Lesbians clash in car park outside popular strip club

So same gender loving relational matters or fallouts keep spilling over into the public domain and causing some image challenges in my view in terms of carving respectability and such. Not because we are LGBTQI and are impacted by negative pressures from society means we must be violent in all circumstances or display our under carriages to John Public, who for all intents and purposes seek to use anything to deny recognition of LGBT normativity so such clashes as the one I am about to share become ammunition to give credence to such denials. If we can’t be as heterosexuals in other words in terms of socialization then why do we or should we deserve same?

So I was forced to drop my usual routine at home on a weekend Friday evening as I normally prepared to make my way down to my DJ gig on the north west of the island; I was coaxed quite forcibly [mi vex still] into accompanying a lesbian friend of mine and two other persons to a popular strip club in New Kingston known as Palais Royale that attracts many same gender loving women over the years and has had its reputation reach international status. In the same breath it has had some awful incidents as well to dent that otherwise good reputation in as far as open entertainment for lesbians and some gay men are tolerated although the DJs can get very caustic when perceived gays or drag queens are in the house; with sometimes cheering support from lesbians. The old rift of lesbians despising effeminate men in public sometimes show up.

We have had shooting incidents by lesbians in that of one some years ago where a security guard who clashed with a woman was shot twice by her or COPS HUNT LESBIAN "SHOTTAS" or Lesbians Take Over Exotic Clubs 2008 (Wordpress Blog)

We arrived at Palais, entered, settled in, drinks in hand around 10pm or so (my DJ gig starts later on, maybe it was a good warmup for me) and we enjoyed the entertainment interspersed with laughter and reacquainting myself with some ladies I have not seen for quite some time when I was closer to the WomenforWomen group who would often drag us along for the fun of it to the same club. We noticed a minor skirmish by one of the tables between two women as evidenced in the crowd parting and a very animated butch appearing person clearly displaying some displeasure but the thing died down and festivities continued.

One thing I can tell you my readers butch women do not play when pursuing their entertainment and are heavy tippers; I stood almost in shock at the kinds of cash including foreign currency I saw being thrown on the stage and the heightened cheering and satisfaction. The previously animated woman was also in the mix making her contribution to one particular exotic dancer as the DJ vigorously encouraged the excitement, a job I know all too well in whipping a crowd into a frenzy. I ran into an older lesbian DJ who I occasionally worked with back in the day as well.

Time came for me to make my early exit as my out of town gig time was approaching and the drive though shortened thanks to the highway [yeah!] was still near two hours long; we made our way to the car parked some ways down on Ripon Road only to walk into an obvious fight as the shouts were audible. To my surprise it was the same butch identified woman who was animated before inside the club and another woman who were at it. The other woman grabbed her and throw her to the ground where they wrestled for a short time, much to the delight of the mostly male onlookers who were cheering and laughing; supposedly making light of the masculinity of the women in the melee and as if it were a boxing match described who punched who or who was more aggressive than the other.

Most of the men watching this go down were vendors on the outside on the street or male patrons or just hang-abouts who were engaging the female commercial sex workers who peddle on the outside of the club. I was not pleased with what I saw go down and to think the matter became a scene for excitement as if we were watching a knock out drag out fight in a Roman venue with one persons expected to die for entertainment. My lesbian friend was livid and expressed same while encouraging the ladies to stop the fighting and solve the matter another way. Another lady friend of hers who was with us gave some background suggesting that the aforementioned animated butch was a known trouble maker and her reputation preceded her; so no sympathy in essence was not offered towards her.

The fight was eventually parted by other women and a soup vendor who addressed the butch woman by a name as he pulled her away from the other person. Even as that was in progress the cheering men went into the after drama commentary that usually accompany these things gay or straight as the case may be. I found it offensive as it reduced in a sense gays and lesbians as constantly jealous and engage in fights over ‘pussy’ as loudly claimed by one of the misogynistically sounding laughing men. Words to the effect came from him and others that lesbians were not easy or determined in their quest for women lovers and would kill if necessary to achieve same. In other words all we are as gay people are sex hungry freaks at any costs.

