Rejected Lesbian Lover Jumps From roof .............

According to the Jamaica Star News

Two St James women, an 18-year-old and her grandmother, both ended up spending time in hospital earlier this week after the teen jumped from the roof of a house after her girlfriend ended their relationship.

Residents of Paradise in Nor-wood, Montego Bay, St James, told THE WEEKEND STAR that on Monday about midday, the teenager and her 20-odd-year-old lover who were sharing a home for over a year got into an altercation.

It is said that the lover expressed a desire to end the love affair. Her desire is said to have been more than just word of mouth as she is said to have packed some clothes and left the house.

The heartbroken teenager is then said to have gone on to the roof of the house and jumped off, crashing to the ground. She was rushed to hospital and according to the residents her legs were broken in the fall.

After hearing that she was injured, the grandmother of the teenager is reported to have turned up at hospital where she heard persons saying that her granddaughter was a lesbian.

The 60-odd-year-old woman is said to have fallen to the ground. She reportedly hit her head and ended up in the hospital.

"Di grandmother nuh live a Norwood still eno, but everybody know seh di two girl dem a lesbian. Dem nuh hide it and dem even live together so mi cyaa see how di granny shock til' she all drop down," Timmy, a resident said.

Residents and police personnel from the Montego Bay CIB say that the incident has since become a hot topic in the community. "A formal report was not made but we have heard of the incident. A lot of people are talking about it," an officer at the Montego Bay CIB said when contacted.

Efforts to confirm the teen's injuries were unsuccessful up to press time last night as hospital personnel said that information regarding patients could not be divulged over the telephone.

ENDS

Pity we do not have any serious interventions at this time apart from referalls that often do not help enough or go far enough to deal with same sex relationship issues or conflict resolution that spill into the public domain. Rejections does not seem to be taken likely in our community due to the limited socialization leading to long term unions I surmise as living openly is already hard to navigate in our homophobic and growing lesbophobic society.

Young same gender lovers also need to have some guidance as to how to navigate and face certain realities especially in in the ending of a relationship or at best trial separation as an option as well. We all at some point want a life partner especially here so as to find solace from the problems of not being out and proud so some persons based on my observation find redress in a sense in a union and sexual contact. What tends to happen however also is a heteronormative construct being applied to how gay persons live out their relationships, so there is a dominant partner, gender roles mimicked in the union and a fatalistic approach when an abrupt end occurs or one partner is found to be cheating with the corresponding rage acted out in public as we have also seen in previous cases and tabloid entries such as this one:

Butch finds herself in some trouble for "non disclosure"

Much more work is needed to help persons involved gay romantic relationships. 

Peace and tolerance

H

Being Accountable to the Invisible Community: A Challenge for Intersex Activists and Allies

by Emi Koyama, Intersex Initiative

Intersex conditions are relatively rare, but not that rare. To give you an idea, there we e about 8,000 intersex people living in the state of Florida alone during the 2000 Presidenti l Election, which means that intersex people could have tipped the election to Al Gore if th y voted in a block! (To which my cleve friend said, "but if intersex people were voting in a block, they will find a way to disqualify intersex votes.")

Of course, there has never been an intersex voting block, or even an intersex political action committee. Indeed, despite the fact that there are tens of thousands of intersex people in this country, only a small number of people have publicly come out as "intersex." Where are the rest of intersex people?

Some do not know that they have an intersex condition, either because they have not been properly diagnosed or have not been told by their doctors and parents about their condition. Some do know about the condition that they have, but do not know that their condition may be considered part of intersex. Some reject the term "intersex" because of its negative association with "hermaphrodite" and other freaky imagery. For many, intersex is a site of pervasive physical and sexual violation, which they do not want to re-visit at all. Some wish to push away intersex as something that has happened in the past. Some are struggling hard just to stay alive. Some feel isolated and alienated by everyone around them, and do not feel that it is possible to "come out."

