True confession: I am married to a man but attracted to women

IT is not uncommon for people still closeted to be in heterosexual relationships while hiding their attraction to people of the same sex.

In the case of Leah S, it is not a situation that rests well with her, and it proves to be a constant struggle as she has been married for 10 years, but is attracted to women, and even maintained a relationship with one during her marriage.

When Leah, who’s 35, spoke with All Woman, she shared that from as early as age 13 she felt different, but because of her religious upbringing she learnt to bottle up and ignore her liking for women and centre her attention on what was deemed right in the eyes of God.

Leah said this led to her forcing herself to like men and identify herself as ‘straight’ instead of bisexual, which she now admits to being.

“My teenage years were awful. I would see women and like them in a sexual way, but I somehow kept remembering that it was ungodly, that I would burn in hell, and the most gory parts of it to boot. I spoke to someone about it once and was literally rebuked. From that day I simply threw myself at men as the person said that it was better being called a slut than to be labelled a lesbian or bisexual.”

This new way of dealing with her sexual emotions led her to being branded by fellow church members as promiscuous and disobedient, and Leah explained that it got real bad when her parents told her she was a Jezebel who would end up unemployed with many children.

Determined to prove them wrong, she decided to settle down and go to university, but instead of falling into their ideal plan for her, she encountered a world of opportunities and an environment that embraced the side of her she was forced to suppress.

“Remember, I was never counselled about my homosexual feelings. I was rebuked and scorned and I tried to force myself to like men. When I got to university, because that wound wasn’t closed properly, it just opened a whole new can of worms and I saw that this was somewhere, a place I could fit in,” she said.

However, Leah pointed out that she still hid how she felt as she was surrounded by other church brethren who kept a watchful eye on her every move and at the simplest slip, would inform those back home.

“I had the way paved out for me to ‘bruk out’ as they would say, and just let loose, but eyes were everywhere. People knew me. I was involved in everything my church did, so I was known by my personal church and its extended body,” she said.

Leah silently indulged in homosexual behaviour, but ensured she had a man whom she could get to love her and eventually propose to her. This was her way of shielding her acts.

After she wed, she initially decided to give that side of her life a break and focus on her marriage because she was bent on making it work.

“No one could know, and I wouldn’t allow [any whisperings that my marriage was in trouble because of my sexuality]. Afterwards, [I chose a female partner] who knew how much image meant to me and understood why I was the way I was. She never tried to impose on my personal life or tear my family apart,” she said.

But nothing stays hidden forever and her husband found her secret when he came home early one day.

“He just walked in on us kissing and stood shell-shocked, looking at me as if he was looking at a stranger. But he kept his cool and she left. When I tried to explain he said it was fine, and that he wasn’t going to leave me.”

She later took him through her history and the struggles she had endured, and he listened with a great measure of care.

While Leah is still attracted to women, the married couple attends counselling sessions and works together with the hope that one day Leah will break free from her attraction and be devoted to her husband.

However, though she admits that while she loves her family and would love to be 100 per cent devoted to them, her struggle has been going on for years and will take time to break.

“I’m working at it, but things don’t happen in one moment. My husband I and have come to the realisation that this is a very, very real struggle and we also know that it will take time and patience. One thing I’ve done, though, is not to engage with any other female as I’m working through it. So though the attraction is there, I try not to form any relationships for the sake of my marriage and children,” she said.

Barbee's lesbian scene music video "Babylon ' still creating a stir?

In July of this year recording artist Barbee created a stir with her same gender intimate scene in a music video to support her song "Babylon" and at that time all kinds of things were said of her including whether or not she like some others were or are  capitalizing on or exploiting lesbophobia (greater homophobia) nationally to attract attention. 

The Star News had carried a piece on the issue as well:

Recording artiste Barbee recently premiered an explosive video for her new single, 'Babylon', which sees her pushing sexual limits. In the video, Barbee is seen engaging in a sexual romp with a female in a steam room.

Barbee said she was at ease with the video, and felt empowered and confident to share the "truth" with her fans. She also reiterated that, as a woman in the industry, she would not like her intellect to be negated based on the video concept.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone," she said.

Crowned 'Reggae Pop Princess' by talk show diva Wendy Williams, the recording artiste and songwriter is fresh off her European and Australian tour.

No stranger to the Jamaican musical landscape, Barbee first emerged working with artistes such as Junior Kelly, with whom she recorded the hit single Missing You. The song received airplay in the Caribbean and overseas, and reached number one on Jamaican charts.

Barbee's other popular recordings include Paddy Cake and Give It Up, collaborations with dancehall icon Beenie Man. She followed up with successful records, Love You Anyway and Feel So Good.

Barbee said she is ready to carry her love for music to new horizons and is working with Grammy award-nominated producers The Exclusives and the island duo, Rock City, who penned the megahit, Man Down, for Rihanna.


She continues to book shows worldwide, recording in Los Angeles, Atlanta and Jamaica. Barbee will also be launching her line of studio-quality headphones, Barbee Everting Pretty Headphones, which will be released soon.

ENDS

Fast forward to recent times and the comment thread in several dancehall groups and social media are still raging surprisingly; this one has not gone down as another nine day wonder as Stylysh and Ishawna's sujourn into public displays of affection experiment went and then it essentially died down after a while with both artistes benefiting in the long run it seems.

see:
We're not lesbians - Stylysh clarifies song with Ishawna .......... And So What if They Were?