We need to be careful how we play out our differences and clearly even after all these years for me we still have conflict resolution issues that require sustained interventions ad support. A fight along East Queen Street recently nearing Wildman Street was a case in point in about March 2015 when I was at a nearby betting shop making my punts for cash pot when a man walked in and proudly announcing that ‘two lesbian gal a fight’ by the location. By the time we got there one of the ladies clearly a stud identified type had her marina torn with her left breast showing under her bra while the other’s hat was on the sidewalk and her hair totally out of whack. And what were they fighting over allegedly? A woman it was surmised much to amusement of the men nearby at the two drinking spots; again the reduction of same gender identity to just sex seeking freaks devoid of emotion at any cost came up.

So much work maybe in a next lifetime maybe needed to change hearts and minds on dignity of LGBT people whilst reducing aggression as a way to solve conflict.

Peace and tolerance

H

also see:

The raid the night before by the cops:

LESBIAN ACTIVITY ON STAGE IN LINSTEAD CLUB RAISES CONCERNS 2008 

LESBIAN CLUB IN PORTMORE (THE STAR 4.12.08)

THE RESPONSE TO LESBIAN CLUB IN PORTMORE

(Wordpress archive blog)

‘Ex-Gay’ Therapy Group Co-Founder’s Medical License Revoked for ‘Gross Negligence’ and ‘Unprofessional Conduct’

NARTH Co-Founder, Benjamin Kaufman, MD Retires in Disgrace After Patient Ends Up in Coma

CHICAGO – Psychiatrist Benjamin Kaufman, MD surrendered his medical license on October 7, 2015 to the Medical Board of California Department of Consumer Affairs. He is the co-founder of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), a notorious group of discredited practitioners who promote the outdated idea that homosexuality is a disease that can be cured. NARTH, which has since rebranded itself The Alliance of Therapeutic Choice and Scientific Integrity, has deliberately concealed the professional misconduct of its co-founder for six months.

“We consistently find that those who practice ‘ex-gay’ therapy are unethical and unscrupulous,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen. “They are perpetrators of fraud and malpractice, who harm their clients in the name of helping them. Given this reality, we aren’t the least bit surprised to find that Benjamin Kaufman is a charlatan who had his license revoked for ‘gross negligence’ and ‘unprofessional conduct.’”

Ironically, it wasn’t his abuse of LGBT people that finally did in Dr. Kaufman. In 2008, Benjamin Kaufman was informed that one of his clients (listed as L.S. in the legal documents) was suffering from alcoholism and severe depression. According to California’s medical board, Kaufman, “continued to routinely prescribe Schedule III medications and mood stabilizers to L.S. without seeing L.S. in person…

Respondent’s care and treatment of L.S. was an extreme departure from the standard of care by failing to adequately diagnose and manage chronic alcoholism leading to an irreversible neurological condition which resulted in the incapacitation of the patient….on September 9, 2011, L.S. fell into a coma.”

After the guilty verdict, the Sacramento-based Dr. Kaufman elected to retire from medicine. In its decision, the state wrote, “For the purpose of resolving the accusation without the expense and uncertainty of further proceedings, respondent (Kaufman) agrees that, at hearing, complainant could establish a factual basis for the charges in the accusation and those charges constitute discipline…Respondent understands that by signing this stipulation he enables.

the Board to issue an order accepting the surrender of his Physician’s and Surgeon’s Certificate without further process.”

In 2015, Kaufman was sued for allegedly confining a Sacramento client behind “locked doors” and under watch of a “large dog.” According to Courthouse News Service:


A Sacramento psychiatrist who practices gay conversion therapy defamed a gay attorney-prison guard to his employer after confining him with “a large dog under compelled coercion,” the lawyer claims in court.

