As a DJ myself for over 20 years I am not aware of us really choosing suicide as an option when trouble hits, again it depends on each ones constitution but one would use the very music on the ones and twos to sedate ourselves in case of challenges, it is long known that music is therapeutic but maybe Footie did not see it so. I am really sorry to hear of this one. For this one to come in the middle of Pride month internationally is even more egregious as this is a time for more positive imaging and LGBTQ discourse; rainbow flag controversy aside.
DJ Footie’s case the reports are that she essentially had no signs of challenges and so it is a major shock to persons which is usually the case in previous successful attempts. The loss of one of my long time allies as hinted to in a previous post he just ended it all even after posting his usual articles on Facebook only to be floored by the news on his profile. The two other reported attempts in separate matters both occurred in January and February respectively. The former tried some sort of poison or pills and was only discovered by a visiting friend who spontaneously stopped by her house. She had been stressed with some family challenges and expenses she was saddled with before but all seemed well until the discovery of the attempted ending of her life.
The March matter was a cutting or slicing attempt as the male attempter hoped to slowly bleed to death and was also discovered by a friend after several phone calls, social media linking and no apparent response. He has since been referred to a community influential and a psychologist for proper interventions. We have also been speaking occasionally on the phone where at opportunities encourage him to keep up with her appointments and so on. I am disturbed by the issues and the fear or reluctance of persons to reach out though; I am not a psychologist and may never understand the complexities fully but it is a bit disconcerting that persons are on Facebook, Instagram and so on and continue to present a bettered or false representations of themselves even as they struggle and despite increasing pages offering avenues of escape if you will or counselling. I have expressed this challenge of falsified or alter ego online personas versus self imposed pressure to keep up appearances before which I think are part and parcel to some of this. The incessant need to get likes and some recognition given (narcisstic mirroring) how rejected psychologically some feel so I guess the urge to use social media and so on for alternatives is somewhat understandable.
Another concern is the false sense of security that seems to be push by JFLAG and others as they seem more interested in image rightsizing than the actual realities, it is understandable to have a positive side but we must also GET REAL, coupled with the strange continued reports of social media fallouts due to sometimes new users both in age and commencement are having teething problems using Apps and adding public pages while not scuttling friends’ lists while mixing family members some of whom end up monitoring activities; to include the look of folks, their gender and even how many males or females dependent on the profile’s owner likes ones pages or posts. There are hardly good sustained any avenues for coming out by one’s recognisance and while social media platforms offer instant communication and a not so perfect avenue for being out many persons especially older ones are running into some challenges as they adjust to using new technologies and engaging other persons. While JFLAG operatives and such can afford to be out and it seems to push others to want to do the same others do not have that luxury and may also feel inferior or left out which possibly can. They all have visas and can depart in a moment’s notice whilst the ordinary ‘likkle sport’ is not so blessed, a point repeatedly made sometimes by some.
Ostensibly it would be difficult to convince persons to come forward with challenges and although we have had help lines established nationally but which need far more awareness support persons choose what in their minds the easier way out. Some of the same outlets though seem not equipped to handle LGBT matters which may further complicate the recovery process and some outlets are run by faith based organizations or churches. We just never know the pain persons are enduring. One former participant of the Aphrodite’s PRIDE Jamaica’s Enterprise Training said something profound yesterday, she said words to the effect that persons who are struggling need to reach out and do not put on a show as if everything is OK when they are not. I have been trying in a small way to encourage persons to actually be themselves via their social profiles but I know that is going to be difficult to sustain such a suggestion given how the world works today.
What is also interesting with these cases is that the individuals were from relatively stable homes or lifestyles, they seem on the face of it not to be struggling with finances or existence save and except for the latter case where she had some alleged financial issues but all in all they were not poor or displaced or homeless for that matter. These ties in with my concerns as to presenting or living a double life when the painful truths are hidden only to be a farce, in fear of being seen as less than what was and is presented. One hardly hears of suicide attempts in the lower socio economic circles in quite a while and the age cohort of suicides just by a cursory review without the benefit of strong statistics seem to be between the early twenties to early forties. Older folks tend not to consider suicide as an option although my aforementioned ally Mark who ended his life in NY was in his mid fifties.
My last direct contact with someone who was considering suicide was in late 2014 and which lasted just over a year with intermittent talk therapy or versions of it but he was referred to a professional who aided greatly. What also concerns me as well is that successful suicides made public and given the feeling of no attention then seeing the news getting so much of it can be a catalyst for contemplators to make such attempts as the experts tell us. For every successful suicide made known the contemplator wishes or wants to also achieve the same results and may work actively normally quietly towards ending their own life. Even how I prepared this post I had to choose my words carefully as I was advised some years ago during suicide prevention day observance as sensational appearing coverage can be a catalyst for such contemplation as they may feel attention is finally paid to them after the relief is attained in their eyes.
I hope you my readers if you know of any such persons contemplating such a final course to reach out to some outfit or requisite expert and informally some talk and words of encouragement can help; that is of course if outwards signs of trouble are there as in many cases no evidence is shown of signs of trouble.
Peace & tolerance