Should I Tell Him About My Lesbian Affair?

Another question came in to the doctor on the Gleaner's health page and I wondered. If the answer makes sense, the question is as follows:

Question: 

Hello, Doc. I am 20 years old, and I have just got engaged to a wonderful guy, who is a newly qualified doctor. We have been having sex for around three months, and I have no problems in that area. He is good in bed.

But what is making me fret is this. Four years ago, when I was 16, I had a brief sexual relationship with another girl of the same age. I suppose you could call it an affair.

It only lasted about two weeks. It started with what is called a 'teenage crush'. Then there was a little kissing and breast-touching. Finally, we went to bed, which we did about four to five times. I did not know how to behave at all, but I do remember that she made me orgasm on three occasions. 

I did not understand what was happening to me.

Then it all stopped - mainly because my mother caught us naked in my bedroom, kissing each other. She got mad, and told the other girl's mom. Shortly afterwards, they left the island. I think they live in America now, but I have never been in contact with her and do not want to be in touch.

Don't get me wrong, Doc. I have no lesbian feelings now. I do not want to go with other women, but I want to know if I should tell my fiance about what I did with that girl?

here is the answer

A. Well, studies in the US have shown that a sizeable minority of teenage female students have brief relationships of this sort with other girls. Generally, it is quite a short-lived phase.

So you are far from unusual in having had a short spell of sexual contact with another teenage girl. You would be perfectly justified now in forgetting all about it.

First, should you tell your fiance? At the moment, I can see no good reasons for doing so.

Please understand that men can react in various ways to being told about a spot of lesbianism in the distant past. Some guys get excited about it; others are appalled.

As far as I can see, the only person in Jamaica who knows about that teenage 'crush' of four years ago is your mother, and it does not seem very likely that she is going to start telling people about it.

All in all, I guess you should 'let sleeping dogs lie'.

ENDS

If sexuality is so fluid and discussions indeed understandings of polyamory these days the answer from the goodly doctor seems a little dated to me as it is predicated on the old construct of experimentation while sticking to hetero-normative sexual relations.

What do you think about this one?

In  previous post (Am I a Lesbian?) I had suggested an online test maybe this one can work for this person as well. Or she can try a true professional on this.

Keep chatting folks, there is an online testing mechanism as captioned (I don't know if it actually works) but it seems interesting: Are you uncertain a about your sexual orientation? Than this is the quiz for you! Upon completion, you will find out weather you are straight, bi-curious, bisexual or lesbian: CLICK HERE

What if she is actually bisexual too?

also see:

Sexuality What is Yours? 2015

When Your Lesbian Partner is a Survivor of Sexual Abuse or Incest

On sexual orientation .. "homosexuality and bisexuality are natural phenomenon of the manifestation .......

When she chooses the other woman (third party in a str8 couple's bed)

Peace & tolerance

H

WPATH Results of Member Survey on Gender Incongruence of Childhood (GIC) Diagnosis

Results of Member Survey on Gender Incongruence of Childhood (GIC) Diagnosis for ICD-11

As WPATH members may recall, a survey was conducted in last December and January to tap members’ views on WHO proposals for a Gender Incongruence of Childhood diagnosis, to be employed with children below the age of puberty, and to be placed in ICD-11 (alongside a Gender Incongruence of Adolescence and Adulthood diagnosis) in a chapter called ‘Conditions Related to Sexual Health.” You may recall that much of the debate on the GIC proposal has focused on whether there should be a disease diagnosis for young children exploring their identity, and learning to become comfortable expressing it. The survey examined members’ views concerning the GIC proposal, as well as on an alternative framework employing non-pathologising Z Codes.

Two hundred and forty one members completed the survey. The survey indicated an even split among members regarding the GIC proposal (51.1% opposing and 47.7% supporting the proposal). However, non-US members were overall opposed to the proposal (63.9% opposing, 36.1% supporting). In the event of the proposed diagnosis entering ICD, members were in favor of the proposed name (51.0% versus 13.7% opposed) and the proposed location (41.1% versus 7.5% supporting the idea that it is classified as a mental disorder). Among those expressing a view about Z Codes, there was substantial overall support for their use in healthcare provision for children with gender issues (35.7% of the sample supporting, versus 8.3% rejecting). Support was evident, not only among those who oppose the WHO GIC proposal, but also among those who support it. The support was evident regardless of geographical location, time spent working in trans healthcare, or client age group. WPATH will take account of the results of the membership survey in future communications with WHO on this matter.

A paper including discussion of these results has been submitted for journal publication. If and when the full paper is published, the WPATH Office will issue an announcement to the membership with details.

WPATH Members may also be interested to know that on September 8, 2015, the European Parliament adopted a report (the Ferrara Report on the situation of fundamental rights in the European Union, available athttp://www.europarl.europa.eu/plenary/en/report-details.html?reference=A8-0230-2015) which calls on the European Commission and Member States to provide better models to protect human rights, including the human rights of LGBTI people. In particular, the Commission is called to prevent gender variance in childhood from becoming a new ICD diagnosis. The report also “deplores the fact that transgender people are still considered mentally ill in the majority of Member States and calls on them to review national mental health catalogues, while ensuring that medically necessary treatment remains available for all trans people;” (89), among other provisions that protect the rights and dignity of transgender people.

The press release PDF from Transgender Europe (TGEU) concerning this report and the European Parliament’s position will be posted on the WPATH web site for download, and is available through the link below.

HERE

WPATH Symposium 

June 17-21, 2016

Amsterdam, Netherlands

Abstracts and Mini-Symposia Announcement

SUBMISSIONS FOR PROPOSALS ARE NOW OPEN!!

Please click here to book your hotel at the Double Tree

Complete program and online registration will be available soon

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