Our Children are at great risk ........

By Leighton Levy wrote this piece in the Star News which is one of the few remaining sensible non sensationalistic columns left in the paper which was once described as the afternoon version of the Gleaner: Have a read:

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to live with faith.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.


- Dorothy Law Nolte PhD (1972)

It was bound to start happening. I mean children live what they learn, children learn what they live, or so the song above says. We could not go on treating each other like savages and killing each other the way we do and it not affect our children. After all, this is what we have been teaching them for a while.

It was no surprise then that in recent times we have borne witness to a couple of incidents where children have become the perpetrators of murders. There was an incident recently where a young girl stabbed her 22-year-old brother to death, another where a girl accidentally stabbed her brother to death 'while playing' (I mean, who plays like that with a sharp knife), but the most heinous occurred a few days ago when a 15-year-old girl stabbed her six-year-old brother to death!

Now, I don't know about you but a single stab wound is one thing - even though I am still unable to wrap my mind around why someone would want to stab a six-year-old - but to stab the child four times, that's just plain cruelty.

perpetual violence

It is easy to pin these incidents on the attackers and turn a blind eye to the bigger picture and we do that very well here in Jamaica, but how much longer can we continue to ignore the fact that the perpetual violence that this country has been besieged by for more than a decade has finally begun to take hold of the psyche of our kids.

Seriously, what kind of dispute can a 15-year-old have with a six-year-old that would require the elder of the two to resort to stabbing the latter to death? I don't care what the issues are; stabbing someone to death can never be the solution. But in Jamaica today, we seem to have lost the ability to argue our way out of disagreements. The minute an impasse develops our first reaction is violent. So while we continue to try to dig our way out of this enormous financial hole we have found ourselves in, there are other more serious issues that we also need to contend with.

The examples we set for our children are very important in their overall development. It makes no sense we tell our children one thing and then we show them examples that are in direct contradiction. Children are not idiots and it's time we recognise this; and I don't care where you're from.

People who live in impoverished communities sometimes like to use their economic circumstances as an excuse to behave poorly. What they should remember however, or at the very least be cognisant of, is that we should always want our children to lead better lives than we did. So with that in mind, we have to start to do better. Similarly, in more communities of more affluent people, if their children see their parents using their considerable means to flout the law, what do they think the children will do when they become adults?

We have to start to do better. It seems as if it is already too late to save this upcoming generation that has already been severely scarred by the violence around them, but I have long held the belief that even on the road to madness there is always a way back.

Send comments to shearer39@gmail.com

ENDS

Coincidentally the matter was touched on via the GLBTQ Jamaica Facebook Group by a bisexual parent who expressed some concern about children's care and safety, she commented

"When adults are not conscious of how unconscious they are, they are unaware of how damaging their actions can be. in many cases the children suffer more than adults realize. (Discover the Gift)

For many years my world struggled to understand my passion for deliberate parenting, my focus on identifying and unlocking the key to my childrens' heart and mind and not just their actions. My scarifices (seeming), professionally as i pursued the school of life, to create, find, recreate a world in this world for children to BE acknowlegde as equal spirits to all other beings.

To clear the confusion as to the Right to be seen as well as heard, to be trusted rather than to have doubt and dependence shackled to them. To connect to the pain and bewilderment, the frustration and the thoughtless submission enforced by an ' unaware adult world, it hit my consciousness today, i cannot get weary in fighting for parenting to be more than a presumable osmotic expierence.

So many experts now speak and write books on strategies of parenting, missing the most important link, to build the consciousness of the adult, to change thought, deny myths, affirm spirit in the process, allow the equal participation of the childs spirit with ours.

This was was cry as a child lost in an adult world, today i allow my children to help me to find 'our' way in this world.

I thank my parents Walter and Rubie for giving me a glimpse of Positive Proactive Parenting."

Also at a recent community meeting where JFLAG was present it was asked and subsequently proposed that we stand with allies on other issues chief among them the rights of the child and given recent atrocities to the young it is disturbing that we have not joined in the chorus of condemnations on them, it's no wonder why the nation is cynical and compare rights as more needed than others with our calls deemed unimportant?. We cannot just be locked on gay rights or seeking superstar status as it appears to be that on that basis as many of our own detractors are champions for children's issues chief among them Betty Ann Blaine for example, if we ask the gay lobby are asking the nation to be tolerant then why are we uncooperative in working with these groups on issues that affect us as a whole? Yes Jamaicans for Justice and others do speak from time to time about LGBT issues then why are we reciprocating and join them publicly on issues they champion?

So the hypocrisy on our part continues.

Also see: Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) Functional Bisexuality, family units & the discourse

Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) (repost from 09) ........ International Family Day

Peace and tolerance

H

Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) Functional Bisexuality, family units & the discourse

So last night's (May 3rd) discussion at Open Mic Open Soul was one of the best ones yet where we looked at Gay Parenting from a mother's point of view seeing Mothers' Day is approaching Sunday May 8th 2011, the night feared well as persons mostly women as it was intended filed in and were seated, our presenter for the evening was already seated in her mini-van in the beautiful flowered outdoor setting under the cloudy but moonlit night as rain fell some hours before. Her 32 minute PowerPoint supported delivery was simple and not to wordy or over intellectualized as others who have come before who seem to be about impressing the audience more than engaging and stoking discourse. This session of course was also a follow up discussion to a post from my sister blog Gay Jamaica Watch on Gay Parenting (a view from the ground) in 2009 that has been getting some attention recently as International Family Day approaches as well which is slated for May 15th. Another same gender loving women's group is also planning a family day out with activities at a private resort around that same period.

