Bisexuals still seen as confused

Sadly every time it draws to this time of year as bi-visibility day approaches and social marketing on the subject is raised more so internationally the local biphobic LGTQ penny section crawl out of the woodwork blasting bisexuals as mad, not knowing what they want, being greedy or wanting their cake and eating it too and other scaving remarks. Trolling even has crept into the mix on social media and with an apparent lack by the various spokespersons and nongovernmental organizations who claim to deal with SOGI, Sexual orientation and gender identity clearly overlook bisexuals and zoom in on gay and lesbian identities predominantly.

Bi-invisibity has been an issue for some time now, decades in fact since formalized advocacy in Jamaica since 1974 with the formation of Gay Freedom Movement. The very name of GFM is a clear overlooking and even as then in those days newspaper articles especially by Jennifer Ffrench on the subject for several years bisexuality has not risen to the level of equal importance as it should in as far as visibility and such. Major reference only comes with associations with HIV infection rates and how the group acts as a barrier for transmission on the HIV virus as evidenced recently in a speech by our minister of health Dr Fenton Ferguson at a meeting of funders and stake holders where some figures were presented. Previous references come from voices for the removal or decriminalization of the buggery law in as far as HIV prevention as the primary reason by Dr Peter Figueroa at that Sexual Health Awareness meeting on November 2013 where he went into great detail on the last major study and emphasized the point.

Smaller outfits such as the defunct Couture Elements team hosted some discussion on the matter and even in those supposed safe LGBT spaced the vitriol towards bisexuals was clear as the very night of one of the Open Mic Open Soul event heated words were exchanged from one lesbian and a member of the panel with the thing almost coming to blows. A recent discussion at another all women group at a lyme also had a similar outcome with the panellist in that instance almost next to tears as she could not believe the contempt that was held in the what is called straight lesbian community.

Other outfits such as Aphrodite’s P.R.I.D.E Jamaica made sure the issues were addressed in their successful Seizmic Self Development and Enterprise Project Sessions for some 45 persons but as always with such small outfits they get no help from the more established LGBT organizations and or funding disappears for them so continuity is a major issue for such exercises.

The former GLABCOM gay, lesbian and bisexual community steering committees (an imprint of targeted interventions of JASL) and general LGBT meetings discussions tried its hand even getting key influentials involved such as a popular female party promoter but as usual again no real support comes from the main NGO structure and the emphasis ended up becoming more on HIV in the MSM community but mainly gay men via condom use and such and again bisexuals only limited to being a bridge for the virus’ passage to the general population. One event planned which was dubbed Bi-Fridays was conceptualized to try to attract such persons but very little response came as persons felt they would be identified and labelled mixed with ridicule.

Social media interventions via discussion boards, questions posed in groups and threads only seek to bring out the trolls and bitterness that seemed buried waiting to be stoked by the thought of suggesting bisexuality, how can we change that though? Even my own blog posts have received a backlash from persons asking why persons like myself and a few others even discussing bisexuality. So our bi brethren go underground. A recent thread on Facebook proved such that such anti bisexual sentiments still abound and coming from not only younger gay men and lesbians but rather surprisingly older persons which had me and some others sit up and take notice. But I should not be shocked as sometimes last year a former female party promoter and one half of the aforementioned Couture Elements team bore a daughter and shared her joy on Facebook only to be lambasted by persons on her friends list to the shock and horror of those who saw it and left an ugly feeling for some advocates former and present.

Comments to such effect as how can a lesbian go dickly? Or questions as to why she would share this openly knowing how persons can be downright rude and uncaring or what would a woman see in a man and or a penis for pleasure?

I would imagine prolonged awareness programs are required but sadly inwardly for the folks who believe in the one way or the other mantra in terms of homosexuality. Individuals who are otherwise enlightened can continue to share the right information but there is a definite need for more systematic interventions that are sustained and not stop and start activities. But community development in a real sense has never really been the main objective as law reform takes precedence than other matters that require urgent attention.

Think on these things

Peace and tolerance

also see:

Bisexuals accounted for 40 per cent of new HIV infections in 2012

H

Suicide Prevention, Concerns & the loss of a friend

Suicide Prevention Day passed earlier this month September 10 to be precise and the theme observed this year was Light a candle near a window at 8 PM to show your support
for suicide prevention to remember a lost loved one and for the survivors of suicide.

On my sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch upon my blogging break end I posted my return entry with some bad news of the loss of one of my original followers from the days of the JFLAG blog and Sunshine Cathedral blog as well, Mark Holford took his own life and surprisingly as no signs of trouble were seen as is usually the case as friends and colleagues mull over recent contact for any details they may have missed as to the signs. Other cases have since emerged with another two successful attempts within the same month of Mark’s departure. He had been a major supporter of mine from the NING page days as well through to the name and focus change of both blogs mentioned above to become this blog and Gay Jamaica Watch and the subsequent Wordpress branch and my X-rated Battymantings blog as well. He was often a strong commenter and contributor to my Facebook groups and pages and his presence will be missed greatly. He was also a donor behind the scenes in crisis intervention matters where he could and aided in providing financial help in shelter assistance for displaced persons when I used to house persons in my spare bedroom more often than nowadays, grocery stipends and health services costs.