Calvin Chang says he was referred to Dr. Benjamin Kaufman after filing a discrimination complaint against his employer, the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation.

Chang, who’d complained that he was denied promotion because of his sexual orientation, claims there were “no facts or lawful basis whatsoever” to justify his referral to Kaufman. Chang says he is a licensed attorney with more than 20 years of law enforcement experience.

Chang says Kaufman subjected him to “reparative therapy” without his consent and threatened to have him fired if he didn’t accept the prisons department’s offer of demotion.

Chang damages for civil rights violations, defamation, discrimination, aiding and abetting discrimination, privacy invasion, fraud and deceit, violation of medical privacy, retaliation, professional negligence and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

Every respected medical and mental health association in America condemns conversion therapy. This includes The American Psychological Association, The American Academy of Pediatrics, The American Psychiatric Association, and the American Medical Association.

Last week, The World Psychiatric Association, an organization of national psychiatric societies consisting of 138 member societies across 118 different countries, released a position statement denouncing any attempts to turn LGBT people heterosexual.

“There is no sound scientific evidence that innate sexual orientation can be changed. Furthermore, so-called treatments of homosexuality can create a setting in which prejudice and discrimination flourish, and they can be potentially harmful,” the statement says.

‘Ex-Gay’ therapy for minors (aka reparative or conversion therapy) is prohibited in California, Illinois, New Jersey, Oregon, and the District of Colombia.

Truth Wins Out (TWO) is a non-profit organization that works to demolish the very foundation of anti-gay prejudice. Our philosophy is simple: We attack the underpinnings of homophobia by debunking harmful lies, discrediting hateful myths, and countering anti-gay organizations. By chipping away at the underlying ignorance that fuels anti-LGBT attitudes, we can ultimately win our fight for fairness and achieve full equality for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people worldwide.

International Transgender Day of Visibility 2016 #TDoV #MoreThanVisibility #Ally

International Transgender Day of Visibility is an annual observance occurring on March 31 dedicated to celebrating transgender people and raising awareness of discrimination faced by transgender people worldwide. 

The observance was founded by Michigan-based transgender activist Rachel Crandall in 2009 as a reaction to the lack of LGBT holidays celebrating transgender people, citing the frustration that the only well-known transgender-centered observance was the Transgender Day of Remembrance which mourned the loss of transgender people to hate crimes, but did not acknowledge and celebrate living members of the transgender community.

Locally we have had a long ardious journey raising awareness with not only John Public's understanding of transgender issues but sadly back then the very advocacy structures including JFLAG; invisibility/omission were the biggest challenges to overcome but there is some growth within the last couple years. It was an uphill battle to get the outfit to finally start acting on more inclusion in the narrative nationally. 

There were days when even persons left transgender individuals to be seen as confused persons and this blog was one of the few spaces then in the late 2000s to begin to change that thinking. Then there was the conflation of transgender issues with drag/transvestite culture and certain words usage such as 'tranny' and such which etymology was from drag queen culture and not meant to stigmatize our transgender colleagues. See: The difficult task of separating drag culture from transgender identity 2013

shot from Taboo Yardies documentary with Moyette Morgan and Laura Garcia at the time which was screened in Jamaica in 2013, see more HERE

Sean Claude Neufville an APJ Seizmic participant explains her/his journey

Groups such as Colour Pink, Transwave and my affiliated Aphrodite's P.R.I.D.E Jamaica, APJ coupled with some enlightenment from HIV agencies such as JASL finally of which I am pleased things are looking on the up.

If only in the homeless/displacement department there can be some more intensive work and opportunities for a way out; despite some of the aforementioned agencies not acting on the full knowledge over forty years of the consequence of stigma and discrimination is evidenced in forced evictions and homelessness.

view it HERE

A recent study also showed how some three hundred plus persons felt about seeing asylum as a way out of Jamaica with more than 70% surveyed agreeing. APJ has been doing work in conjunction with groups and individuals and on Human Rights Day 2015 launched our website to add to the awareness thrust.