Several interesting pointers were vigorously debated and put forward with regards to having and rearing children via several means:

Surrogacy:

Some of the participants were willing to have a surrogate act as an incubator with one of the partner's eggs used and a sperm donour or close gay/bisexual friend taking on that role. Persons felt though that they needed to have the child conceived naturally and not by a third party, even if their own eggs were removed and implanted in the third party's uterus, they felt it should be natural from start to delivery, the child will be more connected to the mother.

Turkey Baster:

A few persons also preferred this method (device show above) as it would not involve any males directly which was a concern for many ladies as for using the method itself those who wanted no males involved in the insemination process preferred a professional performing it than doing it themselves however.

Live donour:

One couple much to the clear unease of some participants expressed their preferred method of having a male friend literally copulating with the willing partner who will carry the pregnancy to full term and delivery, the man would not necessarily penetrate the would be mother for any protracted period but use outercoursal methods such as masturbation or have another male partner to assist via frottage or intercrural sex (leggings - penis between the crotch for friction leading to ejaculation) femoral/interfemoral sex/intercourse or Irrumatio, also called irrumation.

One other participant said that seeing she was bisexual she had not problem having full on sex with a male partner providing all the needed tests were done such as HIV and sperm count if only just to have the child then proper arrangements would be made following as to his involvement or not with their development and growth.

Existing child/children:

A couple present had a 7 month old baby present all wrapped and cute, this had the ooohhs and aaaahhs flying a they revealed their bouncing toddler to the audience while not prepared to reveal how the child came about they proudly stated they had already given him both their names, they shared their mostly positive experience from the delivery room to anti natal clinic to the other follow up visits that they still are conducting for the child's care. Much to the surprise of many including myself they said the nurses and staff at the Spanish Town hospital where the child was delivered all knew and they in some instances addressed the other partner as the "baby father" whenever she visited despite her very feminine look as she is not butch identified. Two other women substantiated the claim as they also related their own stories describing how they were treated as a couple with very courteous and positive feedback but as was expected there was lesbophobia for one woman who arrived afterwards and stated her ordeal at the Bustamante Children's Hospital during her and her then partner's visits there was open hostility and persons expressing their dislike for same sex parenting. The positive experiences was welcomed news as this shows real progress in some aspects on the ground.

.

A female teen the daughter of a lesbian who was also present spoke to the audience of the verbal abuse from other kids who taunted her about her lesbian mother, she is one of five siblings who are all aware of what goes down. She also expressed her love for her mother which brought almost everyone in earshot to tears.

Adoption:

Some participants expressed their willingness to adopt and in fact our presenter shared her personal family set up where she is a bisexual professional and her male counterpart is fully aware of the arrangement, they all reside close to each other and share rearing the four children invloved, two of the children were products of the original marriage while one was the product of the female partner from a previous union. The fourth child was fostered recently with a view to full adoption, the eye opening revelation was shocking to some as the reactions proved as jaws dropped and the questions came flying from persons about the set up and how they all made it work. The photos of the combined family together was real proof that is was a real functional unit right here in Jamaica and was a fitting example to aspire to not to its fullest but at least the comradery.

Persons were urged by the presenter to formalize adoptions to include proper documentation of monies spent, taking the needed steps for naming, declaring and providing adequate support while liaising with the relevant agencies such as the CDA, The Child Development Agency. In formalizing adoptions early it can avoid a possible intervention of a male figure or previously absent father from wanting to regain full custody for example which he has a right to do if the child was not cared for or registered properly, all he would need to prove is paternity, he also can file a suit outside the Family Court in the ordinary RM court for damages and try to show justifiable cause for reclaiming the child, often times this is done out of jealousy or hate sometimes as seeing the child in a same sex relationship doing very well can bring feelings of inadequacy as a man as society stipulates men are household heads and should lead. It was highlighted that children do just as well or even better in same gender loving homes than in heterosexual arrangements as they learn tolerance, distribution of activities, they are less judgemental and tend to be very protective of their gay/bisexuals parents.

Another very good discussion at the Oasis.

Peace and tolerance

H

Objectives of Parents Month indeed with LGBTQI children invisibility ..........

November is Parents Month, which has been observed annually since 2000. As per usual the omission of LGBT families and or children was evident yet again this year. In addition, the Ministry of Education, in 1991, designated March 10-15 as Parents' Week, using the theme: You can make a difference to your child's education.

An series of extended radio discussions by mostly the parent teachers associations, religious leaders and others only sought to reinforce the exclusion in their ideas of a perfect world, namely Reverend Clinton Chisholm and others; they want to supposedly 'purify' the stream as is in their eyes LGBTQI children are an anathema. 