Some six reports in all have been brought to my attention this year alone and with depression figures high in Jamaica overall according to a recent report there are some concerns. Relationship challenges, family rejections, forced evictions and such specific to LGBT people are key factors leading to all kinds of ways out; a recent report of cutting (hand slicing with a knife or sharp instrument) with prolonged hemorrhaging leading to unconsciousness and possible death have been attempted by a lesbian in February where she was found by visiting friends who also were shocked at the find as no signs existed prior.

There are some signs however that one can look for as suggested by the website for suicide prevention:

Understanding and preventing suicide

The World Health Organization estimates that approximately 1 million people die each year from suicide. What drives so many individuals to take their own lives? To those not in the grips of suicidal depression and despair, it's difficult to understand what drives so many individuals to take their own lives. But a suicidal person is in so much pain that he or she can see no other option.

Suicide is a desperate attempt to escape suffering that has become unbearable. Blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness, and isolation, a suicidal person can't see any way of finding relief except through death. But despite their desire for the pain to stop, most suicidal people are deeply conflicted about ending their own lives. They wish there was an alternative to committing suicide, but they just can't see one.

Common misconceptions about suicide

FALSE: People who talk about suicide won't really do it.
Almost everyone who commits or attempts suicide has given some clue or warning. Do not ignore suicide threats. Statements like "you'll be sorry when I'm dead," "I can't see any way out," — no matter how casually or jokingly said may indicate serious suicidal feelings.

FALSE: Anyone who tries to kill him/herself must be crazy.
Most suicidal people are not psychotic or insane. They must be upset, grief-stricken, depressed or despairing, but extreme distress and emotional pain are not necessarily signs of mental illness.

FALSE: If a person is determined to kill him/herself, nothing is going to stop them.
Even the most severely depressed person has mixed feelings about death, wavering until the very last moment between wanting to live and wanting to die. Most suicidal people do not want death; they want the pain to stop. The impulse to end it all, however overpowering, does not last forever.

FALSE: People who commit suicide are people who were unwilling to seek help.
Studies of suicide victims have shown that more than half had sought medical help in the six months prior to their deaths.

FALSE: Talking about suicide may give someone the idea.
You don't give a suicidal person morbid ideas by talking about suicide. The opposite is true—bringing up the subject of suicide and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.

Source: SAVE – Suicide Awareness Voices of Education
Warning signs of suicide

Most suicidal individuals give warning signs or signals of their intentions. The best way to prevent suicide is to recognize these warning signs and know how to respond if you spot them. If you believe that a friend or family member is suicidal, you can play a role in suicide prevention by pointing out the alternatives, showing that you care, and getting a doctor or psychologist involved.

Major warning signs for suicide include talking about killing or harming oneself, talking or writing a lot about death or dying, and seeking out things that could be used in a suicide attempt, such as weapons and drugs. These signals are even more dangerous if the person has a mood disorder such as depression or bipolar disorder, suffers from alcohol dependence, has previously attempted suicide, or has a family history of suicide.

Take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It's not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide—it's a cry for help.

A more subtle but equally dangerous warning sign of suicide is hopelessness. Studies have found that hopelessness is a strong predictor of suicide. People who feel hopeless may talk about "unbearable" feelings, predict a bleak future, and state that they have nothing to look forward to.

Other warning signs that point to a suicidal mind frame include dramatic mood swings or sudden personality changes, such as going from outgoing to withdrawn or well-behaved to rebellious. A suicidal person may also lose interest in day-to-day activities, neglect his or her appearance, and show big changes in eating or sleeping habits.
Suicide Warning Signs

Talking about suicide

Any talk about suicide, dying, or self-harm, such as "I wish I hadn't been born," "If I see you again..." and "I'd be better off dead."

Seeking out lethal means

Seeking access to guns, pills, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.

Preoccupation with death

Unusual focus on death, dying, or violence. Writing poems or stories about death.

No hope for the future

Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped ("There's no way out"). Belief that things will never get better or change.

Self-loathing, self-hatred

Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Feeling like a burden ("Everyone would be better off without me").

Getting affairs in order

Making out a will. Giving away prized possessions. Making arrangements for family members.

Saying goodbye

Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family and friends. Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.

Withdrawing from others

Withdrawing from friends and family. Increasing social isolation. Desire to be left alone.

Self-destructive behavior

Increased alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex. Taking unnecessary risks as if they have a "death wish."

Sudden sense of calm

A sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed can mean that the person has made a decision to commit suicide.