Monday, August 16, 2010
Now you tell me, WHAT is wrong with some Jamaican men seemingly being unable to say “boyshorts” or “Manchester” or – gasp - fish? Yes this is a random post but it’s about something that’s been on my mind for a while and I’ve been provoked by a conversation I’m having with a friend of mine.
HOW homophobic and chupid can you really be, to think that saying these words with “man” or “boy” in them makes you gay or a supporter of gay rights or suspect? And if is hide yuh ah try hide seh yuh gay by forcefully using these words…newsflash: it does not work! Your only accomplishment is to come across as silly…and not in a good, lighthearted way either.
Set aside the moral and religious arguments about homosexuality for now, I’m not discussing that in this post. Pushed them aside? Good.
For a while I kept hearing “Gyalchester” and “Gyaldeville” and I paused…what or where was that? Seriously, it didn’t connect in my mind at all. So I inquired and was enlightened: no man, wi nuh support di battyman ting, straight gyal wi support! Um. Ok. Sure, support your girls, though I don’t see how you’re getting any with that nonsense spewing from your mouth. But how is simply saying the name of a place with “man” in it mean that you’re supporting men and men? It’s just the name of a place for crying out loud!!
All of this has been on my radar more than often because twitter, glorious, twitter. First I kept seeing “salt sea creature” in my timeline and I was like, eh? Is this a new fish? I seriously didn’t get it and had to think about, go back and see the context in which the term was being used to figure out that folks were referring to saltFISH. Pupah Jesus!! I know not exactly from whence the term ‘fish” came to apply to “gay man” (or is it vagina? I can’t keep up) but ahhm, why when referring to ackee and saltfish must one refrain from saying fish? Nuh fish weh have scale and fin yuh ah chat bout?!
Then there was the ruption on twitter between Mr. Vegas and DJ Karim about Vegas’ new tune “Boyshorts.” And what a delightful ruption it was – perfect relief from afternoon boredom. DJ Karim took exception to the title of the song…because it’s called “BOYshorts.” Mr. Vegas did not take to this criticism kindly and unleashed his now legendary Twitter Tracing on DJ Karim. It was entertaining to watch though it did get out of hand after a while. Some quibble about whether the criticism warranted a response and I understand their points, but I for one was glad Vegas said something because I found the bother about the title “Boyshorts” juvenile. Yes, yes I know is Vegas and he is a lightning rod but c’mon!!
How homo-sensitive can you be? Is there any wonder that Jamaica and Jamaicans have been branded homophobic (and sometimes by implication backward and ignorant) and dancehall as misogynistic? And now I’m talking to a bredren who’s relating to me how his bredren had a problem with the name of the song and went on a research bent to find an alternate name…apparently so he wouldn’t have to say BOYshorts. Kiss mi neck back.
O and there is “Testing 1, 3″ because saying 2 also aligns one with being gay (refer to Terror Fabulous’ explanation below but shorthand: 2 = reference to the anus, the 2nd hole and the one that gay men use)
This has got to stop. Whenever I hear men tongue tie themselves to avoid saying certain words I look askance at them. HOW am I supposed to take you seriously? Seemingly sensible people trying to prove…what exactly. Yes, yes it could be about culture but I think it belies deeper insecurities about how you (yes, you men) and masculinity are perceived. As is evident throughout Jamaican culture and music Jamaican men are on a desperate quest to show that they’re men…worthy men (nuff gyal in a bungle, stab it up jack it up dig out di red, nuff cyar, nuff money, blah blah blah). But this trend really does disturb me because it’s just plain dumb and makes YOU look insecure about your team (which gives me pause) and all of us look astonishingly stupid.
Gentlemen, let me assure you: if you are gay avoiding saying certain words or grabbing at every girl within reach does not help to throw off the gaydar! Believe me, you’re still out and proud in other ways and this language use only gives me – and others – nuff jokes because your attempts to hide are fruitless. How about you tackle those tight “balls have no room to thrive” pants, shaped eyebrows, eyeliner, and V-neck button down sweaters? Because, gentlemen, wearing those pieces of clothing say nothing about your fashion sense but do scream “I’m gay, flaming even!!” more than anything else you could avoid saying…
That said, I’m going to warm up some FISH for dinner.
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Steps to Take When Contronted or Arrested by Police
b) Only give name and address and no other information until a lawyer is present to assist
c) Try to be polite even if the scenario is tensed) Don’t do anything to aggravate the situation
e) Every complaint lodged at a police station should be filed and a receipt produced, this is not a legal requirement but an administrative one for the police to track reports
f) Never sign to a statement other than the one produced by you in the presence of the officer(s)
g) Try to capture a recording of the exchange or incident or call someone so they can hear what occurs, place on speed dial important numbers or text someone as soon as possible
h) File a civil suit if you feel your rights have been violatedi) When making a statement to the police have all or most of the facts and details together for e.g. "a car" vs. "the car" represents two different descriptions
j) Avoid having the police writing the statement on your behalf except incases of injuries, make sure what you want to say is recorded carefully, ask for a copy if it means that you have to return for it