APJ's website HERE

see previous posts on APJ from this blog HERE (newer posts will appear first.)

In 2014, the holiday was observed by activists across the world — including in Ireland and in Scotland. In 2015, many transgender individuals participated in an online social media campaign on websites including Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram. Participants posted selfies, personal stories, statistics regarding transgender issues and other related content to raise awareness and increase visibility.

I wanted to highlight for today a previous case I had dealt with way back in 2008 when I was in crisis interventions at JFLAG and Admin/Finance and her progress since in evidence of resilience and such. Lady Moyette as I called her then was a stone's throw away from being murdered as this previous post shows, see: Transgenderism in Jamaica: A victim's ordeal before and after photos show the journey since.

Before:

After (a couple days ago)

I am so happy she is OK and still quietly working though not in Jamaica anymore.

Live up and a huge thanks to Laura Garcia of APJ and others from the old guard whose push over the years helped to change the narrative towards more tolerance and acceptance.

Peace & tolerance

H

Washing penis after sex doesn't prevent STIs

Washing penis after sex doesn't prevent STIs

Dear Counsellor,

I always thought I had a major problem and so I have been abstaining from sex for some time; I usually ease the sexual tensions by masturbating. Recently, I got so happy and say to myself that my stresses where sex is concerned are over. Counsellor, I have learnt that it is not everything a person must keep on the chest, it is good to talk with trusted friends. I say that because it was only while talking to a trusted friend that I get to understand that all I need to do is wash off the penis immediately after sex and have my girlfriend douche so we would not get sexual germs like AIDS and the others.

Happy and Free

Dear Happy and Free,

Genital hygiene is important and a good practice. However, there is no evidence that washing the genitals prevents sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In fact, vaginal douching increases a woman's risk of acquiring STIs, including HIV, and pelvic inflammatory disease.

The only sure way to prevent sexually transmitted infections is to abstain from all sexually activities; that is, oral, vaginal and anal. For persons who are sexually active, the only sure way to prevent sexually transmitted infections is to use a condom every time or stick to one faithful partner who you know is uninfected.
Do pregnant women have a greater chance of getting HIV?

Dear Counsellor,

I have a concern about pregnancy. I would like to know if pregnancy places a woman at increased risk of becoming infected with HIV?

Want to Know

Dear Want to Know,

Current evidence is conflicting as to whether pregnancy increases a woman's chances of infection if exposed to HIV. What we do know is that if a woman becomes infected with HIV during pregnancy, the chances that HIV will be transmitted to her baby during pregnancy, delivery, and childbirth may be at their highest because she will have a high level of virus in her blood. It is therefore important for all pregnant women to protect themselves from HIV and other STIs through mutual faithfulness, condom use or abstinence. On the other hand, if a pregnant woman thinks that she may have HIV, she should seek HIV testing. Testing for HIV during pregnancy is extremely important to the both the health of the baby and the mother-to-be. Resources are available to help the prevention of mother-to-child transmission of HIV and this has been very effective.

For more information on condom use, HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted infections, call the AIDS/STD Helpline toll free at 1888-991-4444

Call For Order - Negril Stakeholders Want Commercial Sex Work Regularised

Thought I'd post this Gleaner article on commercial sex work given recent developments in Western Jamaica and a raid previously posted Weekend raid of CSWs in Mobay had homeless LGBT in dragnet. The Sex Worker Association of Jamaica, SWAJ based in western Jamaica as well has expressed some interest in the developments and have said they make respond in time.

I do wish though that the Gleaner and media houses in general desist from using the word 'Prostitution' as it is now being seen as a stigmatizing term as the original headline read.

Elaine Allen-Bradley: We should have a health system in place in Negril where we have all the facilities for locals and tourists alike.

