3 LGBT Suicides (2 attempts) in 6 months .......... concerns

DJ Footie in good times

So as news spreads of the surprise suicide of DJ Footie on June 11 a female DJ who specialized in soca dancehall style mostly many are now wondering what is going on out there as news of a brother(not LGBT) named Delus of a popular DJ Konshens and how he has ended his life has triggered a national discussion as the shock is palpable. He reportedly conducted his successful attempt with a gun and the event was supposedly caught on camera as he filmed his last moments; the reason unconfirmed by the police is he got bad news of a herpes diagnosis and decided he could not go on as family life issues and such was too much for him, based on another video he made describing same. I also imagine the pressure and expectations of dancehall in terms of multiple partnering ties in with misogynistic themes and bravado sealed off with badmanism. Maybe he could not go on but only days before he made another clip on Fathers’ day thanking his fans for their support and birthday wishes then days later the end.

As a DJ myself for over 20 years I am not aware of us really choosing suicide as an option when trouble hits, again it depends on each ones constitution but one would use the very music on the ones and twos to sedate ourselves in case of challenges, it is long known that music is therapeutic but maybe Footie did not see it so. I am really sorry to hear of this one. For this one to come in the middle of Pride month internationally is even more egregious as this is a time for more positive imaging and LGBTQ discourse; rainbow flag controversy aside.

DJ Footie’s case the reports are that she essentially had no signs of challenges and so it is a major shock to persons which is usually the case in previous successful attempts. The loss of one of my long time allies as hinted to in a previous post he just ended it all even after posting his usual articles on Facebook only to be floored by the news on his profile. The two other reported attempts in separate matters both occurred in January and February respectively. The former tried some sort of poison or pills and was only discovered by a visiting friend who spontaneously stopped by her house. She had been stressed with some family challenges and expenses she was saddled with before but all seemed well until the discovery of the attempted ending of her life.

The March matter was a cutting or slicing attempt as the male attempter hoped to slowly bleed to death and was also discovered by a friend after several phone calls, social media linking and no apparent response. He has since been referred to a community influential and a psychologist for proper interventions. We have also been speaking occasionally on the phone where at opportunities encourage him to keep up with her appointments and so on. I am disturbed by the issues and the fear or reluctance of persons to reach out though; I am not a psychologist and may never understand the complexities fully but it is a bit disconcerting that persons are on Facebook, Instagram and so on and continue to present a bettered or false representations of themselves even as they struggle and despite increasing pages offering avenues of escape if you will or counselling. I have expressed this challenge of falsified or alter ego online personas versus self imposed pressure to keep up appearances before which I think are part and parcel to some of this. The incessant need to get likes and some recognition given (narcisstic mirroring) how rejected psychologically some feel so I guess the urge to use social media and so on for alternatives is somewhat understandable.

Another concern is the false sense of security that seems to be push by JFLAG and others as they seem more interested in image rightsizing than the actual realities, it is understandable to have a positive side but we must also GET REAL, coupled with the strange continued reports of social media fallouts due to sometimes new users both in age and commencement are having teething problems using Apps and adding public pages while not scuttling friends’ lists while mixing family members some of whom end up monitoring activities; to include the look of folks, their gender and even how many males or females dependent on the profile’s owner likes ones pages or posts. There are hardly good sustained any avenues for coming out by one’s recognisance and while social media platforms offer instant communication and a not so perfect avenue for being out many persons especially older ones are running into some challenges as they adjust to using new technologies and engaging other persons. While JFLAG operatives and such can afford to be out and it seems to push others to want to do the same others do not have that luxury and may also feel inferior or left out which possibly can. They all have visas and can depart in a moment’s notice whilst the ordinary ‘likkle sport’ is not so blessed, a point repeatedly made sometimes by some.

Ostensibly it would be difficult to convince persons to come forward with challenges and although we have had help lines established nationally but which need far more awareness support persons choose what in their minds the easier way out. Some of the same outlets though seem not equipped to handle LGBT matters which may further complicate the recovery process and some outlets are run by faith based organizations or churches. We just never know the pain persons are enduring. One former participant of the Aphrodite’s PRIDE Jamaica’s Enterprise Training said something profound yesterday, she said words to the effect that persons who are struggling need to reach out and do not put on a show as if everything is OK when they are not. I have been trying in a small way to encourage persons to actually be themselves via their social profiles but I know that is going to be difficult to sustain such a suggestion given how the world works today.