The objectives of Parents Month for this year include:

To celebrate and recognize the achievements of our parents and guardians

To create opportunities for parents to further develop their parenting skills

Support the strengthening of the home-school relationship

To encourage our men to be more involved in the role of parenting

To remind our youth that parenting is a serious responsibility that should be undertaken only by prepared and mature adults

To encourage parents to join the PTA so that they too can have a voice in the transformation of the education system and the running of schools

To develop an awareness in parents that they are their child's first teacher so they should be good examples and mentors to ALL children

To encourage communities and ALL adults to protect our children, support parents in their role and be partners in the raising of children

To promote family life and health education in schools, as preparation of tomorrow's parents begins with the education of children

Create networks among parents for their own support and that of their children and the schools the children

Inform parents of the material and human resources that are available to help them to become effective parents

Nowhere in the mix is anything was any reference to LGBTQI kids save and except for the reparative therapy ambit. Children can be broken as it were once they display any non conforming behaviour and then we expect unity!

Buoyed by the Trump win some of these religious fanatics are more emboldened to support anti LGBT sentiments while ignoring the open misogyny by the said presumptive President then they also ignore the disgraceful nude parading of his THIRD wife; they claim God is using Trump to change the status quo and gay marriage in the USA will be defeated despite a Supreme Court judgement.

The general tenets of the objectives are noble but we are now in a different day and age and they MUST be way more inclusive than before.

Think on these things

Peace & tolerance

H

Homeless Awareness Month: Flashback to New Kingston's Displaced MSM

A detailed look at some of the older populations of displaced and homeless MSM and their challenges from as early as New Kingston's business district came to being.
recorded November 7th

November is seen as homeless awareness month in some parts of the world and parenting month here in Jamaica but parenting ideology that seems to ignore LGBT youth at varying levels; case in point the recent comments by the Family Planning Board albeit they have merged with national HIV program. MSM homelessness is an ISLANDWIDE problem not just limited to the New Kingston business district that now is the target of a new kind of LGBT crisis reporting to use them to collect data in light of the upcoming buggery case in the Supreme court slated for November 2014, where were the present so called concerned all this time?

Taken from a recent Observer article:

Dr Sharlene Jarrett of the National Family Planning Board said the constraints in providing direct sexual and reproductive health service to gay teens is the same as reaching the wider adolescent population because of the clash between existing policies and the law.

"There is a serious barrier in terms of what we can provide to MSMs," she told the Sunday Observer.
As such, she said these gay teens have to be reached at the treatment sites, albeit that this is usually after they have become infected with a sexually transmitted disease.

"For MSMs our national HIV programme doesn't have data in terms of the age range of these teens coming to the workshops which we have been having for the past three years to link them to support services," she said, noting however, that what is being done to reach these gay teens is just not enough.
"There are limits to where you can carry a group of young men to give them a service which will help them," she said.

Chief executive officer of the Jamaica Family Planning Association, St Rachel Ustanny, also agreed that services for gay teens are limited.

With the conflict between law and policy preventing the wider youth population from accessing contraceptive services such as condoms, Ustanny said the problem must be large within the sub-population group of MSMs.

Ruth Chisholm, country programme manager for Population Services International/Caribbean, said the current environment makes it very difficult to provide information and counselling to these gay teens.

"There would be less demonisation if dialogue started in the home as this is a key solution to some of the challenges," she said.

But this dialogue has not started in the home for gay teens, as the Jamaica Forum for all Sexuals Lesbians and Gays (J-FLAG) Executive Director Dane Lewis said it is becoming an increasingly common practice for some parents to turn out their children when they self-affirm or are suspected of being lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT).

JFLAG in the meantime continues to pass the buck on the issue by demanding that government get involved when we know fully well that they are in no way interested or want to see directly addressing this in fear of loss of votes, simply put while no direct programs are being developed within the last four plus years of the very public challenges with the ever changing populations. Homeless MSM have always been in New Kingston mostly migrating from downtown from parks or old buildings. 

The very former JFLAG office and parent NGO Jamaica AIDS Support for Life Office on 4 Upper Musgrave Avenue (above now demolished) was squatted on long before both groups moved in the nineties as the building was empty for some time. The men at that time shared the house with female commercial sex workers while charging them fees as well to use the room while the younger men would use the water supply to shower and cook. Other former open spaces turned buildings and parks such as Emancipation Park had men staying over night on many occasions, other spots now turned town houses also had this occupation problem.

The sudden interest by some in this population especially post the Safe House Pilot project closure in 2009 is interesting to say the least even as the men themselves hung around the old office prior to the landlord taking action by an eviction notice. 

There are three major waves I can recall the main one had both the causation becoming the very thing that diminished the numbers that being HIV/AIDS and related infections, many persons in that 80s era were evicted due to discrimination as AIDS related diseases then were far more visible than today with less sophisticated antiretrovirals around. Then came the second major wave of younger displacees who in turn were distracted by other not so legal activities where some of the men got themselves involved. However since the down turn in the economy, the not so legal activities losing grip and the increase in forced evictions over time caused the present third major wave to include the dubious closure of the Safe House opened under Jamaica AIDS Support, JAS in 2009 which sent the men into New Kingston itself joining others who were already on the road and the subsequent police crack downs and public clashes. 