When we talk about intersex, we are talking about a lifelong history of shame, secrecy and isolation that are imposed on children who were born with slightly different bodies. We are talking about childhood sexual trauma, dirty family secret, repeated stripping in examination rooms, and the knowledge that whatever body you were born with was defective on arrival. It is not surprising that most people born with intersex conditions do not identify as "intersex" either publicly or privately.

As a result, the demographics of the few intersex activists who "come out" is skewed to be: mostly white, often college-educated, often LGBT or genderqueer (because queer people are already familiar with the process of coming out and doing activism, and also because they are more willing to go outside of standard sex/gender categories). This group, however, does not necessarily represent the rest of the people who are born with intersex conditions.

I personally do not consider "intersex" to be part of my identity. I feel that intersex is something that was done to me, not who I am. Nonetheless I am publicly "out" as an intersex activist, because I feel that taking such position is useful politically. Once people recognize me as an intersex activist, I can then start talking about what I actually feel about the label.

This creates a problem for the people who want to become allies to the intersex movement. If the few "out" intersex activists do not represent the rest, where should allies draw guidance as to what to do? How can allies act responsibly to the people who do not speak out?

As a relatively well-known intersex activist, I have come in contact with many people with intersex conditions who are not otherwise "out" as intersex or do not identify as intersex. Some of these people participate in condition-specific (such as CAH and AIS) support groups, while others are completely isolated. Even with the insight coming from these meetings, I am still unsure sometimes if certain things I say or do is actually in the best interest of intersex people as a whole.

There are some things that I am absolutely certain, such as that clitoral genitoplasty and vaginoplasty on a child is a bad idea. This is supported by many stories I have heard as well as the latest medical researches. But on other topics, such as when there was a discussion about whether or not to include "intersex" in PFLAG, I have had to make a judgment call based on everything I know about the situation and my own personal conviction.

As an ally, you will not get to hear from 99% of the people you are working to advocate for. But you are still accountable to them, as I am to my less vocal peers. Your best guide, aside from what "out" intersex activists will tell you, is your common sense.

Common sense should tell you that intersex people are regular people just like everyone else. Some are male, some are female, and there are few who explore alternative gender categoriesNjust like the non-intersex population. Some are gay or lesbian, some are bisexual, and some are straight. It makes no sense to assume that someone is gay or transgender because s/he is intersex, because a) there are gays and transgender people who aren't intersex, and b) there are intersex people who are not gay or transgender.

Common sense should tell you that whether or not one's genitalia matches her or his gender identity is not the only thing that matters. The problem with the intersex surgery is that it's harmful and in violation of the child's right to self-determination. The risk of assigning the "wrong gender" is not the only argument against thissurgery, nor is it the biggest one.

Common sense should tell you that using intersex babies to argue for some abstract theory or someone else's agenda, such as the social acceptance of a "third gender," is wrong. Most intersex people live happily as women or men just like everyone else, although they may be unhappy about the shame, secrecy and isolation that were imposed on them through medicine. If we were to advocate for the social acceptance of "third gender," that should be the responsibility of adults, whether intersex or not, rather than that of intersex children.

This is just the beginning. Use your common sense and focus on how to improve the lives of people with intersex conditions now and in the future. Ask us questions, but sometimes be willing to question the answers coming from the few "out" intersex activists including myself.

Intersex Awareness Day - Oct 26th

Apologies for missing this important date been busy working and probing so many other issues and stories.

Celebrate Intersex Awareness Day!

Intersex Awareness Day is the (inter)national day of grass-roots action to end shame, secrecy and unwanted genital cosmetic surgeries on intersex children. We intend to create a "day of action" similar to Take Back the Night, National Coming Out Day, or International Women's Day in that it will focus on grass-roots activism organized by local activists.

To learn about intersex issues/experiences in general, please see any of the following websites:

Bodies Like Ours
Intersex Initiative
Intersex Society of North America
Frequently Asked Questions

What is intersex?
Intersex refers to a series of medical conditions in which a child's genetic sex (chromosomes) and phenotypic sex (genital appearance) do not match, or are somehow different from the "standard" male or female. About one in 2,000 babies are born visibly intersexed, while some others are detected later. The current medical protocol calls for the surgical "reconstruction" of these different but healthy bodies to make them "normal," but this practice has become increasingly controversial as adults who went through the treatment report being physically, emotionally, and sexually harmed by such procedures.