According to Chooselife the figures for suicide are not so hot as in 2014 59 persons were successful, 2015 some 51 persons did so and to date 32 have been successful for varying reasons including revenge, hurt, family issues and so on.

What is also interesting with these cases is that the individuals were from relatively stable homes or lifestyles, they seem on the face of it not to be struggling with finances or existence save and except for the latter case where she had some alleged financial issues but all in all they were not poor or displaced or homeless for that matter. These ties in with my concerns as to presenting or living a double life when the painful truths are hidden only to be a farce, in fear of being seen as less than what was and is presented. One hardly hears of suicide attempts in the lower socio economic circles in quite a while and the age cohort of suicides just by a cursory review without the benefit of strong statistics seem to be between the early twenties to early forties. Older folks tend not to consider suicide as an option although my aforementioned ally Mark who ended his life in NY was in his mid fifties.

My last direct contact with someone who was considering suicide was in late 2014 and which lasted just over a year with intermittent talk therapy or versions of it but he was referred to a professional who aided greatly. What also concerns me as well is that successful suicides made public and given the feeling of no attention then seeing the news getting so much of it can be a catalyst for contemplators to make such attempts as the experts tell us. For every successful suicide made known the contemplator wishes or wants to also achieve the same results and may work actively normally quietly towards ending their own life. Even how I prepared this post I had to choose my words carefully as I was advised some years ago during suicide prevention day observance as sensational appearing coverage can be a catalyst for such contemplation as they may feel attention is finally paid to them after the relief is attained in their eyes.

I hope you my readers if you know of any such persons contemplating such a final course to reach out to some outfit or requisite expert and informally some talk and words of encouragement can help; that is of course if outwards signs of trouble are there as in many cases no evidence is shown of signs of trouble.

Peace & tolerance

H

J'cans Tap Gay Online Rental Market - Misterb&B Seen As Opportunity To Diversify Income

Well this is not anything new as the writers at Gleaner's business department present the captioned article in Sunday's last paper. The only new part are the platforms but networking has always been a feature of the gay tourist who takes the chance to come to Jamaica, especially at smalle properties and guest houses. I have facilitated such trips; especially when there is an event involved from overseas DJs to female/male impersonators (Drag king).

Previous entries will bring that to bear, such as:

LGBT leisure travel market set to spike .................... LGBT "friendly" resorts are here 2012

Caribbean tourism must reflect changing demands ....... pink $$$ anyone? 2015

Here is the current article in question:

As Jamaicans tap into the online rental market for business through platforms such as Airbnb they are slowly becoming more amenable to a side of the market that is largely shunned domestically gay travellers.

Some landlords and property owners are open to visitors through applications such as misterb&b, which caters to gays.

Still, it is not a big market by any measure. The number of local rooms available remains low at nine, but it grew from five two months ago Comparatively, Airbnb offers more than 1,000 listings across Jamaica.

The misterb&b site prides itself on listings, which offer "tips to stay like a gay local". Those hosts with whom Sunday Business spoke said offering the service complements the regular bed and breakfast offering.

"We don't do it only for the money," said one host, who spoke on condition of anonymity.

Rooms for gay visitors are listed across the island ranging from US$60 upwards, compared with Airbnb, which offers rooms for as low as US$20.

The theme of offering a 'safe space' was mirrored by other hosts, but all asked to remain anonymous for this story. It underscores the discreet service these listings offer within Jamaica, seen as a homophobic hot spot.

The most recent anti-gay furore surrounded the Attorney General Marlene Malahoo Forte tweeting that raising the gay rainbow flag at the US Embassy last week was disrespectful of Jamaican laws although she gave no legal rationale. The act of buggery that is, anal sex remains illegal, but there are no explicit laws against homosexuality.

