Prepared by Dr Shelly Ann Weeks
You start to move your hands faster as you feel the tension build and then - WHOOSH! Fireworks go off as you feel like the only thing keeping you together is your skin. Your pelvis pulsates as you feel the most amazing sensations you have ever experienced. You hear your heartbeat in your ears and your body is in frenzy as you struggle to find consciousness while recovering from your orgasm.
For so many women, the first orgasm is achieved during masturbation, and it makes sense, because who knows more about pleasing a person than that individual herself? As a sex educator, I advocate for people, especially women to masturbate. I stress more on women because there is still a lot of stigma when it comes to female masturbation. Too many women are still feeling ashamed of touching themselves because of the perceived assumptions that are made about women who masturbate.
She is lonely and no one wants her
This assumption is ridiculous because it implies that a woman is only validated by her ability to find a suitable partner.
Furthermore, having a partner doesn't stop her from masturbating. There is no rule that says that the only reason to masturbate is out of necessity because when is lonely and desolate.
She's in a relationship and it's not allowed
If a woman is in a relationship where she is forbidden from masturbating, then that relationship has bigger problems than sex. She is free to pleasure her body however and whenever she chooses with or without a partner.
Her partner is not satisfying her properly
Women who masturbate are more interested in sexual pleasure, and she will also want more frequent sexual encounters. The skills of her partner will not stop her from enjoying her own body.
If a woman is disgusted by the thought of touching her own body, what kind of response does she expect from a partner? Masturbation is not only a function of pleasure, it's also familiarising oneself to the beauty and wonder that is the human body. Having full knowledge of the body, how it works, what areas feel extra wonderful when it's stimulated, are all necessary for the full enjoyment of sexual encounters with a partner.
When we look at male masturbation, it's not hard to convince men to masturbate because it's accepted in society that they need to do it. As a baby, a little boy takes off his diaper and discovers his penis and spends minutes pulling and tugging at it, while his mother squeals with delight and marvels at how cute he is. On the other hand, little girls are reprimanded if she even thinks of taking off any article of clothing. It is clear that our socialisation has affected the way we look at our sexuality, especially masturbation.
It has been a personal quest of mine to get individuals to see the value of having a satisfactory sex life. Masturbation is a great tool to help individuals learn their bodies, and as a result, become more in tune with the pleasure experience for both themselves and their partners. So ladies, it's your body, touch yourself.