Tell Me Pastor responds to Disowned because of my bisexual lifestyle letter writer

It is been a while since I paid much attention to pastor Dumas's column in the Star News as I am still convinced that some of those letters are not real or edited in such as way to gain readership, now comes this entry on what is supposed to be a dejected bisexual and if we are to go by the Pastor's day job as a psychologist then he ought to have known that homosexuality has been removed from the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, DSM long ago, 1973 in fact and that his personal religious views must never conflict with his profession.

Check out the letter firstly then his response below:

Dear Pastor,

I am a constant reader of your column and find your work very interesting. I believe the advice you give is accurate and straight to the point, so I am requesting your advice.

I am an 18-year-old male, living with my grandmother. most of my family is aware of the fact that I am bisexual. Ever since they found out, I have been expressing a do-not- care attitude to the world, meaning I don't care what anyone else thinks.

I am living my life the way I want to. I am a pre-university student. Before the Christmas holiday, I started to make some bad decisions. Apart from the life I live, I started to party every weekend and during the week, sometimes.

I have been consuming a lot of alcohol and smoking (not ganja)

Recently, my mother came from Canada and heard that I was with my boyfriend, coming from a club. My mother did not know of my sexuality.

We could not get a cab but, luckily, I saw my aunt and she took us home. She told my mother everything she saw.

My mom claimed she has disowned me. However, she never took care of me in the first place, so I don't let that be a bother to me.

I am indecisive as to what to do next because, in addition to my family knowing my lifestyle, the community I live in knows as well.

Please, express your thoughts on this matter.

Yours truly

Proudly confused
Pastor's response

Dear Proudly confused,

What are you proud about? If it is the lifestyle you love, why are you confused? You said you are bisexual and some of your relatives now know what you are doing. Your mother has decided to disown you. It is unfortunate she has taken that position. I suppose it has come as a shock to her.

Perhaps you do not believe what the Bible says about homosexuality. The Bible does not sanction that type of lifestyle. I can never encourage you to continue to make love with a person of your own sex. You may reject my suggestions but I believe God is able to change you. If you are determined to serve him, nothing is impossible for God to do.

I would, therefore, suggest you seriously consider seeing a Christian family counsellor or psychologist for professional help. I will be praying for you and I ask my readers to do the same.

Pastor

ENDS

So a Christian counsellor even in the face of clear evidence that homosexuality is not a disorder, really Pastor Duman? The repeated use of the word "lifestyle" in both the supposed letter and response is suspicious and disturbing as psychologists who are properly trained and even advocates who are exposed know that we are dealing with sexual orientation here as the "letter writer" did not give an indication of someone going through a phase or operation behaviourally bisexual which suggests they would be in such a practice merely for the fun of it due to previous same sex exposure in a situational setting or worse yet abuse.

We must call out these suspicious letters when we see them folks. A December 6th 2010 piece is available here from GLBTQ Jamaica Wordpress edition entitled "Tell Me Pastor" on bisexuality also treats bi issues as strange. Although we have gotten used to the pattern I think it is important to continue to track and point out these infractions coupled with the glaring inconsistencies at times as there are some folks who read Pastor Dumas's columns, blogs and follow his radio show ardently.

also see:

Tell Me Pastor column - 'Gay' problem 2010

Tell Me Pastor recomends Restorative Psychology to Lesbian 2009

Another "Tell Me Pastor" Letter, (real or not?)

See the "Tell Me Pastor" tab immediately below this post for previous entries here as well.

Peace and tolerance

H

Love on the Wire – A Jamaican Gay Love Story Book

By O’Brien Dennis

“Love on the Wire – A Jamaican Gay Love Story” is a love story set in Jamaica to challenge the class structure and the stereotype of a gay man. It suggests that a person who discovers that he is same-gender loving can dream, can aspire to love another of the same sex without fear of rejection and reprisals.

While this is a work of fiction, the aim is to change the view of homosexuals and homosexuality in a society with its cultural and religious norms, against the patina established by colonial masters, and to have readers enter into conversations about moving from tolerance, if it exists, to acceptance without reservation.

