"we muss tek wah we get" (we must take what we get or what comes to us)
A clearly upset sister to the flirtee continued with a questions to the effect that why would someone do such a thing and not tell who you are before hand? This to me seems like anger coming from the mainstream perception that homosexuals are trying to change everybody else into gays as well so an innocent flirt could lead to big trouble if this is not allowed to die down soon or sorted out properly. Reports from the woman (flirtee) sister suggest the butch lesbian who they thought was a man approached her for a dance and spent almost the rest of the life of the event courting her albeit with a deep voice which did not suggest he was in fact a "she"
The flirtee's sister said she did notice that other females would approach or beckon to her upon arriving at the venue or passing by which suggested (s)he was well known and liked but in hindset she commented that men usually have other men or "bredrens" who under normal would also say hello or hail their friend as is customary in our homosocial tendencies in male networking by local standards.
Word has since come that the male relatives in particular of the flirtee have been up in arms since news spread and that a hunt is on for anything that can identify her as it is said "they want to talk to her" I do not like where this is going and my sister butch or stud we need to be cognisant that an innocent flirt to you can and may lead to something else that was not intended, here now we may very well end up with a case of lesbophobia turning ugly to violence which I hope doesn't happen. The flirtee's sister though a little angered by the turn of events since the disclosure and obvious sharing of the information by the flirtee to others was very careful in our conversation to say she was not condemning all of us just those who are not honest and "trick people" she continued "... a nuh everybody like dem tings deh my yute, we noh seh lesbian deh a party and dance but nuh so brave."
The other side of the coin also is did the butch have to disclose? or maybe she figured that doing so based on the flirtee's personality at the time she may not have reacted negatively.
Should she (the butch) have left the issue just as a flirt for one night and not pursue the following days? I say yes but you may have a different take. This is not the first time occasions such as these have occurred but I guess not written on for analysis.
Given Jamaica's sensitive nature with regards to homosexuality should one flirt openly with a possible heterosexual subject in a public space without disclosure?
Is there an ethical dilemma when one flirts openly without proper gender disclosure?
Is one risking ones safety when one chances non disclosure then chooses to disclose afterwards?
Just some questions that come to mind given the recent upward trends in attacks verbal and physical towards same gender loving women, in this instance I think the word "must" is needed as safety is tantamount to all else, we must be careful when taking on these risky behaviuour in public, in private that's another matter, at best subject and flirter can be in control of their actions and manage the situations better. The perception of the flirter being dishonest with ulterior motives as hinted to above coupled with perceived predatory practices of gays may not help the flirter in the long run.
Think before we act please, there is certainly more to come on this subject of disclosure or coming out.
Peace and tolerance
H
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