Other spaces in the business district to name a few that housed or were illegally occupied by displaced MSM include:

emancipation park under construction was used when it was an open lot 

the old Jamaica Broadcasting Corporation building when it was closed was occupied by a myriad of homeless persons including MSM now turned the Ministry of Works office.

The new UK visa/document pick up once an old unoccupied house

An old hotel on Trafalgar now turned Scotiabank's Card Center and so on

Unfortunately homelessness has not risen to the level of importance as decriminalizing buggery has so the men are just data collection material and recipients of tokenism by more privileged advocates. Why has this not gotten the attention it deserves folks your guess is as good as mine as HIV prevention and MSM advocacy trumps the welfare issues. We keep hearing of upcoming shelter ideas, donation drives that die as soon as they are born and just side-lining of this group for so long.

also see some previous post from as early as 2009:

On homelessness, evictions, hypocrisy & now JFLAG's own displacement ...............

The Safe House Project background from the conceptualizer …………………

The Quietus ……… The Safe House Project Closes

The Ultimatum on December 30, 2009

And MSM continue to be ready material for data collection

Street MSM Stone J-FLAG – After Being Cleared From Gov’t Property

Kingston’s Homeless MSM challenges scream for proper attention

And we continue to reap the world-wind for not addressing homelessness when it was manageable

Utmost hypocrisy , J-FLAG

A claim on How to help homeless LGBT Jamaicans ..... let us not forget it was the same Jamaica Observer who accused JFLAG of abandoning the homeless MSM specifically in New Kingston in an older editorial:

Marauding homosexuals and J-FLAG (Observer Editorial) ……………………

Homelessness, rape and HIV (Observer)

Think on these things people, lots of our lessers have fallen through the cracks right under the very noses of the ones who shift responsibility and just basic concern and well funded agencies who simply do not care. All this happenings when exactly a year ago in a town-hall meeting JFLAG's Executive Director said a space was identified yet no follow up to actually tell the community the deal fell through due to legal challenges.

also see: Homeless impatient with agencies over slow progress of promised shelter (with a podcast included)

Interfaith group treats homeless MSM in St Catherine

Here is a video from 2007 CVM TV where a party I was supposed to be at in Llandovery St Ann was captured by a video crew but the DVD ended up on the streets thus leading to the influx of homeless from mostly rural Jamaica meeting up on existing populations. Hence the large numbers and new cases added to the mix.

a 2009 Word Focus report also touched the matter:

The history of the major population explosion of homeless MSM/transgender occurred and references to the party DVD that was leaked to the bootleg market which exposed many unsuspecting patrons to the public (3:59), also the caustic remarks made by former member of Parliament in the then JLP administration.

The agencies at the time were also highlighted and the homo negative and homophobic violence met by ordinary Jamaican same gender loving men.

The late founder of the CVC, former ED of JASL and JFLAG Dr. Robert Carr was also interviewed.


At 4:42 that MSM was still homeless to 2012 but has managed to eek out a living but being ever so cautious as his face is recognizable from the exposed party DVD, he has been slowly making his way to recovery despite the very slow pace.

Peace and tolerance

H

Not Much has changed since eh....Charter of Rights Bill Deliberations

here is an excerpt from the REPORT OF THE JOINT SELECT COMMITTEE ON ITS DELIBERATIONS ON THE BILL ENTITLED AN ACT TO AMEND THE CONSTITUTUTION OF JAMAICA TO PROVIDE FOR A CHARTER OF RIGHTS AND FOR CONNECTED MATTERS - July 20, 1999.

view the full PDF report here

here we are ten years later and nothing much has changed see former Prime Minister Edward Seaga's take Charter of Rights/dynamics of development (Part 11) many others are worried about the so called loopholes in the proposed charter that would make "homosexuality" too out there.

Excerpt reading.......
Discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation

Another issue raised was whether the Constitution should also guarantee freedom from discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation. This issue was raised, in written presentation and by oral address to the Committee, by a group called the Jamaican Forum for Lesbians, All-Sexuals and Gays (J. Flag). The written presentation is attached as Appendix 5. Representatives of J. Flag quoted what was said to be a statement by Professor Edwin Cameron, now a Judge of the South African Constitutional Court, at page 450 of the 1993 volume of the South African Law Times, that “sexual orientation is defined by reference to erotic attraction: in the case of heterosexuals, to members of the opposite sex; in the case of gays and lesbians, to members of the same sex”.

They argued that the Constitutional Bill of Rights and Freedoms should seek to protect the inherent human identity from abuse and that what was included in human identity were those features of a person, or characteristics, that that person was born with. Sexual orientation, they said, was one of those features or characteristics of human identity, in the sense that everyone has a sexual orientation and that that sexual orientation was largely, if not entirely, outside the individual’s control. Homosexuality, they said, was, to the homosexual, as natural and unchangeable as heterosexuality was to the heterosexual.