The book encourages the reader to examine him or herself and in the process, have an honest conversation about homosexuality, bi-sexuality, religion, politics, male sexual abuse and the prevailing stigma surrounding an HIV infection. It is my hope that readers, if they are heterosexual, or even if homosexual, would take the time to reexamine what it means to be homosexual and to realize that everyone has a right to be who he or she is, and to live the best life possible without fear of persecution and prosecution.

Beres Hammond's song “Love On The Wire” was my inspiration and am reminded of the many times my body was cut while going through barbed wires, physical and emotional, for love of another of the same sex. To get a personalized signed copy click on the following link https://squareup.com/market/obrien-dennis/love-on-the-wire-1

Other posts from the author on sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch:

go here: The Cries of Men

About the Author

O'Brien Dennis was born and raised in Jamaica, where he was a victim of male sexual abuse. As the executive director of the O'Brien Dennis Foundation, he researches sexual abuse and provides a safe haven for survivors and their families. He lives in Westchester County in New York State and is also the author of The Cries of Men: Voices of Jamaican Men Who Have Been Raped and Sexually Abused.

go here: Understanding Male Sexual Abuse: Why Men Remain Silent additional suggested reading the current case of a leading civil servant accused of homo-paedophilia in essence here in Jamaica and the shifting circumstances.

see: 

Youth Ministry official accused of homo-paedophile acts takes Minister, OCA & Public Services Commission to court

Student gay sex video causes a stir in central Jamaica

It was only Sunday at the ongoing Enterprise Training exercise with some forty young LGBT persons in the Sexuality session that we were discussing this very issue of safety, the use of, storage of and safety of persons with sexual materials on devices. Encryptions, hard to detect or decipher passwords, turning off ones bluetooth so one's phone cannot be accessed.

The Star News reported yesterday March 17 the above headline

Two male students from a prominent high school in central Jamaica have been implicated in a sex video which is being circulated like wildfire in sections of rural Jamaica over recent weeks.

THE STAR has learnt that the video has been making the rounds especially in the community where the school is located and has not only been angering students and teachers, but also residents, especially those who have a close relationship with the institution.

It is learnt that the video, which can be seen on several cellular phones in central Jamaica, shows the two boys, who are said to be second-form students, having anal and oral sex.

It is understood that the disgusting sex video with the boys has angered scores of other students at the school and the two have been threatened that they will be beaten if they continue to show up on the school premises.

The boys, who were in their uniform in the sex video, are reportedly unable to move around on the school compound freely, as they are mocked, jeered, and even have implements thrown at them by other boys.

It is also understood that in an effort to avoid the students being beaten, the boys have been given protection by security personnel on the school compound.

THE STAR has learnt that other students are calling for the two to be removed from the institution.

The circulation of the video has followed closely on the heels of the circulation of another sex video involving female students from another central Jamaica high school some weeks ago. That video also caused a stir across the island and angered residents of the community where the institution is located.

ENDS

Sadly another one has occurred it was only earlier this year another such reported case of gay sex by teens came about but was not carried in the Star, the protection and storage of such sensitive sex tapes as it were is a cause for concern as some persons do not seem to understand the ease of manipulation of said materials with hackers and around and as indicated above open source access unbeknownst to the instrument's owner such as bluetooth access. How did the video leak is unclear but I strongly suspect it was lifted from the phone by some other party who knew of or came across it while hacking the device as has happened before. I gather that some intervention has been enacted but whether they will be moved or if their parents will continue cordial relations with them is unclear, I fear another case or cases of displacement coming from this.

flashback to 2006 at the University of the West Indies

A section of a large crowd which gathered to witness the beating of a man at the UWI campus yesterday. - ANDREW WILDES Right: The windscreen of a police vehicle which was shattered by one of the many stones flung at the police by students after the police rescued a man accused of being a homosexual. We have seen similar cases on campuses and schools one can remember the Dunoon High matter and the father of a gay youth who came to out him literally setting other students to beat him. 