Dancehall Act Stylysh says Lesbians Linked her on Instagram after Secret Lovers' Song Controversy meanwhile the comments have been scaving such as:

"a weh some sodomite gal nuh gwey wid dem nastiness  ...... "

"a dis dem wan promote inna dancehall now ....... suck pussy oman"

"dem gal yah fi dead like dem battyman fren dem .........."

And so on some of which are too ghastly to share here but it just goes to show the level of hate embedded in the national psyche and all one needs is a story or event to reignite same. Whether the sojourn is a way to get more attention that may translate into sales in a slumpy music market is not clear to me or is it a genuine openness for same gender love is not open; lesbians overall have had a more tolerant response nationally than us their male counterparts and the strongest evidence of this is in the adult entertainment industry.

Strip clubs since the late nineties mostly have been offering sometimes live on stage sex between women with added features such as Heineken content poured into vaginal orifices and such or dildos/strap-ons used in the act; the use of toys however reinforces the stereotype of SGL practicing women (gay or not) as looking for an alternative from non performing men who cannot get said women aroused (so they fake it) as a result women switch to each other, in essence an almost granted permission so conditional tolerance. In a sense the live sex scenes has helped in HIV prevention strategies on the ground in terms of condom usage displays and safer sex drawing from recent memory when myself and my team in my HIV work years asked models to play their part after some training so as to bring a real world experience to the work.

Changing hearts and minds is so urgent these days for any credibility to emerge and to strengthen advocacy's call but with recent episodes of elitism showing up its ugly head parading as concerns for governmental non intervention again I am not so sure right now. See: Jaevion Nelson: PM Must Find Alternate Ways To Support LGBT Community (Gleaner Nov 2015)

flashback: Jamaican Homosexuality & Class Issues 2009

Peace & tolerance

H

Viewers condemn kissing female students ...... yet again

So another case of teenagers in rebellious behaviour, experimentation or what as girls are said to be kissing and the photos miraculously making their way to social media. 

previous posts:
Experimental Sex Again? from GLBTQ Jamaica (blogger)

Early Sexual Initiation and Lack of Perceived Risk Put Youth at Risk

The issue is that with social media access so wide and the instantaneousness of it matters once hidden can now be seen in a heartbeat subject to the sharer originator or owner of the material security or lack thereof as we have heard of hacking and unauthorised posting of persons data. After all us as adults now in hindsight can look and condemn so easily and yet forget that we too at some stage maybe not kissing the same gender but the 'dolly house' antics, you show me I show you hideaway activities and such but I understand that a line must be drawn in as far as public knowledge.

I can remember the last case of Clarendon High School matter some months ago (see pic below) or the Spanish Town matter as well, but how do we tackle this one I ask as the girls might not be even lesbian or bisexuals for that matter but find such behaviour a means to be themselves outside of supervision and guidance.

Do we need social media etiquette of appropriateness courses and classes in schools or online?

some previous teen kissing examples:

Image blotted to protect their identity of Clarendon High girls earlier this year as well

Spanish Town High girls occurrence earlier this year

a rural school (photo) sex tape of a female and male in bushes in February of this year

We were once young too but if schools, parents and the Ministry of Education are not prepared to discuss sex and sexuality as it ought to be done with the age appropriate instruments then why are we surprised at such photos or angered at the participants suggesting they are headed into nastiness or debauchery. 

The Star News reported a day ago

The lip-locked photo of two female students of an all-girls institution in St Andrew has gone viral.

It has surfaced on a social networking site, Facebook, and has received widespread condemnation from the site's users.

The photo, which contains different frames of the schoolgirls dressed in uniform, shows them sitting in each other's lap suggestively and intimately holding on to each other as if in a relationship.

The photo appears to have been shot at the school and the largest frame has the girls passionately sharing a kiss with eyes closed.

When the school was contacted, THE STAR was initially told by an administrator that she was not aware of the picture because she had not seen it.

However, our news team was directed to the principal's secretary who told us, "The principal is not available for comment. We are dealing with the situation internally."

ENDS

How do we address this though in terms of talking to kids about sex? 

The cases of girls being abducted also needs to be raised here as curiosity can be deemed as consent by perpetrators or deviants and as this month is child's month (age of consent legally needs to be clearer) as recent Gleaner reports brought to bear:

More HERE & HERE from the Gleaner

also see:

photo from urbanislandz 

Pamputae's infamous lesbian kiss, proper role models or worth the risk for entertainement gain?

Dancehall Act Stylysh says Lesbians Linked her on Instagram after Secret Lovers' Song Controversy ....... Video Shoot to Commence

We're not lesbians - Stylysh clarifies song with Ishawna .......... And So What if They Were?

Dancehall's princess "Spice" lesbophobic rant "No Gyal To Mi Ting " 

Safety month in schools, bullying, oral sex and such ........... 2011

Peace and tolerance

H

Switch-hitting in a Gang War Case ...............

A very disturbing bit of news with strong leanings to alleged switch-hitting factoring in a murder case in St Ann has had some persons disturbed as more has come to light with revenge killing resulting of a bisexual man (known to persons who know) he was not directly involved in the feud but was simply at the wrong place and the wrong time it seems.

Jamar 

Previous gang war in February of this year in the depressed and volatile Steer Town community led to the spilling of blood in the street in Ocho Rios at the weekend of February 20 with the shooting death of an area resident.