Beside stopping cosmetic genital surgeries, what are inter sex activists working toward?
Surgery is just part of a larger pattern of how intersex children are treated; it is also important to stop shame, secrecy and isolation that are socially and medically imposed on children born with intersex conditions under the theory that the child is better off it they didn't hear anything about it. Therefore, it's not enough to simply stop the surgery; we need to replace it with social and psychological support as well as open and honest communication.

What's so significant about October 26?

On October 26, 1996, intersex activists from intersex society of naughty america (carrying the sign "Hermaphrodites With Attitude") and our allies from Transexual Menace held the first public intersex demonstration in Boston, where American Academy of Pediatrics was holding its annual conference. The action generated a lot of press coverage, and made it difficult for the medical community to continue to neglect our growing movement. That said, events related to Intersex Awareness Day can take place throughout October and does not necessarily have to be on the 26th.

It's great! How can I help?
First,join our email discussion list (we suggest the digest format if you want to keep the number of emails you receive under control). Then, look at our Get Involved section to see if there is already any IAD events scheduled for your area. If so, go and help them; if not, find a local organization that will sponsor the event--for example, try LGBT group in your city or college campus--and help them bring IAD to your city! We have suggestions for what activities to do, but what you will do is entirely up to you and your neighbors (and please tell us if you think of any great idea!)

Please note that Intersex Awareness Day is a loosely networked national initiative, and there is no central "headquarters." The form below will send an email to the maintainer of this web site, who is not necessarily "in charge," so to speak, of any activities that we are not directly involved. That said, we try to hook up local activists together so that we can all have a wonderful Intersex Awareness Day this year.

from Queers United

What is intersex?
Intersex refers to a series of medical conditions in which a child's genetic sex (chromosomes) and phenotypic sex (genital appearance) do not match, or are somehow different from the "standard" male or female. About one in 2,000 babies are born visibly intersexed, while some others are detected later. The current medical protocol calls for the surgical "reconstruction" of these different but healthy bodies to make them "normal," but this practice has become increasingly controversial as adults who went through the treatment report being physically, emotionally, and sexually harmed by such procedures.

Beside stopping cosmetic genital surgeries, what are intersex activists working toward?
Surgery is just part of a larger pattern of how intersex children are treated; it is also important to stop shame, secrecy and isolation that are socially and medically imposed on children born with intersex conditions under the theory that the child is better off it they didn't hear anything about it. Therefore, it's not enough to simply stop the surgery; we need to replace it with social and psychological support as well as open and honest communication.

What's so significant about October 26?
On October 26, 1996, intersex activists from Intersex Society of North America (carrying the sign "Hermaphrodites With Attitude") and our allies from Transexual Menace held the first public intersex demonstration in Boston, where American Academy of Pediatrics was holding its annual conference. The action generated a lot of press coverage, and made it difficult for the medical community to continue to neglect our growing movement. That said, events related to Intersex Awareness Day can take place throughout October and does not necessarily have to be on the 26th.

Peace and tolerance

H

Does size matter? - The women speak

By DONNA HUSSEY-WHYTE
Observer's All Woman writer

THE debate about the ideal size is one that continues to be a hot topic, no matter how many times the issue comes up. While many men are proud to declare that they are blessed and have just what their women require, some women feel that if he is largely proportioned but does not have the skill in using it, it is of no significance.
However, one sex therapist said size is really a state of mind for women, since studies have shown that the average depth of the vagina is only 4.5 cm. So if a man's member is longer than this, the remainder is really wasted!

"If she doesn't see it before he enters her, then she will have no hang-ups and will enjoy every moment," sex therapist Dr Sidney McGill said. "If however, she sees a small member, after having heard all those glorious tales about what a large member can do, then no matter good he is in bed, she will block her mind from it."
And so we decided to pose the question to women, 'does size matter?' 'And what in your view is the ideal size'?

