Sexual Assault of a same sex nature ............

To think that the post just prior to this one dealt with assault directed at our female same gender lovers now comes confirmed news that a male same gender lover was abused on the last day of Sexual Assault Month April 30 and thanks to the readers who keep me abreast of this story that occurred in St Ann by four men but it started out as a one on one meeting when a hookup built on the strength of six months of online conversations via Adam4Adam gay chat/linkup site with BB and telephone connections as well to boot moved forward to the next stage.

Long term conversation and e-lationships with persons who you may think you know do not necessarily means that the parties on the other end can be trusted as previous incidents similar to this has brought to bear one can check my previous entries on tips to do a hookup and fallout from such via Facebook on my sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch. There were also three cases of hookups via Adam for Adam that went terribly wrong as well in Portmore, Ocho Rios and Kingston now this case is the first as far as I can confirm but it shows a propensity for this sort of fallout to occur. My own experience has taught me this too but my strategy as I am from the old school is to change you agreed recognizing attire before the actual face to face meeting and I prefer to meet in a park or so where if it is suspicious I can beat a hasty retreat in terms of online e-lations as for my more gangster type meetings which I prefer I have my unique strategy which I won't reveal via this entry. Here are some tips (edited) I shared on an old post from GJW linked at the bottom of the post on Facebook outings:

1. Decide on what clothing and colour or change colours previously agreed to if you are not sure of the individual you are going to meet
2. Study your surroundings when there and get there early 
3. Find an open area such as a park at first preferably instead of a home or hotel so as to avoid any untoward attack and that too can avoid the need to get into the sack too quickly
4. Plan your possible route(s) of escape if necessary
5. Have a weapon of some sort or maze that can create a distraction then escape as quickly as possible
6. Have a trusted friend accompany you if possible and have them away from the actual meeting spot but make sure they can see you
7. Make a call if needed to the person(s) who followed you and keep the line open so they can hear your conversation and call for help elsewhere if needed
8. If possible and where necessary have this TRUSTED third party/witness capture the moment via video or stream so as to make sure it is an authentic meeting/hookup

With the increased online presence of younger gay and bisexual Jamaican men in particular they have been making use of the covert identities it can allow persons to operate under but that same covertness can hide lurkers who have ulterior motives as this case has brought to bear. Some of the activities associated with this case are to ghastly to present here and I will not attempt to upset you my readers but suffice it to say there were the following:

1) Penile activity involving forced oral sex on the part of the victim on all four perpetrators

2) The illusion of the victim going to meet one person but ended up being set upon by three other persons unannounced

3) The four perpetrators (including the persons who lured the victim to the entrapment) used typical Jamaican anti homosexual terms to launch their attack on their victim but ended up forcing him to perform related activities

4) The perpetrators reportedly recorded sections of the abuse and has threatened the life of the victim who is in his late twenties

5) The men robbed the victim of his Blackberry, cash and jewelry

Fortunately he did not disclose his whereabouts or where he resides directly so no immediate harm could or should befall him post this attack however he would be wise to be circumspect when travelling just in case. He is said to be in calm spirits given the ordeal and thankfully there was no penetrative activity to create any major physiological damage but mentally I am certain though showing signs of calm on the outside he must be reeling from the fact that he never bargained for this to happen. 

A similar robbery occurred last year (barring the sexual assault bit) as well of a male teacher whose BB was also stolen and a blackmail attempt was carried out where the perpetrators demanded $150,000 or else an erotic video of the phone's former owner was the dangling carrot in this matter which was similar to any assault as it was personal assault, it took months for him via a professional counselor along with family and friends to get him just to talk about it and move on as literally every car horn would make him go crazy fearing the men were coming for him. 

For months on end the gentleman was stalked. (thanks to the gentlemen in these cases for allowing me to share aspects of the sensitive information)

I can give countless scenarios but the point is that we have weird community challenges out there for MSM and to think the whole homophobic psyche presented itself yet the men carried out this act with full erections suggest we have some serious psychiatric concerns here. Is this similar to the male rape that takes place in prisons where psychological control is the motivator with overtones of macho-ism or machismo and sex is used to belittle or imprison the victim? Bearing in mind this was a consensual up to when the visit to the space where the Adam4Adam profile owner had set up this meeting and invited his guest turned victim was joined by unannounced company.