Sources connected to steer town and police said a woman played a role in luring out and slaying of 23-year-old Jamar Robinson who was believed to be involved in a recent murder in the Steer Town community. Robinson shot dead Friday night, February 20, was the third person from Steer Town, midway between Drax Hall and Davis Town, to be murdered this year.

NOT REPORTED

Before that Friday’s slaying, the most recent murder of a Steer Town resident took place on Saturday evening, February 7 when a man was shot dead in supposed revenge. Police had issued no report of that incident that came to attention of this newspaper only as North Coast Times investigated reports of growing panic and fear in the community. The man was said to operate a car wash but no other details were available.

Just two weeks earlier, another Steer Town man was murdered on the edge of the community. He is 23-year-old David Ellis also called ‘Ozzy P’ of Damhead, Steer Town, St Ann. He was shot and killed on Thursday, January 22, along the Roaring River Main Road.

Police reports are that about 6:15 pm residents heard explosions and called the police. Ellis’ gunshot-riddled body was found. Reports say three men had walked up to him and opened fire before running away.Saturday night’s shooting comes following a show of force by at least seven armed men in Steer Town last Thursday, ahead of a funeral service for Ellis, Saturday.

SHOW OF FORCE

Reports are that men were seen massed in an area in the community and as a police patrol approached, the men fired a barrage of shots in the area. Residents say they were shocked given that the police were no more than 100 metres away when the men opened fire.

Police sources said they were stepping up their operations in the area and expressed concern over the future of Steer Town, a community with dozens of squatters and high levels of unemployment.Friday night’s shooting was a hit, though police have little details about it. However, investigations by a media outlet revealed that Robinson was blamed for a murder in the area. It is not clear if it was for the death of Ellis. However, reports were that some gang members said they had to “make a duppy” to avenge the death of Ellis, before he was buried.A woman was said to be involved and lured out Robinson, under pretense at a romantic night together. 

He her in Ocho Rios. The were walking along the road in the area of DaCosta Drive, part of the highway in front of Taj Mahal shopping centre when at least two men appeared out of bushes and shot Robinson three times, one of the bullets striking him in the head.

The woman was unharmed and escaped. It is not clear if she left in a car that had taken the men to the area.
Police were called to the scene. A senior officer told The Times Monday that all weekend police were working on the case but he refused to say whether they had any leads or theories about what had happened in that case. Jamar is said to have occasionally had contact within the LGBT entertainment scene but very low keyed.

We have seen previous cases of switch hitting allegedly causes challenges and murder as well for example in these previous posts:

LADY SWITCH HITTERS & THE BOYFRIENDS WHO COMPLAIN … (CROSS-POST FROM BLOGGER)

Star News: “They Were Lesbians” or HERE from GLBTQ Jamaica

Also see: Jamaica : Lesbian Shotta Killed Man in quarrel over women Hope some closure can be brought to this a warfare generally is causing all kinds of challenges.

Peace and tolerance

H

Man chokes woman over alleged lesbian affair, bisexual woman told to leave her home & kids

A man was brought before the court In January 2014 for attacking his woman and choking her after he accused her of having a lesbian affair.

Dwight Henry was arrested and charged with assault occasioning bodily harm after he held down his female companion at their home and squeezed her neck, causing severe pain and swelling.

The court also heard that the complainant could not eat for days because of how swollen her throat was.

When he appeared in court, the complainant said that Henry attacked her after accusing her of cheating on him with the woman and that he was upset she had not told him of her secret woman on the side.

"He accused me, saying I was along with a lady and she and I was having relationship, and then attack me," she told the court.

Henry, however, did not deny her argument and pleaded guilty to the charge and was fined $15,000.

If the fine is not paid, he will serve six months in prison. He has since paid the fine and the matter was to be heard again, she has since removed out of the house reportedly and hopes that the case closes altogether so she can get on with her life

Bisexual woman told to leave her home & kids

Another case of a man who has become supposedly uncomfortable with his female partner's alleged cheating with another woman. The victim who hails from Gregory Park in St Catherine said she told her male that she is bisexual but he agreed none the less to enter into an intimate union none the less provided no other partners affected their romantic union but some sexual contact was allowed.

The semi open relationship had been on for some time as she had a previous same sex union that she ended as the man did not approve of the particular woman in question, she is also the mother of a six year old son from a previous opposite sex union that ended some time ago, the man in question has allegedly contacted the father of the child and is said to be spreading disparaging remarks since this matter has surfaced.

The woman is now distraught as she seeks some redress on the issue and is engaged by a counsellor. 

Such are the challenges for bisexuals or polyamorous persons in Jamaica as time and time again we see issues such as this appearing.

also see a recent post I did on Open Relationships

Butch women interviewed on national television ...... lesbophobia, enlightenment or both?

13 types of Bisexuals, appropriate list or labeling?

Lady Switch Hitters & the Boyfriends who complain .

Peace & tolerance

H

Homosexuality in Africa - (Part 1)

Homosexuality in Africa - (Part 1) 

The common belief among Africans is that homosexuality is primarily a story of seduction by Europeans and/or Americans, in which the Africans acquiesced out of fear or from a desire for money. . . But we know that this is a lie, and this is an attempt to shed some light on our true history, that which our colonial masters had ensured was kept hidden from us. In the black/white relationships that did develop into homosexual unions, the white partner appears to have been the aggressor. No doubt the abuse of African people by European/American people has included sexual abuse. What is untrue, the lie, is that such abuse was the origin of African homosexuality.