Sherine, 28: Of course size matters. Even if it's big and lanky, it is better than a small one. Too small makes me nauseous just looking at it! Especially some where the scrotum is larger.

Ideal size: 9 inches.

Selena, 45: Of course size matters. I don't want anything oversized or too small. I don't want anything to cause me pain during the act, but I don't want something that I can't feel either.

Ideal size: 6 - 7 inches.

Debbie, 43: Of course size matters! What's the point of lying down and you're not feeling anything? When everything else in the relationship pop down that is the one thing that will keep it going. When there is no money, job, niceties, going out etc, you can use it till you drop. A small member cannot accomplish that!

Ideal size: 7 inches (but has to have both length and girth).

Althea, 35: It matters yes, but it is not the be all and end all. Some men feel that if they have a huge or above average member that's it. But that's not true 'cause you can have a big size and don't know how to use it and that doesn't make sense. If you're big you still need technique and skills. On the other hand if you are too small, technique and skill won't make sense. But it also depends on the woman he is with, because every woman's size is different so it depends on the woman's body mass. Maybe she is too small and can't enjoy a large member while another woman would. I guess it would be the same for a small one.
But I can see where too small could be a problem. But there are women who don't really enjoy sex so much as they do the foreplay and the intimacy, so I guess in cases like those, small wouldn't really matter.

Ideal size: 7 - 9 inches (needs to have girth).

Marcia, 39: Size matters of course but only if its average size, nothing to cause pain and nothing that you can sleep through. Some men think women enjoy a huge penis and the pain that sometimes goes with it, but that is not so. Yes you want to feel something, but that something should be good and pleasurable, not painful to the point that for days you can't walk.
Ideal size: 5 - 6 inches.

'Jamaica Lacks Breast-Cancer Screening Policy'

THE ABSENCE of a national policy on breast-cancer screening is hampering the island's fight against the disease, say officials at the Jamaica Cancer Society (JCS).

Speaking at a symposium at the Mona Visitors' Lodge yesterday, Carol Blair, administrative director at the JCS, said although her organisation had recorded increasing numbers of women being screened for the disease, the drafting of an official, cohesive policy on breastcancer screening would be a game changer.

The Cancer Society facilitated 8,000 screenings in 2009, a 33.3 per cent improvement on the 6,000 who underwent testing in 2008.

Dr Deria Cornwall, president of the Jamaica Association of Radiologists, said nations like the United Kingdom have had an official policy as the fulcrum of its programmes for years, and argued that the war against breast cancer in Jamaica was compromised because women have not been engaged on a national level.

"We need a national breast-cancer screening service that invites women, when they reach a certain age, to come in and be screened," Cornwall said.

"In the UK, when women are born, they enter a national system, they are sensitised from an early age."

She also criticised the one-size-fits-all model suggested by a report from the United States Preventive Services Task Force, a group that focuses on mitigating diseases.

The task force's report has recommended that breast-cancer testing start at 50 years old, but Cornwall said Jamaican women, who are mainly of African descent, are more susceptible to earlier cases of breast cancer.

Said she: "Black women, due to genetic and other unknown factors, are more likely to develop breast cancer at an earlier age, as well as to get a triple negative cancer."

Triple negative cancer case is a particularly highly developed cancer stage which often leads to death.

The island's earliest report of breast cancer is 18 years old. There have also been reports of women as young as 23 developing the disease.

"So many of the reasons black women develop breast cancer early is unknown, which is why we need to promote early screening and this needs to be facilitated through a programme not only for Jamaica, but for the rest of the Caribbean," she said.

The JCS has been operating primarily on the kindness of corporate Jamaica, membership fees, volunteers and other private sponsors.

According to Blair, the Cancer Society's mobile screening programme is being threatened by a dwindling funding pool.

"We want to go on the road and take the screening to women in the rural communities but we are not able to help enough women due to resource limitations," said Blair.

patrina.pink@gleanerjm.com