Western Bureau:

While stopping short of calling for the establishment of a red-light district in the resort town, some business stakeholders in Negril, Westmoreland, want to see prostitution decriminalised and regulated in order to create safer conditions for sex workers and their clients.

Participating in a recent Gleaner forum on job creation, investment and growth in Negril, the stakeholders admitted that despite being illegal, male and female prostitution has always been part of the fabric of the town, albeit a big contributor to social disorder.

"Prostitutes and rent-a-dreads are quite numerous here in Negril," said Christine Cohen, owner of the Spa Retreat Boutique Hotel.

"Rent-a-dreads have a big underground business. There are already websites where you can rent a dread. You can already have everything set up before you even hit the airport. Within 60 minutes, your arrangement is made."

It is for that reason why Cohen and other stakeholders, including Lee Issa, the president of the Negril Chamber of Commerce (NCC), believed it would best serve the town by having the industry legalised, so it could be regulated to address safety concerns.

"I think you can have some sort of coexistence, but it would have to be confined, controlled and managed, because we are not going to get rid of it," said Issa, who is chairman of Couples Resorts. "If regularised, it would in some way allow for the girls to be checked health-wise."

However, as things are from a health perspective, Negril is far from ready to offer the type of health care that a regulated sex trade would require.


HEALTH INFRASTRUCTURE

The town's health infrastructure, which is a woefully inadequate health centre, is struggling to address even day-to-day health issues.

According to Elaine Allen-Bradley, a director of the NCC, the health centre is unbecoming of a town that is considered a premier tourist destination.

"If you should go to the health centre, it's a disgrace. We should have a health system in place in Negril where we have all the facilities for locals and tourists alike," she said.

However, while some stakeholders want to see a decriminalised sex industry in Negril, until that becomes a reality, the police will continue to take a zero-tolerance approach to prostitution.

According to Deputy Superintendent Adrian Hamilton, the officer in charge at the Negril Police Station, the police will continue to enforce the law against prostitution, but will partner with the Ministry of Health so that whenever these alleged sex workers are taken into custody, some amount of counselling is provided.

"We recently went to their main area in Negril, their habitat, and we demolished three makeshift structures that were being used as brothels ... . We took some persons into custody," Hamilton said.

okoye.henry@gleanerjm.com 

ENDS

Indeed the rent-a-dread business is real and is not only targeted at females only as there are bisexuals and gay operatives as well in the business who often get very good patronage.

I am in some agreement with the call or concerns expressed and only if there are some forward thinking folks to out in the needed systems and monitoring to make it work.

Peace & tolerance

H

Jamaican Intersex (ambiguous genitalia) baby case a cause for concern #learning moment

While I appreciate the highlighting of issues such as this that do get a lot of mainstream ventilation they have a way of misleading the public but showing up the arrears that need addressing.

Firstly Intersex people differ from transgender people as their status is not gender related but instead relates to their biological makeup (genetic, hormonal and physical features) which is neither exclusively male nor exclusively female, but is typical of both at once or not clearly defined as either. These features can manifest themselves in secondary sexual characteristics such as muscle mass, hair distribution, breasts and stature; primary sexual characteristics such as reproductive organs and genitalia; and/or in chromosomal structures and hormones. The term intersex has replaced the term ‘hermaphrodite’ which was used extensively by medical practitioners during the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries.

At Least 30 or 40 Different variations are known to science; 10--‐80% Of cases are idiopathic, with no exact diagnosis.

Some Common intersex variations are diagnosed prenatally, others may be apparent at birth. Some Intersex traits become apparent at puberty, or when trying to conceive, or through random chance. However, most intersex characteristics are not pathological, but express healthy variation amongst human bodies.