The notion as well of gay men having more material wealth thus they are ripe for the picking seems to be included in this case as the conversations surrounding the ordeal tended towards what the victim supposedly had on hi persons of value included his bank cards which were demanded. This kind of gay on gay violence and extortion in my view is becoming an issue as other such cases though involving ill gotten gains via the alleged lotto scamming ring have also seen similar demands placed on suspected scammers who it is thought still have wealth even after the legislation has been passed recently to clamp down on the practice. A car and other electrical items were reported stolen from a house of a prominent queen just two months ago which have many persons concerned despite her brothers and other male relatives being protective of her but at the time of the heist no one was home which many speculated the house was being watched and was targeted.

All in all the main point of this case though is for persons to be very aware be they males or females as sexual assault is not a respecter of persons. In 2010 it was on this blog also I carried an entry on a rape ring that was eventually smashed in St Catherine and parts of Clarendon and while the victims were female they were "lured" to a now defunct Rainbowvibes site via a profile proporting to be owned by a female, a long standing conversation ensued both on the site's chatbox as well as on other chat platforms such as the now defunct MSN Chat where I was privy to the automatically saved exchanges by the one of the women who was smart enough to do so by adjusting her settings to save interactions. All this trust building led to a meeting which in the end led to the trap that was set where two women were sexually assaulted in the St. Catherine area, the case fizzled in court as one of the accused did not follow up on her report although the identification parade nabbed the main suspect, he got 29 years in total as previous charges on which he was on bail caught up with him. One of the challenges in tracking such crimes is that lesbians and bisexual women who fall prey to this scourge continue to under-report their issues as they feel for the most part the male dominated LGBT or GLBT entities will not address their needs. Also see the "Corrective Rape" tab below this post for all previous entries on the matter thus far as documented on this blog. I surmise that there are similar unreported cases in male committed assaults on other males too, we may never have a true handle on these matters even the more formal systems for that matter.

Keeping our friend in my prayers and hope he is able to rebuild quickly and move on learning from this episode and is able to educate others on navigating social media and possible dangers.

also see: Facebook unintentional outings to family members and Another young gay man is outed via Facebook from Gay Jamaica Watch. There are several unconfirmed reports of other challenges, outings and even forced evictions caused by or regarding navigating social media such as Facebook most persons simply absorb the ordeal as a mistake and move on keeping it secret as it were for fear of ridicule by others and also a feeling that their issue won't be addressed by the powers that be.

Be vigilant be safe

Peace and tolerance 

H

Sexual Assault Awareness Month .................

As Sexual Assault Awareness Month draws to a close and no other source locally seems to have taken on the issue frontally on as same gender loving women's issues get overlooked for other matters as usual over these many years I decided to do a list of tips to remind our SGL sisters in particular and their children perhaps to be on the look out for. These are not hard and fast rules but just a guide as one can fill in the rest easily based on ones own defence mechanism and monitoring of personal space etc. 

Vigilance is key these days and with several reports of missing sisters who are said to be part of the community concerns are rising by a few especially a new group called Quality Citizenship Jamaica who say their main focus is on older lesbian and bisexual women.

A short online survey they recently conducted suggested that there are many under-reported issues of sexual assault by women from their representative community. In a recent comment on Facebook by one of its founders claimed that 42% of those who participated experienced some sort of sexual violence. They are yet to publish the full results to substantiate this claim but I would not doubt it altogether.

My early years with other organizations I observed a steady rise in corrective rape (lesbians raped in a supposed bid to heterosexualize them) and other non penetrative acts they are forced to perform on their abusers as so called punishment for not wanting a man via Jamaican standards.

Two women were also featured in a documentary shot over a year ago by Selena Blake where one recounted her episode where she was forced to perform lewd acts on her attacker. The hush about this problem is not helping any and we must call it out in the open but with a male dominated LGBT advocacy or in this scenario GLBT still insensitive to the SGL female community needs fully what is one to do. A rape/sexual assault victim who is lesbian or bisexual might not want to sit in an incident report taking session and rehash her horrific experience done by other men to another man, sometimes the gender of the crisis intervention professional is crucial in service delivery.