The balance of scientific opinion, they argued, was weighted in favour of the view that sexuality, including sexual expression, was indivisible from individual identity, and was in the same category as race, gender, or brown or blue eyes. Furthermore, they said, there was no credible evidence or convincing argument that sexual orientation could be changed. On that basis, the representatives of J. Flag argued that sexual orientation should not form the basis of discrimination against, or abuse of, any human being and proposed that the best way to achieve this was to include, in the Constitution, provision for protection against discrimination on that ground. That proposal, they added, was consistent with current international trends.

The Constitution of South Africa, it is to be noted, includes sexual orientation among the grounds on which the state and persons are prohibited from unfairly discriminating directly or indirectly against anyone. The Committee is concerned, however, as to the effect which implementation of that proposal would have in relation to the Marriage Act and the institution of marriage and on parenting. The representatives of J. Flag had themselves conceded that the Marriage Act would be inconsistent with such a constitutional provision. Other matters which the Committee has taken into account include the view of some of its members that the proposal by J. Flag challenges Christian society, and that, as heterosexuality is what assures the perpetuation of the human race, homosexuality could be regarded as a challenge to the existence of the human race.

These views, of course, are not shared by the representatives of J. Flag. It is important to record that the representatives of J. Flag have stated that they regard the legislation which criminalizes buggery between persons as the essence of discrimination against homosexuals, particularly in relation to its enforcement against male homosexuals, and, therefore, that if a recommendation for the repeal of that legislation in relation to consenting adults in private is as far as the Committee would be prepared to go, they would be grateful for that concession.

The Committee urges J. Flag to carry out further research as to
(i) the Constitutions which guarantee protection against discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation;
(ii) the laws which would be inconsistent with such a constitutional provision;
(iii) scientific data as to the causes of homosexuality;
and (iv) whether there has been an increase in homosexuality following on such a liberalization of the law in other countries.

The Committee is not at present disposed, however, to include in the Charter of Rights a guarantee of protection from discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation, because of the implications which this would have, in particular, its implications in relation to the institution of marriage and questions of parenting. It would, however, bring to the attention of the Government, as a matter for consideration, the issue of the repeal of the provisions of the Offences Against the Person Act in so far as it relates to the offence of buggery between consenting adults in private.

see also the Parliamentaty submission by JFLAG HERE & HERE

Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) (repost from 09) ........ International Family Day

International Day of Families, 15 May 2011
(observed 12 May 2011)

Theme: "Confronting family poverty and social exclusion"

Contrary to popular belief, there are gay parents here in Jamaica, most of them conceived or derived children during earlier heterosexual unions before going str8 gay as I call it or from marriages that end in divorce. There are lesbian parents more so than gay male parents to my knowledge as well and the children in these unions seem to be more rounded in their approach to tolerance and the sharing of responsibilities generally speaking based on my observation.

The opponents of gay parenting here who also oppose homosexuality consisting mainly the church and christian organizations who say that children must not be raised by gays because there must be a mother and father figure in the home, let's look at the so called hetero correctness where children suffer in bitter divorce battles or parents are physically present but emotionally absent hence leaving the child to seek other alternatives for development and recreation.

Str8s are doing a good job aren't they? just look at how intolerant we are as a people towards a personal decision taken based on our orientation and freedom to exercise choice ...... wow, look at how many street children or to be more religious children born out of wedlock, the alarming rise in carnal abuse, paedophilia (which is not homosexuality or committed by homosexuals as some would like others to believe), hebephilia where our teenage girls are literally watched in their growth process and targeted by men for sex (coaster bus syndrome), rape and incest. Only this week there was a disturbing news item of a girl paid by her uncle for sex.

Visible outcomes
One particular male who has three adopted boys did so out of the need for them to have a father figure as they were the product of two HIV+ parents who subsequently passed away. He is very strict with them and doesn't allow them to stray an inch, his gay lifestyle does not seem to impede his ability to father them and he has taught them that there are many types of people in the world. The boys age from the eldest 14, 12 and 10. All are attending school and are doing fairly well. They are aware of their parents' fate and are counselled by professionals who keep a close watch on them. I guess with these support systems in place it would be easier to manage these children especially in our homophobic setting where even kids often emulate what the adults do to other children who behave differently than what is expected.

I am aware of a lesbian couple who entered into a relationship some time ago with both of them having children from previous hetero unions, the kids have since been raised to be tolerant and are compatible with each other, they are told by their moms exactly what is happening and of their parents' orientation, the boy and girl ages 11 and 8 seem not to be perturbed by the arrangements and are doing well in school and socially as well. The father of the boy is active in his life and although he is upset with the mother (according to her) he speaks to both women when he visits the home to see his son making sure not to show any descent in front of them as responsible adults should behave.

There is a male couple who have been together for a while, one of the men has a son from a previous marriage but the union ended in divorce, The mother decided to share custody of the child although she was aware of her ex husband's new lifestyle and living arrangements. He has been visiting his son at her home where she now has a new spouse and the child also comes to his home as well. The growing boy, as most children do, has been asking alot of questions and both parents deliberated on how to handle the information so he would understand and the timing of it as well with confidentiality. To their surprise after they painstakingly discussed the issues with him he said openly to them that he loves them no matter what. This from an eleven year old. Kids are not fools, never underestimate children.