Inspire Jamaica a positive feature aired on CVM TV had as its latest subject baby ‘Angel’ and her mother speaking to the issues surrounding ambiguous genitalia and or intersexuality (although the word was not used in the clip not even by the doctor interviewed) and that the mother had bought male clothing and related items only to be instructed by the gynaecologist to wait whilst also asking the Registrar General Department to amend the birth papers and such to female gender.

CMV TV's video on the subject (part 1)

I was a bit disturbed by that and then to be landed with the doctor’s encouragement to the mother go ahead the surgery to effectively select the baby’s gender as opposed to waiting until baby X reached possibly eighteen years of age seeing that is our age of adulthood in law; persons may not want to remain as forced on them by doctor through the mother and may have consequences in later years.

Despite the doctor who respectfully is the expert in this matter had indicated that there were no chromosomes suggesting a male and no descended testicles he thought it best to default the child to female at this early stage owing to the issues to do with gender in the brain versus sex; in other words gender is between the ears male brain versus female brain versus not matching what is between the legs which is why I would have thought the doctor should have waited; there are cases for example here in Jamaica from as early as 2009 where it was even discussed on radio with Emily Crooks and Clyde Williams when they hosted the morning show on Nationwide radio on September 11 2009 with Dr Peta Ann Baker, see a previous post: What if Semenya were a Jamaican? 2009 for Miss Baker's take on the issues then.

During puberty the genitalia can change alongside genes and internal characteristics with many variations of the combinations, with regards to chromozones, gonads etc. which is why the experts should have waited. There is new information as well and the push by intersex activists as well thanks to them for my own enlightenment. The rush to gender reassignment surgery is wrong especially for cosmetic reasons and the fears of the parents; early surgery can cause issues as such persons mature futuristically is problematic. Again I am not an expert in endocrinology by there is enough information out there and that gender is not binary. We should wait until the age of majority in Jamaica legally which is 18 and let them choose while educating them.

We do not do the best for our children in this rigid way. I am waiting to see the part 2 of what the doctor actual recommended in the series and I hope he didn't recommend surgery.

Difficulties presented by the binary gender model and gender stereotypes

Negative attitudes towards trans and intersex people are directly correlated to the importance that a determinate society places on the binary gender model and the level of gender stereotypes, sexism and gender inequalities that exist within it. The binary gender model classifies both sex and gender into two distinct and exclusive forms of masculine and feminine identities. This system is maintained through a cisnormativity system which legitimises and privileges those who are comfortable in the gender belonging to the sex assigned to them at birth through various practices and institutions.

Additionally, this norm systematically disadvantages and marginalizes all persons whose sex, gender identity and gender expression do not meet social expectations. This happens through the enforcement of wide boundaries between the two sexes (and their corresponding genders) to discourage people from crossing them or establishing alternative third sexes or third genders. Gender stereotypes also play a significant role in othering and marginalizing trans and intersex people. In fact, gender stereotypes that favour a particular form of ‘masculinity’ in relation to men and a particular form of ‘femininity’ in relation to women expose many trans and intersex people to institutionalized discrimination.

also see:

More on Intersexuality 2010

Caster Semenya or Buju Banton 2009

Jamaican Inter-phobia, lack of understanding Inter-sexuality 2010

A RELIGIOUS PERSPECTIVE ON THE CASTER SEMENYA ISSUE
FEMALE MASCULINITY: DISRUPTING STANDARDS OF BEAUTY AND REDEFINING WOMANHOOD

INTERSEXUALITY, AMBIGUOUS GENITALIA & PSYCHO-SOCIAL ISSUES DISCUSSION ON NATIONWIDE RADIO JAMAICA 11.09.09 

more entries from GLBTQ Jamaica Wordpress blog on intersex issues HERE

Peace & tolerance

H

Str8 men who watch lesbian porn ..................