In 2010 a case of a tertiary level student who had to flee due to a leaked tape as well:

then ..........

A third-year student of a tertiary level institution was forced to flee the dorm and the school recently, after a tape on which he allegedly confessed his homosexuality was released around the campus via bluetooth technology.

THE STAR was informed that the student, Pedro Lee*, who was doing a guidance-counselling course, was tricked into revealing his secret lifestyle by another student who pretended to be gay and secured the trust and confidence of the young man.

The tape, which made its rounds on the campus in late November into early December, was about 30 minutes long and involved the student sharing deep secrets and fantasies with the boy he thought was his new-found friend.

One student of the institution told THE STAR that Lee was a popular student, who was involved in several extra-curricular activities. She said, "He was involved in a lot of things, basically all the religious clubs". Lee lived on campus, where he also participated in many activities.

On the tape, the conversation suggests that Lee and the student had made previous plans to meet at a hotel, and Lee expressed his disappointment that the student did not turn up. The student also asked Lee how those around him would react if they knew he was gay, to which he responded that many would be shocked and upset.

Lee also declares the things he would do to the student if they ever had the chance to be alone, saying he would lick him "from the toes straight up". The student also coerced Lee into sharing the names of those he found attractive.

Obviously convinced that the student was someone to be trusted, Lee revealed that he had a crush on his roommate, but admitted that he could not make a move as his roommate "is not into those type of things."

Further into the conversation things got a bit more graphic.

Students of the institution told THE STAR that Lee, after realising that his secret was out, fled the hall and also stopped attending his classes and failed to show up for his exams. On his Facebook page, he is seen wearing church attire and appears to be quite interested in Christianity.
*Name Changed

ENDS

Please be vigilant out there folks

Peace and tolerance

H

Lesbians who Tech Summit USA

The recently concluded Lesbians Who Tech summit has a Jamaican there who shared some highlights from the meetings with me; forgive me if I do not share photos of the Jamaican representative but due to safety reasons as she requested I will respect.

Over 800 queer women at the Lesbians Who Tech summit, held on February 28 in Castro Street Theatre in San Francisco. Founded in 2012 by Leanne Pittsford, the summit and monthly gatherings focus on increasing visibility and tech participation of queer women. The summit highlighted the next generation of queer women that are technical leaders as well as those who have paved our way.

The front of Castro Street Theatre was buzzing with enthusiasm early Friday morning. Volunteers were ready and eager to check in media, sponsors, speakers and attendees. Check-in was a seamless process through mobile phones. Once inside, there were bottles of water, coffee and pastries available. We loved the gender neutral “Whichever” restroom signs.

We were pleased to see some great sponsors there, including GE Software, Linkedin, Walmart Labs and Chevrolet, which provided a “recharge lounge” where we could charge our phones and laptops.

After an impressive and, at times, hilarious slideshow showing the diversity of queer women, Leanne Pittsford came onstage to welcome everyone and spoke about how she started Lesbians Who Tech. During the morning “skit”, she shared wine with the event’s emcee and her Platonic Partner for Life (PPL) Taryn Miller-Stevens (Business Development, TouchPoints). The room came alive with excitement as they talked about what was planned during the three-day summit.

The morning sessions featured an amazing lineup of speakers including Kathryn Finney (Founder, digitalundivided), Ann Mei Chang (Former Senior Advisor for Women and Technology, US Dept of State & Current Chief Innovation Officer, Mercy Corps), Sara Sperling (Diversity & Inclusion, Facebook), Lisa Sherman (Executive Vice President and General Manager Logo TV, Viacom Media Networks), Danielle Feinberg (Director of Photography, Pixar), Kronda Adair (a Programmer who crowdfunded her way to the summit), Erica Anderson (Twitter, Product Marketing, Pro Users), and Kathy Levinson, (Former COO, eTrade).