I think that confirms a religious phrase "And a little child shall lead them"

All in all it is clear to me that children when given the correct environment of love, support and education can become rounded individuals despite the gender and orientation of the caregivers, I don't need studies to tell me this I see it everyday by the three examples above and others which may make this post extraordinarily long so I will follow up some other time.

also see from Gay Jamaica Watch: Sexual Reproduction for Same Sex Couples?

Peace

H

LGBT History Month - The Work of The Women for Women Group

Women For Women (WFW)
A Non-Government Organization which focuses on issues as they relate to Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgendered women


OVERVIEW
Women For Women is the offspring of efforts by Jamaica Forum for Lesbians, All-Sexuals & Gays (J-FLAG), in collaboration with Jamaica Aids Support (JAS), to support the needs of lesbian and bisexual women and other related group(s) of women.


They used to occasionally present at general LGBT meetings via GLABCOM, gay, lesbian, bisexual community meetings under Jamaica AIDS Support for Life's targeted interventions programs before it was discontinued in June 2009 in the Kingston chapter.


In September 1999, the JAS/J-FLAG initiative was born; a women’s group established for support and recreation named Lesbians In Action (LIA).


In October 2000, LIA participants went through a facilitated process to restructure the group. After two facilitated meetings, the name changed from LIA to

WOMEN FOR WOMEN (WFW)


A new identity was born with more succinct mission and vision, a new format a with renewed interest and commitment toward the group.


As with any other organization, WFW went through a breakdown in 2002, but despite the hiccup, a new Steering Committee was formed in March 2003, and we can safely say that some positive strides have been made to improve our organization and community.

ACTIVITIES
We have so far hosted and continue to host educational workshops on the following topics:-


Healthy Relationships II
Spirituality & Homosexuality
Lesbian Parenting


They have also been involved in Panel Presentation organized by J-FLAG such as:-


The Women's Crisis Centre
National AIDS Committee
Combined Volunteer Social Services
School For International Training
The Peace Corp
The Editor's Forum



WFW is a four-pronged organization which covers:
Education
Activism
Recreational/Social Intervention
General Outreach

We welcome volunteers to work in any of the above mentioned areas.


You can contact them through lgbtevent@gmail.com

Peace and tolerance


H

Radio program "Love & Sex" on Sexual Identities & Transgenderism (Were you born in the wrong body?)

December 1st, World AIDS Day the Jamaican transgendered community got a chance to voice their concerns through representative “Jane” on a radio program aired on Newstalk 93FM

named :Love and Sex” hosted by Jamaican Clinical Sexologist of The Caribbean Sexuality Research Group (CSRG) Dr. Karen Carpenter and co-host Gavin Walters. Sexual identities were the broader subject of the discussion as other variants and orientations were also examined. It is not very often the local transgender community gets an opportunity on the airwaves to share real information on their lives and to dispel the misconceptions about their community and the mix up with the Lesbian, Bisexual and Gay lifestyles. Host Dr. Karen Carpenter made mention of Cuba’s lead in public education on sexual identities and their interventions with the various groups. She highlighted the outreach there as providing jobs and overlooking the packaging of persons but more so seeing people as people.

Dr. Marilyn Volker famed international Sex Therapist who has worked with transsexuals in the United Stated as well was also a guest on the one hour and forty two minute discussion touched on the possible causes of transgenderism to sexual orientations and identities.

(photo from GIRES) Gender Identity Research and Education Society UK

The opening dialogue before the interview also dealt with the differences between Transgender, Transvestite and or Cross dressers. Being the qualified person that Dr. Carpenter is she simply defined the differences.

• Transgender – seems themselves as a different gender than the one they were born as physically also known as body dysmorphia or born in the wrong body. The person is unable to conceptualise themselves as the sex they are physical in. Sexual re-assignment surgery is used to make the changes for the individual.
• Transvestite – Persons who like to dress in clothing of the opposite sex mostly for entertainment.
• Inter sexual - persons born with undefined genitalia or sexual organs.
• Drag Queens – Dr. Carpenter referred to famed diva Rupaul or males who wear female clothing either for entertainment or just comfort.

Dr. Marilyn Volker Adjunct Professor with the University of Miami Florida, Florida International University and Diplomat of the American Board of Sexology, Associate Fellow of the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists and teacher to Dr. Karen Carpenter was introduced. She also hosted a program Sex with Marilyn. She contributed much to the discussion.
She contributed among other things:

Sexual Identity: consists of four parts, Biology consisting of chromosomes and hormones persons need to look at the brain structure and not the sexual organs to determine the finality. Gender identity is the second part; it’s the brain that determines sexual identity not the genitals. i.e. male, female or in between no matter what sexual organ the person has. The there is gender role that means how persons appear or dress, if we went by what the sexual organs are and not what exist between the ears we may be dressing a child or person of a different gender. We must see children and people with the heart and not by outward appearance. Gender role is on the external, Gender identity is on the internal Sexual orientation is the last no matter what is between the legs of the person, or the brain orientation is who one is attracted to. So a transgendered person could be right handed or ambidextrous, heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual. It is very complicated at times but bear in mind what’s between the legs and ears doesn’t necessarily match how a person dresses.