There are two false assumptions in anthropology. The first false assumption is that savage or primitive people know nothing about homosexuality; the second false assumption is that Africans were savage or primitive. Where there was clear and indisputable evidence of African homosexuality, anthropologists had to invent excuses in order to save these false assumptions, and that is what they did.

The first excuse was that Africans learned homosexuality from the Arabs. Then the excuse was that Africans learned homosexuality by hustling Europeans. Anthropologists said homosexuality was only a corruption practiced by the overly rich chiefs. Then they said that poor people practiced homosexuality because the overly rich chiefs had monopolised all of the women in harems. They said it was only youthful high spirits: the African was not really homosexual; he was just real drunk last night. Every excuse you are likely to hear from a deep closet case was used by Euro-American academics in the attempt to explain away the facts. The facts were: homosexuality was found in almost every major African ethnic group that we know of, through all of the history we know of. Few of the societies of Africa could be called savage or primitive, but all over the world, those people who might fairly be called savage or primitive are perfectly familiar with homosexuality. Homosexuality is not the white man's way. It is the way of gay people of all colours and nations, of all places and times.

African Homosexuality

One common mistake made, is that of confusing the popularity of homosexual activity with what gay people are doing and how they are treated. In Azandeland, in modern day northern Congo and the Central African Republic, most men, or at least very many men, had homosexual affairs. However, most men were still expected to marry women, father children, and so forth. The Azande knew very well that some men preferred to have sex with other men. Although every man was expected to marry a women, Azande customs provided a man with an excuse to have sex with another man whenever he wanted, throughout life. Marriage between warriors and recruits was only a part of the Azande accommodation to male homosexuality. The Azande were not a liberal people. They were the rare example of a society that punished female homosexuality while imposing no penalty on males. Because it was thought fatal to any man who witnessed it, female homosexuality could, in theory, entail the death penalty. But in fact female homosexuality was common and the public knew about it. In an Azande folktale two women conspire to fool a husband in order to get together. The most common sexual activity between men was intercourse between the thighs. This sort of adaptation is common in cultures where homosexual affairs become fashionable among non-gay men. We do not know what the gay, or preferentially homosexual Azande did. We only know the Azande knew there were such men.

In societies where homosexuality becomes popular across the board, it is usual to find that older men choose unmarried young men and that the older men assume the role of top in these relationships. So it is perhaps instructive to look at two groups in Africa that went counter to that tendency. A good example of an African people with a tradition of male homosexuality between lovers of the same age was the Nyakyusa who lived north of Lake Malawi (aka Lake Nyasa). However important the family was in Africa, you cannot form strong states and vast empires such as Africa had, on the basis of family alone. Intermarriage helps some. But to build a strong state you must have forces that run across family lines, that hold the various families together, and that keep feuds and rivalries from tearing society apart. Various African societies have used various institutions to paste society together. There might be secret societies, like fraternities and sororities, especially in West Africa. There might be trade organisations or craft guilds. There may be dance associations or religious institutions. Very commonly, people are organised in age groups. The Nyakyusa of what is now southwestern Tanzania and northern Zambia carried organisation by age group to the extreme. They organised their villages by age group. One of the first things young Nyakyusa boys did, to show they were becoming responsible, was to herd cattle. Generally a boy and his best friend would herd their families' cattle together. Pasturing the cattle gave the boys plenty of time to play around. And, of course, what they did was to have sex. They danced together, engaged in mutual masturbation, anal sex, and intercourse between the thighs.

Oral sex, whether heterosexual or homosexual, was not very popular in traditional African societies. Most of them thought it was very bad. Oral sex or rape were considered serious crimes which might entail a cattle fine. All of the other things the boys did might get them a tongue lashing or a minor whipping if they were caught by the adults. But everyone knew what was going on and no serious attempt was made to stop the boys. At a fairly young age Nyakyusa boys had to move out of their fathers' homes. At first they were likely to sleep with other boys in abandoned huts or other bachelors' quarters in their fathers' villages. Boys slept together, and naturally had sex with each other at night. So long as force was not used, no crime was reckoned to have occurred when the boys had sex. For the boys, homosexuality was considered a perfectly normal, if not completely desirable, sexual outlet that required no explanation, supernatural or otherwise.

Eventually boys of the same age, perhaps from several parent villages, got together and began to form a village of their own. At first this was a boys' village. The girls remained in the parent villages until the boys reached a marriageable age. In a sense, Nyakyusa villages have a life cycle from boyhood through manhood to old age. A village is child to some other villages, parent to some villages, and brother to yet others.

Now, what do I mean by boys? In Africa you are a child until you become a boy. You remain a boy until you of an age to have a house, a female wife, and children of your own. Nyakyusa began having homosexual relations at 10 to 14 years of age. They seldom married before they were 25. So for ten to fifteen years of the most sexually active part of life, Nyakyusa men practiced homosexuality. Once they got married to women, and virtually all of them did, Nyakyusa men were supposed to stop having homosexual relations. Nonetheless, a few cases of relations between men and boys came to light. This was punishable by a cattle fine. It is said, however, that the men were not afraid of the fine, but of the shame of being caught in activity associated with witchcraft. In any event, Nyakyusa men did not believe it sacrificed their masculinity to perform anal sex in either position. They did not believe they were castrated in the middle of their burning skulls just because they had sex with their friends. Certainly the Nyakyusa public thought it peculiar if a man with a wife at home preferred to have sex with a man or boy, but that only raised questions of witchcraft, not questions of manhood.