Sara Sperling, Diversity & Inclusion at Facebook

There were a couple of pitch sessions where spokespersons/founders were given three to five minutes to give an elevator speech of their organizations. The first pitch session, “Social Good Pitches” gave five social good organizations several minutes to share how they are using technology to change the world for women, the LGBT community and people of color. It resulted in an impromptu “crowdfunding” from the attendees. Megan Smith (Vice President at Google[x]) offered $25,000 with one caveat, each conference attendee give to the non-profits for the rest of our lives. The funds were split equally between Code2040, AllOut, Chicana Latina Foundation, National Center for Lesbians Rights, and Astraea Lesbian Foundation for Justice. It was an amazing feeling knowing that we are supporting each other’s causes and helping each other rise up.

Around lunch time, attendees had the option of six breakout sessions located at various locations. These were pre-determined in the registration and were color-coded on our badges. Topics varied between Coders Connect at Catch Restaurant hosted by Google, Ignite Sessions Lunch at the theater hosted by SAP, Fireside Chat: Where Are the Women Investors?: Why We Need More Women to Become Investors at the theater, Meet + Greet + Eat: Queers in Media at Firewood Cafe and Leveraging LinkedIn to Enhance Your Professional Brand at Dante’s Table Restaurant hosted by LinkedIn.

We participated in the Ignite Sessions Lunch where we heard five –minute presentations hosted by Moya Watson (Innovation Product Manager, SAP). The topics touched upon LGBT leadership at work, utilizing a hashtag to start a movement, ensuring diversity in recruiting and sharing our hope for the future of women in technology.

The afternoon sessions included Heather Hiles (Founder & CEO, Pathbrite) and Jana Rich (Managing Director, Russell Reynolds). Hiles reflected on innovations as a founder. She spoke about giving it all and taking action for our careers. “ Why not go for big if you’re going to put in all the effort anyway”, said Hiles. Rich spoke about the importance of digital women and our power to transform boards in organizations.

The second pitch session, The Entrepreneur Pitch, gave five amazing lesbian entrepreneurs a chance to pitch their companies and applications they are building in front of a panel of judges including investors and fellow entrepreneurs. The presenters included Allie Esslinger (Section II), Krys Freeman (HellaRides), Robyn Exton (Dattch) and Rachel Wolan (YadaZing). The competition was judged by Jordan Crook (TechCrunch, Reporter), Christie George (New Media Ventures), Dave McClure (500 Startups) and Amanda Reed (Palomar Ventures & Astia). A highlight of the pitch competition was Dave McClure telling Robyn Exton (Dattch), “we should talk”, a huge and very public nod of approval from an investor.

The winner of the Entrepreneur Pitch Session, Robyn Exton from Dattch (third from left), with emcee Taryn Miller-Stevens, Leanne Pittsford (Founder Lesbians Who Tech) , Jordan Crook (TechCrunch), Amanda Reed (Palomar Ventures), Christie George (New Media Ventures), and Dave McClure (500 Startups)

After the comedic break, Dattch, a dating and social network for lesbians, bisexual and bicurious women was announced as the winner of the $2,500 competition. After honing its product in London, it officially launched in San Francisco, the day of the summit. It draws comparison with Pinterest in user interface with its emphasis on photos. Unlike Grindr, it’s not a proximity-based social networking app. We found it funny when the emcee made several jokes throughout the night about the real reason many of the women were there, to find other nerdy/techie/geeky queer women to date! We weren’t surprised at the interest in Dattch because of the techie crowd. Although it currently caters to bisexual and lesbian women, the app may expand to include trans*, genderqueer individuals and non-binary folks.

The afternoon keynotes were a real highlight, where some real heavy hitters shared their stories and point of view. Megan Smith (Google[x) encouraged attendees to strive for “moonshot thinking”; Kara Swisher (re/code.net) assured women that it’s OK to be frustrated, and you can use that frustration to propel you to greatness; and Danae Ringelmann (Indiegogo) talked about how to create a culture that has meaning and encourages the best in employees.

More HERE as well