Dr. Volker referred to twin studies where pairs of twins have different orientations that suggest there is more than just parenting, social and chromosomal and hormonal structure of each person. A child in as far as identity is concerned that may be born with a vagina may get more male hormones when in the uterus it could develop a masculine brain with feminine private parts.
The term for matches in sync with brain identity versus physical genitalia is CISGENDER transgender is the opposite and doesn’t match. In one in every two to five thousand births there is some difference in chromosomes and hormones. There maybe ambiguous development during birth. When there is a combination of chromosomal hormones in the middle that leads to ambiguous genitalia it is called inter sexuality also called androgyny (outside of entertainment use for rock music). Androgyny comes from the Greek word “Andro” Male and “Gyny” Female suggesting behaviour roles as well identifying with a wide range of activities and feelings excluding biological concepts.

“Jane” the leading local transgendered voice was introduced to the program where she explained she discovered she was trans when she was six years old but never started the process of living as trans female until her late twenties. She explained she was born male growing up she acted effeminate and liked doing girl’s things. “Living in Jamaica one knows that kind of thing is not normal” so she hid it depicting a male persona even becoming a bully at school using it as a shield. She adopted a very macho personality using it as a shield and became in Jamaican terms “a girl’s man” i.e having many girls and hyper masculine or the stereotypical yard man. In doing so she tried to purge the feelings within and the guilt of growing in a Christian home with heathen thoughts. She adopted a destructive cycle while cross dressing in private with suicidal thoughts which temporarily relived the tension. She would often destroy and burn feminine personal possessions only to recycle the same actions all over again. She struggled with the fact that she was still a man; the early morning boner was like “alien appendage” to her. She also had a fiancée while as a man but eventually broke off the engagement; persons were shocked upon discovering her “change” as family shunned her save and except for her father surprisingly as mothers are expected to cope with this better, she has since become accommodating.

Dr. Volker responded by emphasizing doctors are now realising through brain scans, hormonal tests and chromosomal tests to say to parents with children who are possibly transgender that one may have a child who has a particular genitalia but is the opposite sex in the brain. If many parents and troubled transgender persons were told as early as birth what the proper diagnosis is then a lot of the problems similar to the ones described by Jane would have been avoided. She also touched on chromosomal issues as in X and Y versus hormonal levels in determination of the baby’s sex, usually in a female it’s XX and a male XY, there are children born XXY born with a penis but an extra female chromosome meaning they could look more feminine or look masculine on the outside with a penis with a feminized brain, things can occur during birth. Usually girls get XX patterns with more estrogen and progesterone while most boys gets XY patterns with testosterone and androgen sometimes there is a mix in the uterus where a mix of chromosomes like XXY leading to less masculine development somewhere. There may even be more testicular tissue in girls where this mix up occurs. The available tests now can see into the hormonal and chromosomal structures. The paediatrician can now ask a parent does the they like to or want to know the chromosomal structure of their child.

Jane continued that she harnessed the power of the Internet as there were few doctors in Jamaica who knew about transgenderism. She sourced her own hormones from the Internet, she looked at the Harry Benjamin principles of care and read where possible medical journals. Dr. Volker noted that several Trans persons have to teach their doctors about the issues. Jane noted her website was down at this time. She is aware of ten individuals in Jamaica living as women some of whom are lost in the gay community due to the lack of education for them. Dr. Volker said the important thing is what the brain is attracted to and not the physical. There maybe a heterosexual female born in a girl who has a penis her brain maybe attracted to a male who maybe mistaken as gay. There maybe need for a serious re-socialization process globally to deal with these new phenomenons. One would have to also go to gender specialists, endocrinologists to get more professional and detailed information.

Jane highlighted she is pre-operative transgender meaning she has not done the full sexual re-assignment procedure so she can father a child now but after surgery cannot have children naturally or get pregnant. She plans to have the surgery as soon as she can find the money.
In answering Dr. Volker’s questions on her orientation Jane responded bisexual. Dr. Volker continued to explain that gender identity and orientation differ in the trans world. She has worked with transgender who have moved from having a penis while trying to be heterosexual male but their brain was heterosexual female but couldn’t express it as they would look as if they were gay on the outside,” it is confusing to persons going through the issues.” She emphasized the need for support. Jane continued on the lack of support systems in Jamaica except the Internet or possibly contacting JFLAG who may put one on to other transgender persons.

Dr. Carpenter noted that the Caribbean Sexuality Research Group (CSRG) offers some support to transgendered persons and runs a free clinic at the UHWI Psychiatry Unit which has been running for the last month by calling 977-0316 with a small registration fee of $500.00, leave a message for appointments as all calls are answered.