Tell Me Pastor responds to Disowned because of my bisexual lifestyle letter writer

It is been a while since I paid much attention to pastor Dumas's column in the Star News as I am still convinced that some of those letters are not real or edited in such as way to gain readership, now comes this entry on what is supposed to be a dejected bisexual and if we are to go by the Pastor's day job as a psychologist then he ought to have known that homosexuality has been removed from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, DSM long ago, 1973 in fact and that his personal religious views must never conflict with his profession.

Check out the letter firstly then his response below:

Dear Pastor,

I am a constant reader of your column and find your work very interesting. I believe the advice you give is accurate and straight to the point, so I am requesting your advice.

I am an 18-year-old male, living with my grandmother. most of my family is aware of the fact that I am bisexual. Ever since they found out, I have been expressing a do-not- care attitude to the world, meaning I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I am living my life the way I want to. I am a pre-university student. Before the Christmas holiday, I started to make some bad decisions. Apart from the life I live, I started to party every weekend and during the week, sometimes.

I have been consuming a lot of alcohol and smoking (not ganja)

Recently, my mother came from Canada and heard that I was with my boyfriend, coming from a club. My mother did not know of my sexuality.

We could not get a cab but, luckily, I saw my aunt and she took us home. She told my mother everything she saw.

My mom claimed she has disowned me. However, she never took care of me in the first place, so I don't let that be a bother to me.

I am indecisive as to what to do next because, in addition to my family knowing my lifestyle, the community I live in knows as well.

Please, express your thoughts on this matter.

Yours truly

Proudly confused
Pastor's response

Dear Proudly confused,

What are you proud about? If it is the lifestyle you love, why are you confused? You said you are bisexual and some of your relatives now know what you are doing. Your mother has decided to disown you. It is unfortunate she has taken that position. I suppose it has come as a shock to her.

Perhaps you do not believe what the Bible says about homosexuality. The Bible does not sanction that type of lifestyle. I can never encourage you to continue to make love with a person of your own sex. You may reject my suggestions but I believe God is able to change you. If you are determined to serve him, nothing is impossible for God to do.

I would, therefore, suggest you seriously consider seeing a Christian family counsellor or psychologist for professional help. I will be praying for you and I ask my readers to do the same.

Pastor

ENDS

So a Christian counsellor even in the face of clear evidence that homosexuality is not a disorder, really Pastor Duman? The repeated use of the word "lifestyle" in both the supposed letter and response is suspicious and disturbing as psychologists who are properly trained and even advocates who are exposed know that we are dealing with sexual orientation here as the "letter writer" did not give an indication of someone going through a phase or operation behaviourally bisexual which suggests they would be in such a practice merely for the fun of it due to previous same sex exposure in a situational setting or worse yet abuse.

We must call out these suspicious letters when we see them folks. A December 6th 2010 piece is available here from GLBTQ Jamaica Wordpress edition entitled "Tell Me Pastor" on bisexuality also treats bi issues as strange. Although we have gotten used to the pattern I think it is important to continue to track and point out these infractions coupled with the glaring inconsistencies at times as there are some folks who read Pastor Dumas's columns, blogs and follow his radio show ardently.

also see:

Tell Me Pastor column - 'Gay' problem 2010

Tell Me Pastor recomends Restorative Psychology to Lesbian 2009

Another "Tell Me Pastor" Letter, (real or not?)

See the "Tell Me Pastor" tab immediately below this post for previous entries here as well.

Peace and tolerance

H

Betty Ann Blaine & foreign religious zealots continue their paranoia & misrepresentations of male homosexuality

While today is the fourteenth anniversary of JFLAG's founding and Human Rights Day the quiet from them and the other local rights groups is disturbing to myself and a few others while the religious zealots as certainly they are not Christian in the true sense are on a major campaign to now paint homosexuality as enemy number one while dishonestly linking the orientation on a whole to paedophilia yet again. 

The bigger issue ought to be how to live in a pluralistic society as it is inevitable than launching a Jamaicanised version of the Ugandan anti gay strategies. They have been getting increased foreign support in cash and otherwise with a British lawyer urging them to fight to keep buggery on the books, a Singaporean anti gay activist last year who gave a lecture on so called real rights and how to watch the "gay agenda," a Jamaican couple who supposedly lost a bid to foster children in the UK after becoming complacent and not following the change in the law their while refusing to teach tolerance overall which includes that for same gender loving teens and children, Lawyers'  Christian Fellowship President Shirley Richards continued anti gay thrust and paranoia over future gay marriage rights agitation from local LGBT groups when no such rights were asked for, she also seems to support tacitly support the controversial Ugandan "Kill Gays Bill" see more here:

Shirley Richards support Uganda “Kill Gays Bill?”

It was only on November 25th that the now very active Jamaica Coalition for a Healthy Society, JCHS via a radio show confused homosexuality deliberately so it seems to push their anti gay agenda and the week prior to that, it was only in yesterday's Observer we saw another Jamaican this time a male teacher clearly showing his inability to adapt to rules in the UK education system complaining he was fired because he was a Christian and supposedly opposing homosexuality. See the story HERE, let us also not forget the Home and Family Life Curriculum Fiasco and the Reverend gentleman and Minister of Education's Pandering to the religious right sentiments more so than looking at the Urgent Need for Sex & Sexuality in our schools as I fear it is this lack of the subjects properly taught for generations why we have the levels of homophobia and homo-negativity. The gay lobby has been caught fiddling after all these years of struggle with the unexpected rise in power and presence by these groups of which I have been warning about for years, they became too complacent. Now comes another story this time in today's Gleaner: 'Shun Gay Lifestyle' - South African Pastor Warns Ja About Homosexual Lobby - 

Jodi-Ann Gilpin, Gleaner Writer ..............

