17yo reunites with mother & siblings after homophobic displacement

So this one rings with positive energy all over it, a very special thanks to the two impeccable sources who alerted me to this occurrence and their intervention at varying stages of the occurrence from as early as October 2009.

An extra special thanks to them as well for granting the permission to publish selected aspects of this positive outcome which are few and far in between, usually most cases of this nature aren’t cleared up so quickly and with so many unexpected players involved. This is indeed wonderful news given the ugliness of our homophobic landscape.
Another final special thanks to the Guidance Counselor at his school whom despite her Pentecostal faith saw a life interrupted and professionally did what she could given her parameters on which to operate to intervene.

In early October of 2009 a then 16 year old youth was apparently outed through an incident which occurred at his gate where a friend of his had come to confront him about an exchange with other friends about private matters, his mother and stepfather who resided at the home at the time were present in the house but overheard the argument between the two which amounted to accusations of homosexual conduct.
He was questioned by both parents and chastised he denied the accusations and was warned if it were true he would have to leave the home, unfortunately the rumour which quickly spread through the neighbourhood was confirmed in his parents’ eyes with another loud exchange occurring a few days later at his home this time with other teens and adults from the area demanding the “batty man” leave the community. His stepfather ordered he vacate the home and so he did. His phone was searched and alleged suggestive messages were said to be contained therein, his mother though angry was not so quick to dismiss her son but with the hard hand of her hubby he had to leave as at the time they resided at his home in essence, he vowed if he saw him again he would hurt him, his two other brothers one older and one younger were also in a way saddened that he had to leave with his older brother visibly upset and also calling him a batty man. He has since relented.

Time passed and he tried to find shelter with friends who were accommodating to a point but based on the kind of accusations he soon ran out of options. At school the rumour was not so pronounced probably because he was not effeminate and in fact is very masculine and muscular according to the descriptions provided by my sources. Here is where the two sources came into play a lesbian sister and her male cousin a university student engaged to be married took the boy into their rented house that they were sharing and made him aware of the rules, they tried to reason with both parents during this time. While his mother was more conciliatory his stepfather was hardened and adamant he is not to return as he wants no batty man around his kids (he has two children from a previous relationship) he also demanded they never call him again on the subject.

His school work started to fall from the impact of his displacement and so came in the guidance counsellor who at first engaged the boy in a couple sessions where he withheld the true nature of his dilemma, however at the insistence of the lesbian contact she said he should tell her and see where it goes. So he did, she suggested he tried to concentrate on the work and regaining his averages. She did at one stage spoke about homosexuality being wrong and referred to her Pentecostal faith and biblical suggestions but she was also very tolerant in the end according to the sources as she said she was not there to judge. There was a minor skirmish at school at one point where a girl tried to smear him but he quickly diffused the situation as he may have to also change schools if it got out of hand. He maintained a low profile as best he could.

He continued to reside at the lesbian’s home and was supported by his brothers at first who knew where he was and maintained phone contact with him. They as it turned out never liked their stepfather either so he got emotional support from that angle. The boys would share their lunch or pocket money with him when they could and the lesbian friend provided food where she could with shelter. It was not until things started to sour between the stepfather and the boy’s mother that she (the mother) was made fully aware where her exiled son was as she long suspected her two sons at home were in contact with him but didn’t want to tell her, she only saw him at school a few times afterwards when she could unbeknownst to the stepdad. Their relationship ended on a bad note in March of this year and she moved from the stepfather’s home to her own rented flat. It was from this angle the reuniting of the family was planned and eventually took place.

According to the two activists as I will now call them it was an emotional reunion in May 2010 so much so that there was not a dry eye around by all concerned including the guidance counsellor who was there in Kingston to witness the event.

We don’t get this kind of closure of cases of displacement so often in fact this is the second one that has come to my knowledge so far this year there maybe others eh?, given I cannot cover all the happenings but a good renewal of a family none-the-less. I hope that the issues though doesn’t rears its ugly head again in future disagreements as we have seen in the past, the strong Jamaican monotropic bond between mothers and sons may just keep things in check and seeing he is near the age of adulthood he may soon have his own will to sort things out but I would imagine for now with the guidance counsellor and the friends network involved there should have an eye kept on proceedings.

Thanks so much again to the two sources for this story and for getting involved with a positive outcome.

Peace and tolerance

H