Director of Tourism Paul Pennicook says that travel apps, whether catering to straight travellers or gays, do not need to channel activity through the Jamaica Tourist Board (JTB).

"The JTB has no jurisdiction over the creation of travel apps," said Pennicook in a response facilitated through the JTB marketing department. "The JTB has no direct relationship with Airbnb nor misterb&b.

There are numerous online entities that provide travel services such as air, accommodation, ground transfer, etc. to the travelling public, but these services are not, nor are they required, to be channelled through the JTB."

The local gay lobby group, J-FLAG, provisionally endorsed the move as it offers safe spaces to gays.

"Anything that creates a safe space for travellers is a good thing, assuming that the app and the people renting have good intentions," said a spokeswoman at J-FLAG.

"I am a lesbian and if I am travelling I know that not all places are friendly to the LGBT community. So on the face of it, it would seem as a good thing," she said.

The spokeswoman, who also requested anonymity, said she would want the app service to be more inclusive of lesbians.

Misterb&b launched in 2013 primarily to allow gay men to secure gay-friendly rentals. Misterb&b offers 55,000 rentals in 130 countries and is not affiliated or associated with Airbnb.

The site came about after co-founder Matthieu Jost encountered mixed experiences while renting on travel sites. He recalled a most uncomfortable host in Barcelona four years ago whose hostility sparked the impetus for the site.

"Upon arrival, the host felt not comfortable with gay men staying in her home. She even asked 'Are you going to sleep in the same bed?'" according to information on the rental site.

From that experience, Jost misterb&b's chief executive officer decided a short-term rental service by and for gay men was needed to help provide safety and community for travellers.

also see:
Calling for a Tourism Boycott on Jamaica is a dumb idea at this time 2013

Is ‘The Most Homophobic Place on Earth’ Turning Around? 2015

Cuba's shot in the arm for LGBTQ personhood & pink tourism

Uncomfortable with Endocrinologist explanation of the case of the intersex infant

In a previous post (Jamaican Intersex (ambiguous genitalia) baby case a cause for concern part 2 ) I mentioned the push by a certain endocrinologist on early surgery of an infant who was featured on CVM TV some time ago. He has been interviewed since and has seemingly steered clear of suggesting surgery on a baby as an option, but I am not comfortable at all.

Here is an excerpt of the article involving the gentleman:

For thousands of years children have been born with what’s called ambiguous genitalia — a condition in which there is incomplete development of the external genitals, and at birth doctors are not able to clearly define a sex. Last week, Dr Leslie Gabay, consultant paediatrician and paediatric endocrinologist, addressed the biology of the condition. This week, he speaks of stigma and social repercussions.


WITH regard to the social repercussions, the sex of a baby is usually the first question friends and family members have after a birth, Dr Gabay said.

“Generally, I recommend that the parents say the infant is undergoing tests to clarify the sex due to incomplete development of the genitals,” he advised.

“If we do this, then there is no stigma. Stigma occurs only when the child goes home with one sex and this is subsequently changed. Hence the importance of early diagnosis.”

Dr Gabay said stigma has to be dealt with by family support, parental education and counselling, where necessary.

He pointed out that it is important to note that the physical development of infants (sex) has nothing to do with the psychological development (gender).

“When we’re looking at the conditions, we’re looking at developmental disorders of sexual maturation. That can give us various issues. When you talk about gender, you talk about how people feel about themselves,” he said. “I may have testes, I may have XY chromosomes, but psychologically I feel like a female. When there’s a disconnection between the physical and the psychological, we call that gender dysphoria where somebody is feeling one way, but has a phenotype that is opposite to how they feel.”

A paediatric endocrinologist looks at what can and can’t be corrected, which is whether your hormones have the capacity to complete your development as a male or female.

“So, for example, we will have an XY male who has testes and is actually making male hormones but he doesn’t have the receptors for them to work on, so he can’t get a complete development into male external genitalia. We sometimes have those same individuals with XY and testes, but their genitals look like females because the testosterone they’re making cannot work to convert the genitals into a male. So there are a number of different medical conditions which all fall under the disorders of sexual maturation, which can give you a disconnect in terms of your chromosomal sex, your gonadal sex and your phenotypic sex,” he said.

