young it is disturbing that we have not joined in the chorus of condemnations on them, it's no wonder why the nation is cynical and compare rights as more needed than others with our calls deemed unimportant?. We cannot just be locked on gay rights or seeking superstar status as it appears to be that on that basis as many of our own detractors are champions for children's issues chief among them Betty Ann Blaine for example, if we ask the gay lobby are asking the nation to be tolerant then why are we uncooperative in working with these groups on issues that affect us as a whole? Yes Jamaicans for Justice and others do speak from time to time about LGBT issues then why are we reciprocating and join them publicly on issues they champion?

So the hypocrisy on our part continues.

Also see: Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) Functional Bisexuality, family units & the discourse

Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) (repost from 09) ........ International Family Day

Peace and tolerance

H

Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) Functional Bisexuality, family units & the discourse

So last night's (May 3rd) discussion at Open Mic Open Soul was one of the best ones yet where we looked at Gay Parenting from a mother's point of view seeing Mothers' Day is approaching Sunday May 8th 2011, the night feared well as persons mostly women as it was intended filed in and were seated, our presenter for the evening was already seated in her mini-van in the beautiful flowered outdoor setting under the cloudy but moonlit night as rain fell some hours before. Her 32 minute PowerPoint supported delivery was simple and not to wordy or over intellectualized as others who have come before who seem to be about impressing the audience more than engaging and stoking discourse. This session of course was also a follow up discussion to a post from my sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch on Gay Parenting (a view from the ground) in 2009 that has been getting some attention recently as International Family Day approaches as well which is slated for May 15th. Another same gender loving women's group is also planning a family day out with activities at a private resort around that same period.

Several interesting pointers were vigorously debated and put forward with regards to having and rearing children via several means:

Surrogacy:

Some of the participants were willing to have a surrogate act as an incubator with one of the partner's eggs used and a sperm donour or close gay/bisexual friend taking on that role. Persons felt though that they needed to have the child conceived naturally and not by a third party, even if their own eggs were removed and implanted in the third party's uterus, they felt it should be natural from start to delivery, the child will be more connected to the mother.

Turkey Baster:

A few persons also preferred this method (device show above) as it would not involve any males directly which was a concern for many ladies as for using the method itself those who wanted no males involved in the insemination process preferred a professional performing it than doing it themselves however.

Live donour:

One couple much to the clear unease of some participants expressed their preferred method of having a male friend literally copulating with the willing partner who will carry the pregnancy to full term and delivery, the man would not necessarily penetrate the would be mother for any protracted period but use outercoursal methods such as masturbation or have another male partner to assist via frottage or intercrural sex (leggings - penis between the crotch for friction leading to ejaculation) femoral/interfemoral sex/intercourse or Irrumatio, also called irrumation.

One other participant said that seeing she was bisexual she had not problem having full on sex with a male partner providing all the needed tests were done such as HIV and sperm count if only just to have the child then proper arrangements would be made following as to his involvement or not with their development and growth.

Existing child/children:

A couple present had a 7 month old baby present all wrapped and cute, this had the ooohhs and aaaahhs flying a they revealed their bouncing toddler to the audience while not prepared to reveal how the child came about they proudly stated they had already given him both their names, they shared their mostly positive experience from the delivery room to anti natal clinic to the other follow up visits that they still are conducting for the child's care. Much to the surprise of many including myself they said the nurses and staff at the Spanish Town hospital where the child was delivered all knew and they in some instances addressed the other partner as the "baby father" whenever she visited despite her very feminine look as she is not butch identified. Two other women substantiated the claim as they also related their own stories describing how they were treated as a couple with very courteous and positive feedback but as was expected there was lesbophobia for one woman who arrived afterwards and stated her ordeal at the Bustamante Children's Hospital during her and her then partner's visits there was open hostility and persons expressing their dislike for same sex parenting. The positive experiences was welcomed news as this shows real progress in some aspects on the ground.

.

A female teen the daughter of a lesbian who was also present spoke to the audience of the verbal abuse from other kids who taunted her about her lesbian mother, she is one of five siblings who are all aware of what goes down. She also expressed her love for her mother which brought almost everyone in earshot to tears.

Adoption:

Some participants expressed their willingness to adopt and in fact our presenter shared her personal family set up where she is a bisexual professional and her male counterpart is fully aware of the arrangement, they all reside close to each other and share rearing the four children invloved, two of the children were products of the original marriage while one was the product of the female partner from a previous union. The fourth child was fostered recently with a view to full adoption, the eye opening revelation was shocking to some as the reactions proved as jaws dropped and the questions came flying from persons about the set up and how they all made it work. The photos of the combined family together was real proof that is was a real functional unit right here in Jamaica and was a fitting example to aspire to not to its fullest but at least the comradery.