Wonderful that a "We are Jamaicans Video Campaign" is on now but how is that going to help the women who do not see themselves being fully represented especially those from the lower socio economic strata? The figures for female Same Gender Loving persons being assaulted is indeterminate as many asborb the pain and recover very slowly over time without ever sharing the information and with a stigma surrounding rape on a whole as with victims many just clam up and are afraid to find a trusted professional or friend to share and seek help.

With the main advocacy group itself going through its bouts of internal challenges including its reeling from being evicted from its offices earlier this month along with its parent entity how are the programs going to be executed? when it is all about manipulating the foreign LGBT support to cover up the ineptitude and lack of good leadership.

Here are some tips however one could consider to be on the safe side:

No woman wants to be raped. 

Yet we live in a society in which the myth of "she’s asking for it" still exists. Avoiding rape and sexual assault is a concern for many women, especially college-aged students; they're the group at highest risk of being sexually assaulted. The belief that most rapes occur at the hands of a faceless stranger in a dark alley couldn't be further from the truth.. Most rapes involve someone the victim knows.

But these common sense tips offer practical advice for everyone. They can help any woman or girl minimize risk, improve safety and protect herself from situations that have the potential to become dangerous. Awareness of possible risks goes a long way in keeping women safe.

Trust your instincts and go with your gut. If a situation makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, do what you need to do to get yourself out of there. Don't worry about what others may think or try to be polite so as not to offend others. Your safety is top priority.

Carry your cell phone and make sure it's charged.

Plan ahead and use your phone as an extra measure of safety. Know who you'd contact if a situation makes you uncomfortable; have their number programmed so you can send a quick text for backup or help. If you're going out with friends, decide in advance where you'll meet at the end and at what time, so if your phone dies you'll still be able to connect with them.

Think twice about what you put on Facebook or Foursquare. 

When you use social media to share where you are or where you're going, friends can find you but others may be able to track you as well. Use common sense and ask yourself -- would you give this information to a stranger? If not, then don't share it online.

Your safety takes priority over someone else's hurt feelings. 

You're with someone or you're in a situation that makes you feel unsafe. There's nothing wrong with lying to extricate yourself from what's going on. Make up an excuse as to why you have to leave and get yourself to a safer place. It's easier to patch up someone's hurt feelings (if you've misinterpreted the situation) later on than deal with the aftermath of rape or sexual assault.

Don't keep quiet if you see something happening. 

Perpetrators are much less likely to act if their actions are being observed. If you see something questionable or believe another woman's safety is at risk, speak up, step in, draw others' attention to what's happening, or call for help. If you speak up and intervene, you've prevented one sexual assault crime from occurring and reduced the possibility of five other women being victimized in the future.

Friends don't let friends leave alone. 

If you and your friends are going out for the evening or headed to a party, go together. Arrive as a group, keep in contact with each other throughout the night (either face to face or by texting) and leave together. There's safety in numbers, so avoid going off alone. If you do decide to leave your friends, tell them where you're going and who you're going with.

Watch that drink and stay within limits. 

Whether you're consuming wine, beer, liquor or sipping non-alcoholic beverages, keep your hand on your drink and be aware of it at all times. Drink tampering has become all too common and often leads to sexual assault. Don't accept a drink or open can or bottle from someone you don't know or trust. If you end up leaving your drink unattended for some reason, throw it out and get a new one. In a bar, watch your drink being prepared. At a party, get your drink yourself or prepare it yourself and open up your own can or bottle; don't let somebody else do it. Don't drink from common open containers like punch bowls. If you're drinking alcohol, know your limits and how much you can consume without losing control or awareness of what's going on around you.

Make sure you've got your friends' backs and vice versa. 

Watching out for your friends -- and knowing that you can trust them to watch out for you -- is a key factor in preventing rape and sexual assault. If a friend seems out of it, is acting completely different from her normal behaviour  or appears much more intoxicated than she should be based on the amount of alcohol she's consumed, take care of her and get her to a safe place. If you think she's been drugged -- or you feel you've been drugged -- call the police. Don't hesitate or think that because alcohol was involved, no one will believe you or that you'll be blamed. When you see a medical professional, explain exactly what happened and any apparent symptoms or behaviours so that they can administer the correct tests.

One has to be also mindful of who one lets into your circle persons can present themselves as friendly with ulterior motives as I always say via this blog "Be Vigilant, Be Safe"

Peace and tolerance

H

(includes sections from women's issues on About.com)