She also remarked on the misconception of homosexuality and paedophilia and the tabloid papers sensationalism creating the homo-negative perceptions over time. “The minute we find out someone’s sexual orientation is different from others we begin to monitor, oh they must be about to hit on somebody which is inappropriate.”
She highlighted that paedophilia happens when there is an economy is depressed and the power differential between the adult versus the young person despite sexual orientation is wide.

On the matter of gender variant children from a caller to the program Dr. Volker suggested that the child be monitored by a paediatric endocrinologist or a child psychiatrist who understands gender. Children who present with the mis-match usually the assessment is done in early puberty where hormones may be administered dependent on the case to stop the actions opposite to the physical presentation but the sexual re-assignment surgery is left to later in life in most cases unless they were born with both genitals or intersex. (A practice which is opposed by some intersex activists)

Program continues to the end.

Peace and tolerance.

H

International Day of Families 2K16: Families, healthy lives and sustainable future

also see my last post on the subject (sadly in 2011), sorry for the delay: GO HERE (Gay Parenting (a view on the ground) (repost from 09) ........ International Family Day)

The International Day of Families is observed on the 15th of May every year. The Day was proclaimed by the UN General Assembly in 1993 with resolution A/RES/47/237 and reflects the importance the international community attaches to families. The International Day provides an opportunity to promote awareness of issues relating to families and to increase knowledge of the social, economic and demographic processes affecting families.

The International Day of Families has inspired a series of awareness-raising events, including national family days. In many countries, that day provides an opportunity to highlight different areas of interest and importance to families. Activities include workshops and conferences, radio and television programmes, newspaper articles and cultural programmes highlighting relevant themes.

The central goals of the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development focus on ending poverty, promoting shared economic prosperity, social development and people’s well-being while protecting the environment. Families remain at the centre of social life ensuring the well-being of their members, educating and socializing children and youth and caring for young and old.

In particular, family-oriented policies can contribute to the achievement of Sustainable Development Goals 1 to 5 relating to doing away with poverty and hunger; ensuring healthy lives and promoting of well-being for all ages; ensuring educational opportunities throughout the lifespan and achieving gender equality.

Download Background note

Problem is equality in terms of other family forms seem to be left out of the equation; locally the antigay movements are still on the offensive claiming LGBT lobbyists are out to destroy the heternormative family as we know (a man and a woman), just take a look at the fearmongering laced statement from Jamaica Coalition for a Healthy Society, JCHS:

Now that marriage equality is fast rising this international observance needs way more inclusion as the same gender couples in particular and their issues are not highlighted enough by the UN. The Background has left out the direct mention of LGBT visibility with regards to emerging family units, monogaous same gender love and children either by adoption, surrogates or ISPCs methods.

The theme of the observance of the 2016 International Day of Families focuses on Sustainable Development Goal 3: Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all at all ages.

Families have a unique role in ensuring health and well-being of children. Parents can improve children’s health outcomes by providing emotional support, ensuring preventive and sick healthcare visits, including timely immunizations and proper treatment in times of illness.

This year’s observance of the International Day of Families is to raise awareness of the role of families and family policies in promoting healthy lives for sustainable future. Academics and practitioners will address issues relating to family environments and work-family balance to improve health outcomes for all family members. Discussions will also focus on the role of parents in youth and children’s well-being, with particular attention to the role of men, as well as intergenerational transfers and the well-being of older adults.

History of the observance

During the 1980's, the United Nations began focusing attention on the issues related to the family. In 1983, based on the recommendations of the Economic and Social Council, the Commission for Social Development in its resolution on the Role of the family in the development process (1983/23) requested the Secretary-General to enhance awareness among decision makers and the public of the problems and needs of the family, as well as of effective ways of meeting those needs.

In its resolution 1985/29 of 29 May 1985 the Council Invited the General Assembly to consider the possibility of including in the provisional agenda of its forty-first session an item entitled “Families in the development process”, with a view to consider a request to the Secretary-General to initiate a process of development of global awareness of the issues involved, directed towards Governments, intergovernmental and non-governmental organizations and public opinion.

Later, based on the recommendations of the Commission for Social Development formulated in its 30th round of sessions, The Assembly invited all States to make their views known concerning the possible proclamation of an international year of the family and to offer their comments and proposals.

The Council also requested the Secretary-General to submit to the General Assembly at its forty-third session a comprehensive report, based on the comments and proposals of Member States on the possible proclamation of such a year and other ways and means to improve the position and well-being of the family and intensify international co-operation as part of global efforts to advance social progress and development.

In its resolution 44/82 of 9 December 1989, The United Nations General Assembly proclaimed The International Year of the Family. In proclaiming the Year, the General Assembly decided that the major activities for its observance should be concentrated at the local, regional and national levels, assisted by the United Nations system.

The United Nations Commission for Social Development was designated as the preparatory body and the Economic and Social Council as the coordinating body for the Year. 

In 1994, General Assembly Resolution A/RES/47/237 proclaimed The International Day of Families, which is observed on the 15th of May every year. This day provides an opportunity to promote awareness of issues relating to families and to increase the knowledge of the social, economic and demographic processes affecting families.

More inclusion UN!

Peace & tolerance

H