He added: “The difference between Caitlyn Jenner’s case, for example, which is a psychological disconnect between the psychology and the physicality of sex, versus when a child has a disorder of development, is vast. So, for example, if you are a boy you have XY, you have testes, you make testosterone but your tissues can’t respond to testosterone — you look like a girl. There’s nothing that I or anybody can do to make you into a boy. So you’re a girl by how you look, except that you won’t have a womb to have babies and therefore you may be able to get some sperm to do IVF, but you’re not going to carry a baby.”

Dr Gabay said most people don’t know what their chromosomes are, so definition of sex is mostly phenotypic — how you look.

“Until you have a baby or get pregnant you don’t know that your ovaries can make eggs, but all along you’re walking through school as a girl. Your chromosomes don’t make you a girl, the fact that you can make eggs or have a womb doesn’t make you a girl,” he said. “When I met you I thought you were a girl and that’s because of how you look. That’s how people walk around looking at individuals. So how we socialise in the world is based on how we look — our phenotype.”

He added that when we want to reproduce and move forward for another generation, that’s when our chromosomes, sperm and ovaries become important.


“I can’t say at six weeks of age how you will feel at five years old. But I can say at six weeks whether your hormones have the capacity to complete your development as a male or complete your development as a female,” he explained.

ENDS

Intersex activists have been advocating to delayed surgery decision making on the pat of impacted individuals with proper engagement in terms of education.

Also see:
Jamaican Intersex (ambiguous genitalia) baby case a cause for concern part 1

28 EU member states reach consensus on LGBT rights for first time

The 28 EU member states have reached a consensus on LGBT rights for the first time in European history.

The Council of the European Union reached consensus on Friday on a Netherlands-backed agreement concerning women’s rights, gender equality and the protection of LGBTI people across the EU.

For the first time ever, the 28 member states agreed at the Council to work against “any discrimination” against LGBT people, and to ramp up pan-European efforts on equality.

It urges individual national governments “to consider working together with the European Commission with regard to its List of actions to advance LGBTI equality”, and “to take action to combat discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation and gender identity”.

It comes in the wake of the Orlando attack.

Under the terms of the agreement, the European Commission will prepare an annual progress report on the position of LGBT rights across every European country, evaluating progress across a number of areas with recommendations for reform.

The EU already requires member states to adopt anti-discrimination employment protections, but there is a large disparity in LGBT equality across Europe.

Dutch equalities minister Jet Bussemaker said: “European cooperation is essential to efforts to fight global homophobia and strengthen women’s rights. With the dreadful attack in Orlando still fresh in our memories, I don’t need to explain why it’s so important for the EU to take a clear stand.

“LGBTI rights and women’s rights are human rights that transcend borders.

“Everyone has the right to be who they want to be, regardless of their background or origin.

“It’s very important that we act together against countries and organisations that violate the rights of women, gay men, lesbian women and bisexual, transgender and intersex people.”

The President of the Council, Lodewijk Assche added: “Gay rights and women’s rights are human rights, without limits. Everyone has the right to be who you want to be, regardless of background or origin.

“It is very important that we now have a common European vision and goal that ensures collective action against countries and organisations that infringe gender equality, the rights of women, gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender and intersex persons.”

ILGA-Europe’s Executive Director Evelyne Paradis said: “The adoption of the Council conclusions is finally a clear confirmation at the highest level that EU member states are committed to working together on promoting LGBTI rights across the EU and beyond.

“It is a clear call to the EU institutions that they can stop being cautious in standing up for LGBTI rights; they have the backing of member states to really step up their work in this area.”

However, ILGA-Europe called on EU institutions to secure tighter commitments from member states, noting a reference to “fully respecting the Member States’ competences, national identities and constitutional traditions” that could potentially be cited as an opt-out.

Ms Paradis added: “Now more than ever, the EU’s institutions and member states must show the LGBTI community that they are willing to stand alongside them in the face of intolerance.

“These Council conclusions must be a living document that guides their work for all LGBTI people, without any ifs or buts.”