A SOUTH African pastor on the weekend urged Jamaicans to become militant against acts of homosexuality, saying condoning such behaviours could lead to consequences of enormous proportions.Pearl Kupe, who is also an attorney-at-law, was speaking at an international conference on human rights, international law and the family, held at the Jamaica Conference Centre in Kingston on Saturday.

"The LGBT group in South Africa doesn't only enjoy rights that every ordinary citizen has, but they have special rights and privileges," Kupe said.

South Africa's post-apartheid constitution was the first in the world to outlaw discrimination based on sexual orientation. In December 2006, the country became the fifth country in the world, and the first in Africa, to legalise same-sex marriage. The country is considered a haven for the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community.

"What we are seeing here is a nation that is hungry for power and will do anything to gain such power, even if it means isolating themselves from moral standards," Kupe told the conference.She added: "They are willing to trade ethics, morality and values in exchange for global power and we cannot allow these things to infiltrate your country."

Jamaica's justice minister, Mark Golding, was guarded in his response when asked by The Gleaner to comment on Kupe's presentation.

"It's a very delicate issue because we don't want to endorse lifestyles that are not grounded in Christian values, but there are very compelling arguments on both sides," Golding said.

"On the table right now is the repeal of the buggery law which we have to carefully analyse, so I really don't want to say to much right now," he added. Kupe had used her presentation to appeal to members of the Church and civil society to help counter the spread of the homosexual lifestyle.

"We are not here by coincidence, this was ordained by God," Kupe said."We have to come together and get the stakeholders involved and mobilise the media because we can't leave here without coming up with a response plan because we are heading in a deadly direction."

Kupe said a LGBT charter, which is being considered in South Africa, is seeking to promote the universal acceptance of the gay lifestyle. She also claimed it is seeking to discredit anything or organisations that condemn homosexuality.

"What is happening now is that there is a strategy to get homosexuals in the schools and to also perpetuate homosexual propaganda at every opportunity," Kupe said.

"The LGBT is actually advocating for the teaching of homosexual behaviours in the schools, so I'm not just talking about education of homosexuals but making it an option in our schools," Kupe added.

The reverend lawyer also claims that homosexual behaviours are prevalent within places of worship.

"It is unlawful to discriminate against lesbian and gay men in church, mosque, temple, synagogues or other places of worship. This includes the right to worship at a place of their choice, right to be a member or a minister of religion regardless of sexual orientation," she said.

"But I want to make it clear that God is not a God of equality but a God of justice and, as Christians here in Jamaica, you have to make it known that Jamaica belongs to Jesus," she said.

photo not in original article ... added to make the point as it says

Children at risk

In the meantime, Betty Ann Blaine, convenor of Hear the Children's Cry, urged Jamaicans to say no to homosexuality.

"One of the threats to Jamaica is the argument to repeal of our buggery law, which is a challenge to all of us, not just Christians," Blaine said.

She added: "We can't possibly repeal the buggery law precisely at the same time when more and more of our children are being buggered."

During the run-up to last year's general election, Portia Simpson Miller, now prime minister, said she would support a conscience vote in Parliament on whether the buggery law should be repealed. Blaine said she is not prepared to sit back and allow Parliament alone to decide on the matter.

"I'm prepared to take this to the streets because the Parliament will not decide this. Any repeal to the buggery law must be be taken as a referendum and it's the people who must decide this," she said.

Jamaican gay activist Maurice Tomlinson yesterday described Kupe's address as "typical of the fear mongering that fundamentalists engage in to deny the human rights of homosexuals".

"Few, if any of their assertions, are supported by logic or evidence," Tomlinson said in an emailed response to The Gleaner.

According to Tomlinson, "Jamaica will continue to drive this vulnerable group underground with deadly consequences for public order and public health" if the human rights of homosexuals are ignored.

"Most tragically, homophobia forces some gay men to form relationships with women. This exposes the women, men, and any children of these unions, to untold physical and psychological harm. It is high time the Government showed leadership and put an end to this fanatical intolerance by reading down the anti-buggery law to decriminalise the private acts of consenting adults," Tomlinson said.

- jodi-ann.gilpin@gleanerjm.com

ENDS

So we continue to see the paranoia and the unfortunate and downright dishonest linkage between adult male homosexuality, privacy and paedohpilia but why can't we repeal or decriminalize buggery and also have protections that already on the books strengthened similar to how the Irish did by having a Child Defilement Clause added to their Sexual Offences Bill?

Was Mr Tomlinson's response adequate enough or did the paper just edit what they thought was needed?

What are Betty and these other foreigners afraid of?

As for Kupe's remark about special rights, aren't there special rights for persons with disabilities or other groups, even children who ought to be and are protected have specific rights and legislation that offer protection, so what is different for specifically worded codes for LGBT people given the sensitivities involved? The aforementioned Child Defilement Clause as suggested would be one such special right/protection in one.

