Yet again our goodly friend Pastor/Psychologist Aaron Dumas continues to flout the guidance of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual DSM on reparative therapy and on suggesting same to persons who supposedly make homosexual desires known to psychologists. One could conclude he is going against his own profession's guidelines.
I have been fighting with the church and my feelings and it has been going on for a while now.
I am the daughter of a pastor and I have dated a number of guys in the past, but I have fallen in love with a young lady.
All my life I have seen couples being happy and so in love, and I have been searching for that kind of love in my previous relationships, but always ended up feeling empty inside, until this girl came along.
This love happened in the span of less than two days and it has caused me to wonder if this is really love, obsession or infatuation.
She and I have been praying fervently about the situation, but each day we grow to love each other more and more. It has gotten to a stage where she has given up a promising future with an affluent man and is being rejected by her family and friends because of me.
We have been planning our lives and futures together. However, we are very concerned about our Christian lives, and indeed, our afterlives.
The situation is quite stressful and depressing, as we are confused as to why God would allow us to have such strong feelings for each other if it is such an abomination unto Him.
Why is it that we can get no concrete answer to our prayers? We really need an answer from you, Pastor.
The pastor's response:
Are you blaming God for allowing you and your friend to be doing something which the Bible describes as unnatural?
Before you started to pray and became intimate with this young woman, you were aware that the Bible condemns all form of homosexuality, whether it is between two men or two women.
I know that whenever I quote the Bible in dealing with a matter such as yours, some people curse me and accuse me of condemning gays.
I am not condemning you, but I have to tell you that I cannot encourage you to do what you have written to me about.
Therefore, I must remind you that God is not pleased with such a conduct.
20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. 21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools 23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like a mortal human being and birds and animals and reptiles.
24 Therefore, God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praised. Amen.
26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error." (Romans 1:20-32 NIV)
I want to assure you that nothing is impossible with God and I believe that if you were to cry out to God and ask others to help you pray, God can deliver you. You were not born gay, you loved men, but they have hurt you. Yes, my exhortation to you may sound stupid to some, but I believe in a powerful God. Nothing is impossible with him. If you lay your life on the altar and turn away from your girlfriend, you will be delivered.
You say that you and your girlfriend are praying about the situation in which both of you are involved. Continue to pray, but separate yourself from her.
You may consider making an appointment to see a Christian family counsellor or psychologist who would help you to deal with your depression. I am sure that what you are suffering is a result of the relationship that you are having with this young woman. God knows what you are going through, but remember you cannot do whatever you please and expect God to bless you.