The homosexual component of lesbian porn is what it appealing to heterosexual men I feel. While heterosexual men are increasingly accepting of gay people in society, I believe that many men still retain feelings that homosexuality is "wrong" or "taboo." This is not to say that these men are disingenuous when they express their support for gay people/rights. It is simply an acknowledgment that most American men (even young ones) grew up in a society that was intolerant of gay people. That experience has left an imprint on them which they have retained, even though they have overcome that imprint in many of their conscious thoughts and activities.

Lesbian porn provides men with exposure to homosexual activity in a manner that is acceptable to them because they do not feel like they are homosexual for watching it. Many people's sexual fantasies involve activities that are considered taboo by societal standards. In the case of lesbian porn, heterosexual men are able to engage in taboo activity, even though they are not gay.

Here is a question and answer exchange on the issue, I do not agree so much with doc's answer and the answer should have explored a little more the issue of attraction and orientation.

My Husband Went To A Lesbian Show

Question: 

Doc, my husband recently visited Prague in the Czech Republic on business. He came back and told me, with some embarrassment, that he and his colleagues went to a 'lesbian show.'

At first, I was very angry and ready for divorce, because I thought he was going to say that while he was at this theatre, he had sex with one of the women. But to my relief, that was not so.

However, I am still pretty mad at him, because he said that he and his colleagues sat in the front row and eyed all these girls who took off their clothes while dancing on the stage.

What really infuriated me was that, apparently, the main item of the show was a sort of 'lesbian display' between two beautiful women who stood there stark naked and kissed each other - and then did all sorts of rude things to each other's bodies. There was also some oral 'sex kissing'.

He said that all his colleagues got very excited by this. But he claimed to have just 'appreciated the artistic side of it'. I asked him if he was trying to be funny! Then I locked myself in the bedroom for a few hours, and refused to speak to him.

Doc, I would like to ask your advice on this matter. Why do men go and look at naked women performing sexual acts on each other? And why on earth did my husband go along with this? After all, he could have got up and walked out.

Finally, do you think he achieved sexual excitement from such a gross and indecent spectacle?

Answer: 

I am sorry that you got so mad about this. Obviously, you are very upset about the idea of your spouse watching a lesbian show - and (worse still) perhaps getting excited about it!

In recent years, the historic and beautiful city of Prague has become famous for this sort of stage show. Large parties of men (and some women) go to watch.

I have stated in this column before that when you have a group of men who are away from home together, there is a certain 'peer pressure' which makes them feel that they have to join in with what is going on. So it probably would have been difficult for your husband to have walked away from the rest of his group. He was in a foreign city, where he presumably did not speak the language, so it might have been difficult for him to get back to his hotel.

Now you ask me whether he 'achieved sexual excitement' while watching those lesbian frolics. Well, I have to admit that it is quite possible. But my advice to you is not to pursue such questions as to whether he got an erection or not. I think discussing that would only cause trouble.

As you rightly suggest, it is curious that so many men do get excited by the idea of lesbianism between very attractive women. No one has ever come up with a very satisfactory explanation for this phenomenon. At the moment, Google has 600,000 websites which attempt to explain it!

Personally, I cannot provide an answer. But perhaps it may be with the well-known male belief that 'four breasts must be even better than two'.

Anyway, I think we must just accept that your husband and his colleagues went to this silly show together. Nothing will change that, but I hope that he won't do it again, in view of the distress which he knows it has caused you.

But there is one good thing to concentrate on. As far as we know, your husband did not have sex with any of the women afterwards and that, at least, is something to be grateful for.

ENDS

Some quick stereotypes comes to mind for example:

Why do straight men like lesbians as friends?

Some like having women friends who will always be just friends

Some value diversity in their social circle

Why do straight men feel attracted to lesbians?

Straight men are attracted to women

Lesbians are women

Why do straight men specifically chase lesbians?

Some think lesbianism is a phase

Some think they can get any women they want

Some think their infatuation is enough to overcome her disinterest

Some think this is their ticket to a threesome

Keep talking folks.

also see:

Why do some lesbians or bi women like gay male porn?

Peace & tolerance

H