Does anyone notice the constant use of the term "homosexual lifestyle" by these persons, what a bigoted strategy but I am not surprised as the mantra for the JCHS blatantly espouses theocracy where it says: "Working for a Jamaican society in which Judeo-Christian values nourish and enrich the social, spiritual, physical, emotional and mental health of all citizens." One of its founders Dr Wayne West operates a blog where he continuously says tolerance is equated to Jamaica accepting felching and fisting, another set of dishonest and unethical strategies to demonize male homosexuals via sexual practices when the contradiction sat right there on his blog where the overseas study's abstract he republished (he has posted many including very old ones) stated that it was a sub-group of msms who actually carry out such practices overseas more so in European cultures such as the biker and leather communities but apparently the attempt is being made to link those practices as normative in our gay culture, the depths these anti gay advocates will go to is disturbing.

Funny how years ago these same religious persons complained that the LGBT lobby had overseas aid and money and were importing a foreign lifestyle now it seems the religious right is actually using its own criticism as a strategy to push their gay agenda and all of a sudden these foreigners are not importing bigotry aided and abetted by so called Christians and a government who seems willing to roll over and have its stomach rubbed by these persons with tongue gleefully hung out like a happy dog.

Interesting also the hundreds of thousands spent on this campaign including expensive full paged ads in print media whilst the least amongst us just remains that, the least amongst us, what about our homeless and children, the boys who wipe car windows, the kids in lockups, do we see these so called religious zealots in the name of Christianity really helping those groups in a bid as they say for a healthy society? It is the things that are infront of us that must be addressed but if they have their way they'd be at our keyholes peeking to see who is pushing what in where. Sad for a country with a motto that says "Out of Many One People, rubbish, we are aeons away from such.

What would Jesus do?

HOMOSEXUALITY - A Biological Reality

HOMOPHOBIA - A Lifestyle Choice

Think on these things people, peace and tolerance.

H

additional reading: 

Rev Clinton Chisholm accused of pushing “bad science” in regards to ex-gay therapy

'BISEXUAL CLAIM NOT TRUE' - J'cans bash recent survey report

UPDATE 6:49pm UNAIDS Caribbean has debunked the original story go HERE for more but still read on below as the discussion has already commenced so might as well we continue to raise the issue(s)

Well I sort of expected this biphobic reaction laced with anti-gay insinuations in a sense as it seems to be founded on a fear of persons being perceived to being on the downlow so as to avoid being outed as gay. There maybe some truth to that though as the gay for pay phenomenon is real, these days one only has to listen and hear the one liners in the latest dancehall songs hinting to supposed downlow men forcing or using wealth and materialism to "change" other men to commit same sex acts. I wondered aloud in a Facebook group if the study took into account behavioural bisexuality as well, which I doubt as bisexuality on a whole is not given the attention it deserves in general LGBT discourse or rights agitation and as for social interventions and recognition to double gender loving persons we know all too well the agencies here pay scant regard to that except for the occasional time as this or when bloggers mark the respective calender events.

One also has to take a look at how even the gay community views bisexuals or for all intents and purposes pansexual people who see no gay or bisexual label entrapping them. 

also see: 
Bisexual and pansexual identities often look the same

Lady Switch Hitters & the Boyfriends who complain ...

The Biphobia in the community (Gay, Lesbian) maybe higher than thought

Anyone remembers this cartoon when the Vybz first made the trek to the slammer?

also see: Kartel on lockdown and that suggestive cartoon .....

Hence when issues/discussions like these come forth there is silence as all things gay and beautiful pervade the great and small all things wise and wonderful buggery repeal superceeds them all. This shows once again a clear lack of interest in general LGBT issues and not just the "G" in the struggle for recognition and rights. Bi-erasure and subsequent biphobia by default, a complaint raised by some community members for several years, where is the leadership?

see this older entry: “LGBT” advocates – nonengagement of bisexual issues = Biophobia by default

The Star News carried the following today in a follow up to the precursor to the Caribbean online study whose results are expected to be out by September of this year according to a recent communication with an officer close to the group responsible for its execution.

PAULA GORDON, Staff Reporter

Several Jamaicans are questioning the credibility of a recent study that claims that one in every four Caribbean men is a bisexual.

The online study conducted by the Caribbean Men's Internet Survey (CARIMIS) has become the hot topic on the lips of many persons since yesterday and has sparked some level of controversy.

About 2,560 men are said to have participated throughout 33 territories. This would possibly mean that the survey included men from Jamaica as well.

questioned credibility

Though the findings are preliminary, it was revealed that 15 per cent of those surveyed said they had sex with men but gave no labels, such as homosexual or bisexual to their acts.

Subsequent to the news being broken about the study, our news team sought to get some comments from several Jamaicans.

A number of the persons interviewed questioned its credibility and the sampling methods used.

Kirk Thomas, a bank employee, told THE STAR, "I don't believe in that survey because it doesn't identify the territories examined, ... one in every four ... my crew consist of 13 and mi sure I am not bisexual and none of my friends are so I can't agree with that survey."

Andrew Henry, a taxi man, expressed, "I know about myself, I don't think it is right. I think they did that survey down in the Lesser Antilles."

Interestingly, the gripping results have also resulted in numerous comments being left on Facebook.

Several males blasted the group that carried out the study on the social networking site.

One male wrote, "Lol ... these statistics are so dumb, would love to know how they came up with this ... The truth is we don't know squat, could be even more or less or not at all ... Personally I don't even accept it one out of four ... Come on."

Another wrote, "Not Jamaica ... Don't mix we up ... ."

On the other hand, several women proved to be more receptive to the findings.

One woman said, "Is true! Unno man is in denial"

In the meantime, THE STAR understands that the project, which was launched in November last year, was funded by the UNAIDS, the joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS.