Persons were urged by the presenter to formalize adoptions to include proper documentation of monies spent, taking the needed steps for naming, declaring and providing adequate support while liaising with the relevant agencies such as the CDA, The Child Development Agency. In formalizing adoptions early it can avoid a possible intervention of a male figure or previously absent father from wanting to regain full custody for example which he has a right to do if the child was not cared for or registered properly, all he would need to prove is paternity, he also can file a suit outside the Family Court in the ordinary RM court for damages and try to show justifiable cause for reclaiming the child, often times this is done out of jealousy or hate sometimes as seeing the child in a same sex relationship doing very well can bring feelings of inadequacy as a man as society stipulates men are household heads and should lead. It was highlighted that children do just as well or even better in same gender loving homes than in heterosexual arrangements as they learn tolerance, distribution of activities, they are less judgemental and tend to be very protective of their gay/bisexuals parents.

Another very good discussion at the Oasis.

Peace and tolerance

H

Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) (repost from 09) ........ International Family Day

International Day of Families, 15 May 2011
(observed 12 May 2011)

Theme: "Confronting family poverty and social exclusion"

Contrary to popular belief, there are gay parents here in Jamaica, most of them conceived or derived children during earlier heterosexual unions before going str8 gay as I call it or from marriages that end in divorce. There are lesbian parents more so than gay male parents to my knowledge as well and the children in these unions seem to be more rounded in their approach to tolerance and the sharing of responsibilities generally speaking based on my observation.

The opponents of gay parenting here who also oppose homosexuality consisting mainly the church and christian organizations who say that children must not be raised by gays because there must be a mother and father figure in the home, let's look at the so called hetero correctness where children suffer in bitter divorce battles or parents are physically present but emotionally absent hence leaving the child to seek other alternatives for development and recreation.

Str8s are doing a good job aren't they? just look at how intolerant we are as a people towards a personal decision taken based on our orientation and freedom to exercise choice ...... wow, look at how many street children or to be more religious children born out of wedlock, the alarming rise in carnal abuse, paedophilia (which is not homosexuality or committed by homosexuals as some would like others to believe), hebephilia where our teenage girls are literally watched in their growth process and targeted by men for sex (coaster bus syndrome), rape and incest. Only this week there was a disturbing news item of a girl paid by her uncle for sex.

Visible outcomes
One particular male who has three adopted boys did so out of the need for them to have a father figure as they were the product of two HIV+ parents who subsequently passed away. He is very strict with them and doesn't allow them to stray an inch, his gay lifestyle does not seem to impede his ability to father them and he has taught them that there are many types of people in the world. The boys age from the eldest 14, 12 and 10. All are attending school and are doing fairly well. They are aware of their parents' fate and are counselled by professionals who keep a close watch on them. I guess with these support systems in place it would be easier to manage these children especially in our homophobic setting where even kids often emulate what the adults do to other children who behave differently than what is expected.

I am aware of a lesbian couple who entered into a relationship some time ago with both of them having children from previous hetero unions, the kids have since been raised to be tolerant and are compatible with each other, they are told by their moms exactly what is happening and of their parents' orientation, the boy and girl ages 11 and 8 seem not to be perturbed by the arrangements and are doing well in school and socially as well. The father of the boy is active in his life and although he is upset with the mother (according to her) he speaks to both women when he visits the home to see his son making sure not to show any descent in front of them as responsible adults should behave.

There is a male couple who have been together for a while, one of the men has a son from a previous marriage but the union ended in divorce, The mother decided to share custody of the child although she was aware of her ex husband's new lifestyle and living arrangements. He has been visiting his son at her home where she now has a new spouse and the child also comes to his home as well. The growing boy, as most children do, has been asking alot of questions and both parents deliberated on how to handle the information so he would understand and the timing of it as well with confidentiality. To their surprise after they painstakingly discussed the issues with him he said openly to them that he loves them no matter what. This from an eleven year old. Kids are not fools, never underestimate children.

I think that confirms a religious phrase "And a little child shall lead them"

All in all it is clear to me that children when given the correct environment of love, support and education can become rounded individuals despite the gender and orientation of the caregivers, I don't need studies to tell me this I see it everyday by the three examples above and others which may make this post extraordinarily long so I will follow up some other time.

also see from Gay Jamaica Watch: Sexual Reproduction for Same Sex Couples?

Peace

H