It is expected that the results will be handed over to regional governments in short order.

article ends

Given the homo-negative and sometimes caustic environment here in Jamaica it only stands to reason why same gender loving men overall tend to be closeted in a sense and take on heterosexual partners even have offspring so as to take the social pressure of their backs, the proverbial why don't you have a child yet or girlfriend taunts from parents or sibblings. Is it time we begin to have a serious national discussion on coming out and remaining out and also here on the rock instead of having to run or seek asylum elsewhere? be you of whatever sexual orientation, it is time we start living our truths?

Bigger issues here are on the horizon to me than just a survey on how many bisexuals that there are.

All of a sudden the Star News "Tell Me Pastor" has a letter from a man claiming his female partner is a deceptive bisexual, how convenient, see more here: Deceptive bisexual one wonders is these letters are real sometimes.

Peace and tolerance

H

One in four Caribbean men bisexual – survey

There seems to be some foul up going on here as the original information was as follows:

Almost one in four Caribbean men today describe themselves as bisexual, a new study suggests.
The preliminary findings of the regionwide Caribbean Men’s Internet Survey (CARIMIS) are in stark contrast to the Caribbean’s traditional image of a macho society with sparse tolerance for homosexuality.

“We have a fair population in the Caribbean that identify as bisexual. Across the entire sample … about 20 to 23 per cent say they are bisexual,” facilitator of the CARIMIS project and director of UNAIDS, Caribbean Regional Support Team, Ernest Massiah said.
The CARIMIS study is being touted as the “largest sample” of the Caribbean MSM (men who have sex with men) population of its kind, done via Internet—surveying 2,560 men throughout 33 territories in the region.

Massiah also revealed that 15 per cent of the men did not define themselves in any category. Although they engaged in sexual activity with other men, they “do not want a label”, he said.
According to the director, the most “shocking” aspect of the study involves the amount of physical and verbal abuse and visual intimidation levied against MSMs in their respective countries.
“What we are seeing across the region is that between five and 10 per cent of people have been assaulted because they were perceived to have a different sexual orientation,” Massiah said.

In some nations half of the MSM population identified with being verbally abused and visually intimidated.
“What we are seeing is that as a society, if you have a sexual orientation that is perceived as different, you can be physically abused and in a lot of cases you receive verbal abuse,” he said.

For the first time, the study identified a new population of men – the educated MSM man.
“We are getting a population that we have not been able to get data from before, that is men with secondary and tertiary level education. We have a very educated sample here,” the director said.

Previously, face-to-face surveys were the norm, but only accessed “certain members” of the MSM population. Massiah said that the use of the Internet and redefining their target populations was the key to the survey’s success.

“It is a good way of doing research because you can get to people in a much quicker way than you would have if you tried to do an interview with an individual person,” he added.
The study’s results will be given to governments of participating nations to help develop policies and initiatives that will protect and service the MSM community.

The UNAIDS-funded initiative was launched online last November and concluded in June.
The MSM population is defined by the survey not only as openly gay men but also men who do not self-identify as gay or bisexual but participate in sexual activities with other men. The survey is being implemented throughout the English, French, Spanish and Dutch speaking Caribbean countries.

The survey is now closed and will be out by October.

New developments - August 16, 2012

After communicating directly with the UNAIDS Caribbean media representative to verify the story yesterday via email the following Press Statement was sent to me from their Trinidad office as other media outlets had it wrong it seems, the problem is the damage has been done but let's make it right as local discourse is already high since the story broke with even our Jamaica Observer carrying the piece:

PRESS STATEMENT

MSM data due by the end of October

PORT OF SPAIN, 16 August, 2012— UNAIDS Caribbean wishes to debunk a news story circulating in the regional media over the last 24 hours under the headline “One in every four Caribbean men bisexual”. The story’s claim that a UNAIDS study found that quarter of the region’s men are bisexual, is misleading and of no merit.

The Caribbean Men’s Internet Survey—the first ever online study of men who have sex with men (MSM) in the region—has not yet been finalised as country-specific data are currently being analysed. Of the overall sample (of MSM who responded to the survey), 23 percent declared themselves to be bisexual. This is far different from one in four Caribbean men being bisexual as suggested in the story. Additionally, the sample size of the survey was 3,566 and not 2,566 as the report stated.

Findings will be finalised by the end of October 2012 and will be released to the regional media directly through the UNAIDS Caribbean Regional Support Team. For factual information on the study methodology and preliminary findings please visit www.unaidscaribbean.org

Contact

UNAIDS Caribbean | Cedriann Martin | tel. +868 623-7056 ext. 283 / +868 371-7195 | martinc@unaids.org

UNAIDS
UNAIDS, the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS, is an innovative United Nations partnership that leads and inspires the world in achieving universal access to HIV prevention, treatment, care and support. Learn more at unaids.org and unaidscaribbean.org

ENDS

My question is who made these grave errors in numbers and the time of the study's release? UNAIDS, the media or is Dr Massiah The Regional Director as quoted is being reigned in as he has been saying alot lately, case in point his pronouncements that the PNP, Peoples National Party offers hope for repealing the buggery law while revealing his hand that he has had conversations with three sitting unnamed Prime Ministers (to be named), an observation I made that he should have held that to his chest while continuing the talks.

 here is the actual newscast on the PNP matter from Nationwide News

also take a look at a thread from the Antiguan Observer HERE